.✧*Juno*✧.

It’s totally fine that you don’t want to be a parent. Idc, you do you. But! It’s not cool to talk shit on kids. I understand if things they do annoy you, but you have a lot more agency than they do. Especially more than babies. They’re constantly in sensory nightmare mode and can’t communicate why or do anything about it.

And kids in general are stuck with their parents, they don’t have a say in where they go. And they’re people too, so the public is for them!

I’m not mad or anything I’ve just seen this sentiment a lot and I wanted to clear things up about it. If you have any questions for me or anything I’ll open my messages back up! :)

Art for Someone In The Crowd (a fic by @rexinmov and I) (mostly rexinmov I'm so fucking useless)

we have been consumed by the goslingplier agenda (JazzBlues?? Keys To The City?? who fucking knows)

GO READ SOMEONE IN THE CROWD!!!!

because of course my only way to cope with liking something is making a comic

GO READ SOMEONE IN THE CROWD!!

with these panels, with Simon scrunching his face and tensing up, I wanted to give the impression that he was physically restraining himself, with multiple goals.

Goal 1: Don't hit anything, there are buttons all around you. Goal 2: keep your hands on the controls, keep the ship stable, if it makes an unexpected jostle, Grace could die. Goal 3: Don't accidentally hurt your hand more that Grace just kindly wrapped for you.

Simon literally going through the stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining. This is because, here, he truly believes, Grace could die. At the end, he is quite literally, PLEADING with Grace, for Grace's life.

Simon has.. never, in his entire relationship with Ryland, been this genuinely FURIOUS with him.

When Grace left him alone in San Francisco, he was at his lowest, but he was never truly furious with Grace, he was mad at himself. He was depressed and sad and frustrated.

Simon, this ENTIRE relationship has prioritized communication, trust, and Grace has, singlehandedly, torn down Simon's entire image of him.

He has broken not one but two promises for his own self gain. Grace sees himself as doing the right thing, hes saving them both time and effort. Simon sees him as a suicidal fucking lunatic that just smashed his heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

Ever since Simon got out of his terrible, intensely traumatic childhood situation, he has trying to repair the damage. He puts so much fucking emphasis on just PROMISES, TRUST AND COMMUNICATION, in his relationships with other people, because without them he is fucking lost.

Because he needs to feel in control, he needs to feel secure and safe and loved and respected because maybe that's what he never had. Grace knows this. Grace acknowledged this. They have had many conversations about it. And he THROWS IT TO THE SIDE to spare them some time, and that BREAKS simon.

He's lost in the woods.

Grace has always been somewhat of a beacon for him, the model for which to remind himself that good things can happen to him. And it is shattered. Grace betrayed him. Like everyone else did *wink wink nudge nudge future reveals to happen*

To him, it is, absolutely unforgivable.

(I’m reading the book activity so its fresh on my mind) A major contributor to grace being so engulfed in this mission was the fact that he knew his students were already living in a dystopian world where food was rationed and earths conditions were getting worse and worse as time went on. Before he’s sent off he has an entire breakdown by just looking at his students and thinking “fuck, statistically a couple of these kids would starve.” So he goes to the lab, is very forceful with Stratt telling her he HAS to be apart of this mission because even if he makes a small difference he’s doing everything he can in comparison to sitting back and watching people die. (Small side rant movie was a little too comedic I think scenes like this should of been included, it felt more like the Earth was ACTUALLY dying in the book yk but also I love it and watch it repetitively so #hypocrite)

So it is a time crunch, the entire mission he’s thinking about how every setback including recovering his own memory is wasting time earth dosent have. The probes won’t get to earth for -what people will experience- 11 YEARS. So 22 years total of travel time he puts a constant pressure on his own performance because truly it is that dire. Weeks worth of making chains IS too long, especially when he said “I don’t think we’ll have a next time” (idfk if thats the exact quote but yall remember we all just read it) because he’s thinking that next time may be the difference between the probes landing only after the world has gone to shit. (Or at least- I think he is idfk I could be yapping out my ass #thats fine and beautiful)

So even though he promised his own saftey to simon, at the end of the day he is always thinking about time wasted. Its part of why grace is known for overworking himself he does get emersed in the science of it all thats true but he also just feels such an intense pressure to figure it out before its too late.

So now heres my guessing for the FUTURE:

WE WILL SURELY BE GETTING SIMON BACKSTORY SOON JOY JOY JOY (I mean that was already apparent with the pre-transition goobers we’ve been getting glimpses of)

I’m assuming that they are both(?) going to be injured after this because grace has to come on board to a frustrated simon - get into half an argument and then when the ship becomes all fucked due to the astrophage migrating

I’m wondering how that is going to play out. Grace’s scars are I think an important part of the bond him and rocky share, its an entire messege about finding true friendship in a literal alien, someone you would give your life for. So its not like we’re just gonna skip over it “ah theres a second person different circumstance” nah. We don’t do that here. If anything its possibly going to be even WORSE because hey Simon should loose an arm - I say rubbing my hands together maniacally -

I see in my minds eye, despite simons frustration he does LOVE Ryland - for all the reasons listed above - so… he may loose that arm protecting him in someway or at least get very hurt. Grace also gets injured just not as bad - both passed out - so then rocky comes out, saves everyone stabilizes the ship, THEN Grace wakes up- gets FUCKED sealing rocky into an enclosed environment with his own atmosphere.

Simon, slightly recovered and lucid wakes up to Ryland SCREAMING oh guess what love of your life your fucking pissed at burnt as fuck saving rocky skin falling off charred and in so much pain. So now instead of just risking his life he is actually dying!!! (In your eyes, I mean we know everything will be okay eventually lul) so now we swap, armando gets grace and simon comforts ryland before he passes out being forced unconscious by robo arms. Oh Simons gonna FREAK!

Idfk it depends on how they decide to fuck their shit, im interested to see how go fishing is going to turn out because i’m not sure how i would do it myself-

BUT regardless afterwards, there will be quick relief that both arent dead. And then they will probably wont talk for a bit- grace apologizes eventually (maybe Simon asks him for space, then tells Ryland when he’s ready to have a productive conversation) explaining how he feels inadequate, like he is never doing enough. Feeling personally responsible for every death on earth. Then SIMON ITS TIME FOR YOU TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE!!!

They gotta rip each other open and hold one another’s beating hearts to talk it out EHEHEHE HOW EXCITING RIGHT!!! GRACE GETS TO FALL APART FROM THE PRESSURE OF THE MISSION AND SIMON GETS TO EXPLODE INTO A MILLION PIECES AND TELL RYLAND THINGS HE HAS NEVER OPENED UP ABOUT JOY JOY JOY!!!

Or i’m all wrong and babbling for no reason other than to babble! I mean I obviously don’t think I’m completely correct but yk general direction- word vomit- I think about them incessantly type shit

I know you all like to joke, and that is completely fine and most of the time I love it. However. If you are commenting on my posts and saying things like

“Still waiting for the next chapter..”

or just ANYTHING in that vein—

I do not like that. Please do not do that.

And especially do not do that on posts that are not related to my comic. It feels very intrusive.

I am a human being. I am not a machine that just churns out a new comic every other day. Sometimes I get burnt out. Sometimes I’m just tired. Sometimes I just take days to myself. Some days I just work on other projects.

Yes, I am working on getting the next one out, but when I get comments like this, it doesn’t help. At all. It puts more pressure on me to work quickly, and saying “ no pressure!” doesn’t change that.

There is HUNDREDS of other bloodymary artists who have comics or fanfics that you could be reading right now, so go do that instead. Don’t comment at me with your grievances.

You people, while most of the time lovely and wonderful and supportive, are not my bosses. This is a passion of mine and a hobby. I do not have to answer to you. You can wait.

This is NOT talking about comments that say things like

“Oh this is so great! Cant wait!”