Can't Spell Ranger Without Anger

G… gender roles? [I open my hand, confused, and reveal a fistful of dnd dice] Which one do I…?

[ID: screenshot of a tag, "oh god what's my gender modifier". End ID]

One time I was DMing a campaign where the players walked into that tavern every campaign has and one of the patrons was a Mindflayer wearing a very bad human disguise who insisted his name was Johnald Humanman. And they were just like “Oh, okay. Well, that’s his business” and didn’t interact with Johnald Humanman at all.

I planned for a lot of eventualities but I never planned for a D&D party being polite

I once had a DM tell us that we completed a quest line about 3 sessions earlier than he expected because we got told by a group of lizardfolk that “nobody goes to that part of the swamp” and all went “huh, ok! Thanks for the warning” and just didn’t go

Once told my players that an entire village halfway up a mountain had been killed except one survivor who went mad and they said, “Thanks for the tip!” And have avoided that mountain like the plague ever since.

Once when i was DMing a oneshot campaign i was describing the countryside leading up to a Dark and Mysterious Forest and when i mentioned a horse stable in the countryside (as set dressing) the party elected to go there instead and then spent the rest of the evening having deep conversations with the horses (with the druid character translating) who kept “conveniently” changing the subject to the Dark and Mysterious Forest and how Dastardly and Dangerous it was and the party was like “oh???? Wack, not going there then :)” and then the campaign ended

the genderless urge to give your DND character trauma

i think the most important rule about d&d is to have fun with friends and the second most important is to be wildly obsessed with your character and the third is to be wildly obsessed with everyone else’s