Being back to this house made me go back here on tumblr.
I tried going back to tumblr months ago. But it didn't stick. But I think I am back now that I am also back to this god forsaken place called childhood home. I hate everything in this place. I hate everything that I feel. And I have to remind myself that this feeling is me rebuking not my faith but actually fighting for my faith. I know I am not meant to feel this, I know I am not meant to be like this, but come on, man. I have to fight for it. And that's the hard part. That's the sad part. I just want to exist. Help if I can. Create. I'm glad I have this keyboard so I can write smoothly on my tablet without needing to open my laptop. Because in all honestly I want to give it to my brother. But I still kind of need it. I haven't even used it fully to it's capacity--- except the storage. Anyway, I also want to write stories again. Maybe now that I have time... I can go back to it. I have to get a new wireless keyboard so that I can use all my gadgets to its full potential. I can't wait to study and create. I have to fix my room for it to be comfortable and safe for me. I don't need to be safe. I just need to feel safe. Sane. Productive.











