ThoughtsAndFeelings

Personal Cheer Squad. Having someone willing to go "hey do the thing" is super helpful. My friend group is a bunch of nerds so if anyone messages the group chat with "I need an oendon" we will all immediately post photos of ourselves doing silly poses and send a bunch of encouraging messages and emoji spam. Which is basically the plot of the Oendon/Elite Beat Agents game series. There are people cheering for you! You can do it! Also for smaller stuff I have a guy in my house (we are married) and we both remind each other/encourage each other to get shit done.

Stop asking if you want to do it. Start saying you want to have it done. Do I want to wash the dishes? No. Cleaning sucks. But I want to have clean things. Say it out loud. "I want to have clean dishes." Visualize the result rather than the process as you get started.

Just Five Minutes. Promise yourself that you can quit if it really sucks. Five minutes isn't so bad. You can handle just five minutes. Set a five minute timer. Hit whatever it is as hard as you can. After five minutes, you can decide to keep going or you can take a break and come back later. If you do quit, that five minutes still made it easier for next time.

Add fun. Have a treat in easy reach as you work. Play your favorite music or podcast or have a show going in the background. Light the scented candle. Dilute your misery of doing the task with pleasure.

Mix and match! Always keep looking for new tricks, new treats, and novel ways of completing your tasks to keep from getting in a rut.

this line makes me wonder if hayes 'hated' ellwood mostly because he thought he was a cad...!

ellwood makes a joke about women after returning from 24 hours lost in no man's land. and while hayes could be laughing out of the sheer relief of getting him back, and recognise the irony of the joke, gaunt's perspective of ellwood was likely he most influential thing regarding his impression of ellwood. he'd heard about ellwood for months before meeting him, likely thinking him idealistic, naive, poetic, obnoxiously misguided about what hayes would consider reality. "gaunt thought your letters were charming even when they were cruel". even gaunt was happy to acknowledge ellwood's flaws in david's presence.

so when they meet and don't get along, i wonder if it's mainly because hayes knows how much ellwood means to gaunt, even as a friend, while ellwood is just this fickle, easygoing young man who doesn't really care about anyone, - just as maud thought, and just as gaunt himself thinks throughout the book!! hayes has a family, he's sensible with money and savvy about how the world works, he's respectful, and here comes ellwood, not only rich and a bit obnoxious but a fucking playboy who is toying with his new friend and comrade Henry's heart, whether thats as a soulmate or friend or lover (hayes been knew). Henry's a diamond geezer, not like many of the other officers hayes has met, and he's woefully gone for this utter cad who does not seem to understand just how special gaunt is. what an idiot >:(

then gaunt dies and hayes is left with said idiot, and he's going to be thinking about him in the context of gaunt for the rest of his life. he sees how cut up ellwood is after gaunt's death, but also how he swoops towards watts and other handsome young officers, and this is not how hayes deals with grief at all - he's too similar to gaunt. more likely to go off alone, or play a game of footie with the lads, so ellwood, even in his grief, still seems like this player who has the world at his feet and doesn't even realise how lucky he is/was.

And also

like, never trust the word "servant" in a translation of an ancient text--that servant is inevitably a slave. if anyone says "God" singular, with a capital g, they are lying to you.* if they spend too long on particular features of a woman's body, proceed with caution.** if something sexual is being communicated via euphemism, consider that it may have been much cruder and/or more explicit in the original, especially if you're reading comedy or elegy. etc. etc. etc. learning to recognize common ways in which translation is affected by the morals and standards of a given time period is really useful.

*with the caveat that plato does sometimes reference "the god," and to be fair, plato does have the vibe of a guy who really really wanted to be monotheist and also serves as a blueprint for a ton of christian thought so i do concede that "God" may be a valid translation choice there.

Danke, dass du fragst. 2006/2007 hat die Landesregierung Schleswig-Holsteins unter Peter Harry Carstensen (Ja, eine GroKo) versucht die Transportkosten für Schulwege auch bei schulpflichtigen Kindern nicht mehr zu tragen. In einem primär ländlichen Bundesland mit langen Schulwegen. Mein eigener bestand aus 5km Rad, 30 Minuten Zug und dann nochmal 2km laufen zur Schule. Während es bereits zu Protesten kam, mussten meine Eltern mich (13) und meine Schwester (10) hinsetzen und uns erklären, dass nur ich weiter auf dem Gymnasium bleiben könnte, weil sie sich die 80€ Monatskarte nur für eine von uns leisten konnten und meine Noten besser waren. Meine Schwester sollte dann auf die näher gelegene Realschule.

Also! Stress tolerance is such an important skill that having a learning disability in that area is a major symptom of a whole lot of other disabilities/mental illnesses! Struggling with it is a huge part of life! It sucks!

Am I saying everyone with misophonia needs to listen to chewing noises all day? No. But you need to find ways to tolerate it enough that you don't treat others like shit if they make a mouth noise near you.

No, you don't have to read the fic with your trigger tags. But you do need to be able to handle scrolling past the tags without being upset.

It is hard! But not having it also makes you so so so easy to manipulate. That grandma is racist AF because her mom raised her to be uncomfortable around black people and she never fought that discomfort. Trans people make so many cis people uncomfortable and that discomfort turns into bigotry real fast.

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.