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Balf spent his childhood and a good half of his adolescence with his cackle, the Woebeasts, in a reverse patriarchy (as in, a really toxic matriarchy, not the loving matriarchy I live in) where he learned the ins and outs of domestic responsibility and the kind of paranoid social awareness that abused kids get. As soon as he was big enough he went out scouting with his uncles and cousins, to avoid his much bigger, meaner sisters.
One morning they followed him, intent to pick and bully like they normally did, but somewhere in the fight one of them got the taste for blood and tensions rose until they were genuinely trying to rend him to pieces. By the time they stopped, he was bleeding out and on death's door and the girls realized their mother would be disappointed that they lost control and killed him, so they ran off to make up a cover story, leaving him to die in the desert.
Too stubborn and spiteful to leave his corpse to be found and eaten by them -because let's be honest, the girls were NOT thinking at the time but Balf knows that someone will be sent out to collect him if he stays put- so he grits his teeth and drags himself up - at first, just to move, to deny them the satisfaction of his calories, but eventually that dragging turned into patching himself up and putting one foot in front of the other, making due and surviving. He heals, finds work, and moves on, swearing vengeance.
Lucretia is a woman of action; a punch first, ask questions later, the fastest way is through kind of person. She’s got a streak of crazy, reckless abandon in her thrumming like the magic in her veins under the surface. It makes a surprisingly poetic parallel to Lucanis and Spite, actually, since she’s pretty determined and spiteful herself.
Lucretia was never good at minding her own business and got in trouble several times over the years; dueling other students at school for speaking ill of her father and uncle or bullying other students, or brawling in the streets to protect the less fortunate. On more than one occasion, she took a hit or made a scene just to let some poor slave escape the worst of someone’s temper. Her father was always proud, if frustrated with the aftermath, and not at all surprised when she took off on her own to join a rebellion to improve the state of Tevinter after years spending half her time palling around with soldiers.
Lucy is a junkyard cat! By which I mean she works in a junkyard / mechanic shop with one of her middle aged fathers.
She doesn't have "powers" per se, but she's pretty strong for her size (very helpful in her job with Papa) with a basic understanding of mechanics. I doubt she fully understands anything that Tails says, but she can hand him any tool he asks for - she specializes in human tech, not whatever he's doing with chaos over there.
Otherwise, she's absolutely as normal as she could be (as a cat raised by humans in a little town, none of whom ever really knew what she is.) She’s got a license, a bank account, a 9 to 5 job, she’s had all her shots from the doctor AND the vet, just to be safe, and keeps her rabies tag on her keychain, she went to school, had human peers, has beef with the neighbors badly trained crusty white dog; just lived her little life in her little town with her dads perfectly well.
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Everyone acting like the Dinosaurs were the Problem in Jurassic Park seems to have forgotten that all of their problems traced back to the fact that their entire IT Network was a single-point-of-failure system, a single underpaid SysAdmin who intentionally sabotaged the park for profit.
The only reason the system had a single point of failure was cost cutting. This was never going to end well because the man running it did not actually care about doing things the right way.
Yea exactly. I guess most folks didn’t read Michael Crichton’s entire bibliography like I did, so the fact that literally every plot of his can be boiled down to “Private Enterprise cannot be trusted to operate in secret without Public Oversight” got glossed over in favor of sexy Jeff Goldblum’s “Life uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Finds A Way”
Given how popular neoliberal deregulation has been since the USSR collapsed, that shouldn’t keep surprising me. And yet.
I cannot believe I never uploaded these funky little guys here. Cubert Slim and Maggie!
Maggie moved to the overworld because she's a huge baby and hates fighting, where she met Cubert, a slime with a passion for adventure and mad science! She manages their happy domestic life and explores the wide, wide world while Cubert explores the realms of magic and technology.
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Can't believe I didn't post my sdv stuff here, the sdv website.
Thomas Darling Player, the middlest of the Player Cousins who moved into their late grandfather's farm, all looking for some kind of new beginning.
Tom was working as a barista in some hole in the wall coffee shop, stuck in a dead end customer service job when he couldn't find a job to make good use of his sociology degree. His cousins call and invite him to join them, and their grandfather's letter sits heavy on his mind, until one day a rude customer snaps the last of his resolve. Fine. Fine! He'll try something else! Tom puts in his resignation, effective immediately, packs up his life, and disappears out to Pelican Town.
He's not a fighter, but he's a damn good farmhand and single handedly fells and replants an entire forest's worth of trees and picks every single mushroom, vegetable, and flower that dares to grow.
Tom and Caroline make fast friends (on the insistence of his cousins, who are business-minded people), but Harvey catches his eye quickly.
Tom isn't a man with any toxic masculinity, really. He likes wearing flowers in his hair - especially for the Flower Dance.
The irony of the resemblance between him and Pierre isn't lost on Tom when he flirts with the man's wife.
He and his cousin Sally Ann also LOVE to bug their cousin Graham, who is deeply awkward and deeply infatuated with Elliot.
Zane, the baby of the family, isn't old enough to drink yet, so the older three have drinks without him. (He was too deep in the mines, the pyromaniac.)
This it the link to the page I used to make the farmer profile: X
This is the link to the Character Creator my friends and I used: X, though I did HEAVILY edit mine to match the sprite and my own art better.
I finally sat down and 1.) recreated Sally without her bandana (I also made a hair down version) and 2.) made Zane with the same maker we used for the others.
I'm ALMOST interested enough to sit down and make their parents to figure out how they all look alike and don't and where it comes from.
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