*takes a bite of my cigarette*...... heh. the character...... *walks into a small puddle but it swallows me up like the ocean* *i am found dead years later in maine*

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

a party of adventurers that are all equally convinced that they are in completely different forms of media

the mage keeps giving smug glances in the direction they assume a camera is in. the fighter keeps getting indignant about missing attacks because of "bad dice rolls." the rogue is doubtful that a villain is gone for good because "nobody ever stays dead in comics." the paladin attributes fortune to "good rng." none of them have even considered that "tumblr post" was an option

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, today i would like to present a bold, feminist reimagining of the evidence you've seen presented against my client

LET ME WORM AMONG THE STARS

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

I love Doris and she is so cute but also she looks so much like Teddy Roosevelt sometimes that I can't help but laugh

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself