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Conversations about Russia and the treatment of its literature and art are often very shallow, especially on the side of its defenders. Of course no person is inherently evil by virtue of where they are born, but Russian imperialism (and the way it has shaped the thinking of Russian people) runs so deep it's terrifying. Even so-called progressive Russians, while vocal about the lack of human rights and political freedom in their country, are frequently blind to its imperial history. And even those progressive individuals often become uncomfortable or defensive when point about true independence of other nations is made, and as the question of moral responsibility is raised.
When it comes to authors, the waters get murkier still. The idea of a special, unique, and superior "Russian soul" remains very popular, particularly among young people who enjoy the classics and often romanticize them. Dig deeper into this trope, and it becomes clear that it is a tool of Russian nationalism and imperialism. Dostoevsky is a prime exampleâand probably the best-known Russian author abroad. His views on Russian expansion are well-documented: he had no respect for colonized nations. He openly called for conquest and spoke of "civilizing" every smaller nation. For him, respect could only be earned by surrendering sovereignty and accepting Russian rule and the Russian Orthodox Church, and the latter point he was especially adamant about. This, it should be remembered, is the same man who wrote the Grand Inquisitor poem.
To act as if these opinions left his writing untouched is naive. The mysterious Russian soul is arguably the core of every one of his major books. He villainized revolutionaries and romanticized the idea of abandoning political struggle for solemn submission to God. To a young reader, it might seem like a romantic retreat into religious life and family, but in the context of his politics and his time (Dostoevsky's most fruitful years coincided with the Circassian genocide) it is a dark path to follow. Especially now, to have students in russian schools learn from his works can cause harm considering the current situation and the need for a radically different type of thinking. A lot of russian literature feeds the imperialist, isolated thinking. And no, the artist cannot be separated from the art in this particular case because his politics are quite literally what he writes about and promotes. And as long as the "innocent russians" refuse to look at such works critically and talk about it instead of pushing the criticism down just to enjoy it properly, well, there's not much done for progress. What I am saying is - anyone can read whatever they want, but to not talk about the present issues in the writing is a problem. Reading in itself is not evil. Refusing to learn critical thinking regarding russian classics, however, is. And all of this circles back to the problem at large. No, an individual russian cannot change the political course. But an individual russian can educate themselves. And from this comes actual progress.
of course i love seeing people pushing back on the stereotype of ancient rome as this noble and glorious marble white cradle of civilization but very often it just goes too far into this equally wrong way of thinking when people start to paint ancient rome as this uniquely evil culture that's not only uniquely evil by itself but also is like a progenitor of Everything Wrong with modern society. people literally think if it wasn't for ancient rome we would have no patriarchy or slavery or colonialism. which is like. Okay so you don't know anything about any ancient culture whatsoever
the achilles scene in the odyssey is haunting tbh. the whole iliad being about men dying to have honor and glory to be remembered after death and achilles is just, just getting to the point where he believes maybe thereâs more to life than dying and maybe he doesnât want to lose his life in this pointless war and then him getting pulled into it anyway, dying the homeric hero he never wanted to be, then meeting odysseus in the underworld and telling him a slaveâs lot would be better than his own because at least he would be alive
why are greek mythology adaptations always so gritty when thereâs so many weird ridiculous antics to pull from. helen of troy not knowing how to cheer up telemachus so she drugs him to not feel any emotions and calls it a night. athena divinely intervening to curl odysseusâ hair so he looks sexy enough to successfully beg for help. aphrodite trying to help her kid on the battlefield and having to run away immediately because she gets beat up by a random mortal. achillesâ horse prophesying death to him and then never speaking again
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Ur analysis on the importance of the phaeacians + oral tradition was incredible. Damn I need to reread the Odyssey but n e ways,,
I have been mulling over in my head as to why blockbusters like Nolan's Odyssey and Troy feel the need to reduce the roles of the gods. I respect creative choices, but turning them into concepts that are implied to exist but never truly shown (Nolan's Athena is a gray area in this case) has never sat right with me.
Personally, and this is a crazy claim to make I know, it feels like in an attempt to make their adaptations more 'realistic' they turn to a monotheistic, all encompasing idea of what a god can be. Like Nolan's Zues is genuinely treated like capital G God with how Zues' lightning lakes the place of the other gods in parts of the story. For example, how lightning is used in scenes with Calypso. She looks to the sky with understanding that Zues is telling her to let him go when in the og it's Athena who commands Zues who commands Hermes to do the grunt work. Basically, if it can be reduced to Zues, it is. And Troy is it's own things since there are literally no gods more real than statues.
Have you ever noticed this? is it a thing or am I being dramatic?
I do think a HUGE part of why modern adaptations of Greek myths often reduce the role of the gods is because the directors/writers of those adaptations are deeply Christian, or at least monotheistic, in their own cultural backgrounds. They have an idea of a singular capital-G God and need to maintain that, so they shoehorn Zeus into that role. Even when it doesn't work.
Zeus absolutely isn't a moral paragon â even those who believed he would punish evil also knew about the thousand or so times he cheated on his wife, the cruelty he showed his own children, the whole thing with Prometheus and fire and humanity being unnecessarily burdened, etc. He was perceptive and powerful, to be sure, but he does whatever he wants not what's just. At best, a rules for thee and not for me kind of guy.
Also, perhaps more importantly â Zeus isn't infallible. I wrote a paper about this in undergrad, but his role comes from the fact he is the god of kingship, and therefore the leader of the gods.
Zeus very much isn't more powerful, necessarily, than any of the other gods â even Hesiod, an ancient author who loved Zeus-glazing in his myths, acknowledged that! He addresses the myth of Zeus being imprisoned and dethroned by Poseidon, Hera, and Athena's cooperative efforts; he gets his throne back because Thetis summons one of the hecatoncheires to help free him. (That's why Zeus owes Thetis a debt and is nice to her during the Iliad.) Athena regularly manipulates the shit out of him using her favorite child status. It's stated outright that Zeus becoming king is because Gaia and Rhea put him in that position as the only kid who wasn't swallowed by Kronos and therefore the de facto leader of the rebellion; he was chosen to lead based on circumstance and keeps that position based on merit.
Arguably, the implication is that Zeus is king of the gods and rules them thanks to the consent of the governed, which...you can totally explore and validate in modern adaptations, but it's very much making Zeus more palatable as a powerful king. As a god, he can be uncomfortable for people, because despite being the most supreme of the Greek gods, Zeus still often does terrible shit and it goes largely unpunished, with the consequences usually falling on the women and children around him.
Like, if your idea of god has always been something distant and mysterious and unknowable but unquestioningly good, you ARE going to find the Greek gods hard to swallow! They will not match your own definition of what the divine should be! Because rather than a distant, all-knowing being, who seeks to create a just world...Greek gods are constantly intermingled with mortal lineages and daily life, completely capable of being deceived by mortals as well as one another, and are not interested in the greater good so much as in personal benefit/enjoyment and perhaps protecting their own domains and people.
And I think many people, when given a story about imperfect, flawed, fallible, human deiites â when shown a paradigm for holiness that has zero moral requirements, and therefore the possibility that gods and many other powerful people might just frankly suck and have unlimited power anyway â reject that. As a moral or concept to include in a story, or just as lore for certain characters, the idea you can be born powerful and do nothing to deserve it and have no sense of noblesse oblige and it won't matter is...depressing. That's probably why some stories featuring the Greek gods try hard to moralize them, to sand down their edges, or else condemn them outright â even in ancient times!
Ovid is a huge example of an anti-divine mythological author, but it goes back even further. Sophocles' Oedipus Tyrannos is (arguably; nothing is consensus among classicists) all about how you simply cannot defy a fate set for you by the gods, and how miserable that can make you. Euripides' Bacchae sees Dionysus scolded for his vengefulness, being told that "gods should not be like mortals in temper," AKA that he should rise above rather than chase petty revenge against his maternal relatives like he did. Plato did that in the Phaedrus, describing the gods as idealized concepts when we know they very much aren't. And he actually lived in the culture that worshipped the Greek gods!
TL:DR making the Greek gods more obscure and/or more ethical is absolutely a thing people from monotheistic (usually Christian) religious backgrounds do, because the idea of multiple gods, let alone that god could be fallible and immoral, is deeply uncomfortable for them. BUT. It's not just uncomfortable for religious reasons, but also moral ones. In a very real way, the Greek gods being often bad but still unstoppable is a sad message that many would prefer to subvert in their retellings of myths, and even the ancient Greeks sometimes did so.
So like. I'm not absolving Christopher Nolan for the absolutely dogshit choice he made to cut the gods from the Odyssey when that removes both the main antagonist, deuteragonist/primary support, and a ton of the story's politics and themes. But it's very much not a problem unique to him.
So, hereâs the thing: I wouldnât expect someone who never studied ancient Greek language or culture to understand the concept of xenia (ΟΔΜÎčα). But itâs one of if not the biggest theme of the entire Odyssey. Fundamentally, itâs an epic about what happens when this Greek law and value was broken, when was that expected or justified or necessary versus when that was an atrocity.
And I think the filmâŠoversimplified and understated the functions and importance of xenia. At best.
Please see below the cut for a very detailed explanation of what the film gets wrong about xenia, what the practice actually was, why it doesnât work for Nolanâs ultimate thesis to the film, and the role xenia played in the original Odyssey.
âZeusâs Lawâ
Firstly, xenia is called âZeusâs lawâ throughout the movie, which isâŠperhaps not entirely wrong, but certainly an oversimplification. Itâs true that hospitality and how you treated foreigners and the obligation to welcome them was technically under Zeusâs purview, since as King of the Gods everything was.
Propriety and courtesy and kindness is not what Zeus was known for, however â frankly, if Nolan wanted to credit xenia to an individual divinity in concept, either Hestia (as goddess of hearth and home) or Hermes (as god of travelers and journeys) would be more fitting.
And really, it wasnât just about one god; just as hubris is about mortals overstepping or thinking themselves equal to anything divine, xenia is at least in part about mortals being courteous to any fellow man in the name of any god that might have put that person on their path. The only reason to call it Zeusâs law is when thinking about divine retribution, which the Odyssey movie intentionally muddies the waters on by erasing the godsâ consistent direct involvement.
Zeusâs role is in setting the standard kings and leaders must follow, yes. But his connection to xenia is more about punishing those who misunderstand it, andâŠOdysseus doesnât actually suffer from that. Or rather, he never suffers undeservedly, and he does benefit from it in the end. He underwent his struggles in getting home due to other people violating xenia, but when he does get home? Odysseus benefits from the fact that those who break xenia are punished.
Xenia among Greeks
Now, letâs get into the actual meaning and consequences of xenia. Because it wasnât actually about threat of divine retribution â it was about cultural mediation and exchange. Something that gets lost in the filmâs treatment of Greek culture as a monolith (it very much wasnât at the time), and oversimplification of wartime vs. peacetime negotiations.
ΟΔΜÎčα was a social code relating to how hosts should welcome any visitors to their home, and how guests should act when welcomed. The expectation is that the host provides good food and drink (to the absolute best of their ability â you donât just feed them, you give them delicious food and your purest wine and nicest clothes and linens and bed). The guest, after enjoying the hostâs hospitality, will reveal their name and identity and lifeâs story and purpose for their journey. And thatâs where it got political.
Crucial to xenia was mutual peacefulness â if someone comes to you as a peaceful traveler, it doesnât matter that theyâre foreign. You have to treat them courteously. The movie made it seem like the entire reason you had to welcome travelers was in case they were gods in disguise, but thatâs just not true. Implicit threat of offending a god did mean it was considered smart to treat everyone who hadnât outright wronged you courteously, but the real point was peace between peoples from different lands, especially different Greek city-states. Because once you or anyone in your family line offered or received xenia to/from anyone in that personâs family line? You could not hurt each other. It was forbidden.
Thereâs a whole scene in the Iliad where a Trojan and Greek soldier both exchange lineages before they fight, to make sure theyâre not breaking xenia, and discover one of their dads played host to another. They then go âok, we canât fight, letâs trade armor as a friendly peaceful gesture, good luck going to war!â Because xenia established outside war had a different standard.
ÎŸÎ”ÎœÎżÏ means foreigner or stranger. It also means friend and guest. Xenophobia is literally the Greek words for foreigner and fear mashed together, and it wasnât a good term in their eyes. Because at least among those who would understand and respect your customs, you had to treat the foreigner/stranger as a guest/friend. Thatâs xenophilia, love of strangers, or the act of being a good host.
The point of xenia is that it forges a peace compact. Critically, it only did so among different Greek civilizations â one polis going to war against another was what xenia sought to combat. Enough people traveling would ensure two city-states didnât and couldnât raise arms against each other.
The Exception
I do think this is the part people donât get, because the movie clearly didnât understand it either â xenia does not apply between people at war.
Yes, the Iliad has a bit with Glaukos and the armor and the peaceful exchange between people who had ancestral xenia. But the reason they canât fight is because their families had contact during a time of peace.
If your first time meeting someone is while you try to kill them and pillage their land â or rather, if youâre the âhostâ and theyâre trying to kill you and pillage your land and rape your women â you do not owe them xenia, because there is no peaceful compact to be made. Preexisting relationships must be respectedâŠ
âŠbut crucially, the entire Trojan War started because Paris, a Trojan Prince, broke xenia after Sparta welcomed him as a guest.
Nolanâs Odyssey makes it seem like perhaps the whole saga is punishing the Greek heroes and Odysseus especially for violating Zeusâs Law/xenia through the Trojan Horse trick. But likeâŠthey didnât? The Greeks didnât come to Troy in good faith as guests, they came as armed conquers determined to see Ilion burn. And the concept of soldiers disguising themselves as civilians (or hiding inside a horse) being likeâŠa war crime or violation of ethics? Was not a thing by Greek standards.
Very notably, one of the (cut) scenes with Helen in the Telemachy sees her recount how she helped Odysseus when he snuck into Troy before the horse trick â she helped him disguise himself as a local/refugee and gather intel before sneaking back to the Greek ships. And thatâs never treated as morally questionable â helping Odysseus sneak around and deceive the Trojans is unambiguously a good thing that Helen did, in fact.
TL:DR, the point is â people trying to burn your city do not count as guests, conquerers do not think of the people they plan to rob rape and kill as hosts. Xenia does not apply to people at war, and the idea Odysseus should feel guilt for his trick with the horse because it was a violation of âZeusâs lawâ is laughable. The Greeks wouldnât have cared! Thatâs not ever a source of angst or guilt in the source text, despite xenia being such a central theme.
Utility of xenia in the Odyssey
The biggest purpose of xenia was that observing it ensured peace. Neither guest nor host poisons or hurts anyone else, not directly or by proxy through hurting their family and friends. When the guest leaves, in exchange for their story, the host also should them off with valuables, ideally gold. Xenia was a way to encourage non-violent contact between different people, and stimulate exchange of information and valuables between different settlements.
Notably, where xenia is practiced, the standard for violating it is high. There are many myths about people who did things that were weird or unpleasant but not an outright violation, and therefore had to still be treated with courtesy and respect as guests.
The reason Penelope and Telemachus canât kick the suitors out isnât because sheâs a helpless woman and heâs a helpless child â their political positions are shaky, yes, but thatâs not the core issue. Rather, itâs because while the suitors have been rude, and wildly overstayed their welcome, they havenât actually broken xenia. Eating and drinking their food and wine for years instead of days, being mean to the slaves, having the bard tell stories that hurt Penelopeâs feelings, all of that is bad but not transgressions worthy of breaking xenia over. Legally, Telemachcus and Penelope have to let these assholes stay and treat them courteously, because the suitors are abusing the spirit of the law but not violating the letter of it.
The suitors donât actually break xenia until their attempt to kill Telemachus, and then when they try to refuse to welcome a poor traveller who should be entitled to all the same luxuries theyâve taken.
Thatâs a huge part of the motive for Odysseusâs disguise. He shows up as a beggar dressed in disgusting rags because he knows these immature assholes will abuse him over it, and he knows that once they do he can legally kill them and get away with it in the eyes of the gods. Thatâs the point of the first feasts and the challenge and almost everything Odysseus does upon arrival to Ithaca.
Fully half of the Odyssey is Odysseus already having returned home, but acting like a guest, so he can see who respects xenia (and is therefore loyal to him) vs. who breaks xenia (and is therefore deserving of death). And Odysseus actively works to slot the suitors and many of his own slaves into the latter category, so he can kill them and know that heâs not breaking custom, that he isnât incurring further divine wrath. And Athena helps him do it, so he can get his glorious revenge. ThatâsâŠpointed.
Conclusion
Odysseusâ attempts to exploit xenia for his own gain â implicitly in Books 5-12 and more explicitly and maliciously in Books 13-22 â are missing in the film adaptation. I think thatâs in part because Christopher NolanâŠisnât interested in that side of Odysseus. He wanted the story of a tough tortured war hero finally returning home and repenting for his wrongs at war. He didnât like or focus on Odysseus the witty schemer, the master of tricks and lies. And Nolan certainly didnât want Odysseusâ return home to center on a blatantly bitter and violent, arguably unnecessary revenge ploy, as it did in the epic poem.
But the fact of the matter is that the last half of the original poem is Odysseus struggling to find an excuse to break xenia. He doesnât want to send the suitors peacefully home â which he at least nominally could. Thereâs a threat that they physically overpower him, but that requires the suitors to openly break xenia. Which thus far those who did by conspiring to kill Telemachus have done only in discreet ways, and many have not done at all.
Like, crucially, the original epic poem does introduce suitors who were more decent in their conduct, even if they did still eat Odysseusâ food and try to court his wife. Theyâre not all evil people who have to be killed for his own safety. Some would just fucking leave if they knew the king was in fact alive. Some would accept that since Odysseus is back to be King again, the Ithacan suitors should return to their houses and the foreign suitors return to their city-states. Some of them would respect xenia and make up for their wrongdoing. Thereâs a dichotomy when the suitors die â some, like Antinous, go down fighting and cursing Odysseus and Telemachus, but others try to apologize. They promise to repay the guest-gifts and food and charity they abused and respect xenia and go in peace. Odysseus tells them ânope, too late, die.â
I get why instead of the brutal slaughter of many men who beg for mercy, Nolan frames the final battle against the suitors as a desperate, almost losing struggle for Odysseus. But in the epic poemâŠitâs just him taking advantage of the fact he finally tricked them all into really breaking xenia, and taking revenge.
The entire epic poem was about xenia â not in the context of war, either.
The Telemachy is the first four books of the Odyssey, focused on how Odysseusâs son sees xenia exploited in his own home, but benefits from it immensely when welcomed as a guest in someone elseâs.
The Apologoi or Wanderings are books 5-12 (Calypso, the Phaeacians, Aeolus, Polyphemus, the Lotus-Eaters, the Lasteygones, Circe, and the Underworld) and see Odysseus arrive at foreign islands where he tries to exert xenia over and over again. He meets good foreigners who do exactly as they should, dangerous foreigners who instead respond with sinister temptation or outright violence, and people who arenât foreigners at all but divinities, and therefore arenât bound to mortal customs like xenia.
The Mnesterophonia or Murder of the Suitors is Books 13-24 â fully half of the Odyssey is Odysseus having already reached Ithaca, but now using xenia both to test peopleâs loyalty and morals, and to contrive an excuse to kill them if they fail to uphold the custom.
Given all thatâŠI think Christopher Nolan owed it to the Odyssey to learn the true meaning of xenia, and to at least try to depict it with the nuance it deserves.
Do you know what really gets my goat? So many problems with the Odyssey movie couldâve been solved if Christopher Nolan had the awareness or background knowledge to realize that both the Iliad and Aeneid are infinitely better suited to the story he wanted to tell and morals he wanted to focus on.
I get the desire for a story about war and what comes from it, to look at PTSD and trauma and how senseless such conflicts ultimately are. But in a very profound way, so did Homer. It's just that he explored those themes in the Iliad, not the Odyssey. That's why it focuses on both sides of the war, why Hector and Achilles are so often contrasted in their desires and actions â because it begs the question of what a hero, a general, a warrior, really is.
You want a story about the kind of atrocities men at war can commit? You want to cast Agamemnon as the villain? You want a protagonist who's big and strong and does awful things he must learn to regret? That's Achilles' story! Not Odysseus'!
Odysseus is wily. He's a trickster. He's a liar and schemer and talker and thinker. He's also a phenomenal fighter, sure, but that's nobody's first impression of him! His primary epithet is polutropos: literally a man of many turns, many tricks, many tongues.
And that's nowhere to be found in Nolan's Odyssey, which means...it's really not a story about Odysseus. He's not winning the day with wits and tricks and disguises â he's certainly not Athena's chosen champion. Nolan wrote a story about a completely different man than the titular protagonist of the original myth. That doesn't change just because he borrows a small handful events from the Apologoi and a few more from the Telemachy and Mnesterophonia with a completely protagonist and focus and moral.
But we all know Nolan loves his tortured, tragic, angsty powerful male heroes. And one of Homer's epics did contain that â it just wasn't the Odyssey! The Iliad would've worked so much better, because Achilles at his core is the kind of character Nolan likes to write. He's angry and scared of his own mortality and constantly worried about his own legacy and driven to do terrible things at war due to grief and love!
Nolan presents Odysseus' trick with the Trojan Horse as though it was some kind of Ancient War Crime, but the Greeks would not have given a shit and certainly wouldn't have considered it a violation of xenia (which the film incorrectly called "Zeus' Law" â more on that here).
But you know which Homeric protagonist did do something that the Greeks considered horrifying and a violation of honorable combat? Achilles! When he desecrated Hector's corpse because the guy had killed his lover and best friend.
Thereâs discourse (not just among modern academics, Platoâs Hippias Minor is too) about whether wits and tricks should be held as more respectable or valued than pure martial strength in Homerâs eyes â whether Odysseus or Achilles is the greater Homeric hero. Nolan's Odyssey claims to be about Odysseus, but its values clearly state that Achilles is the better hero and protagonist. This movie gave almost zero credit to tricks and wits and disguises and lies, instead focusing on his sense of duty towards his men, his martial strength, and his leadership.
The latter is notably distinctly missing from Odysseus' canonical journey; his relationships with his comrades (summachoi) are almost completely absent, because the Odyssey is instead a story about marriage, about partnerships between men and women. (Circe, Calypso, and Nausicaa are all notably love interests for Odysseus whom he rejects in favor of Penelope; the former two are too dominant and powerful, the latter too young and impressionable. The woman he loves is his equal partner â by Greek standards â Penelope.) But Nolan's misogyny means he was never going to correctly rate the significance of the female characters in the Odyssey correctly, which further hampers the film. He'd likely have done better with the Iliad, where Chryseis and Briseis simply have to cry beautifully and he can paint Helen as a bitch or whore and Andromache as the tragic wife, like he prefers.
And if Nolan really wanted to get into the horrors of war, the things men can do when convinced of their righteousness and their strength is unchallenged...Neoptolemus in the Aeneid would be a fantastic lens to view that through. The Iliad is the war itself, and I think Nolan would prefer the battles to their aftermath, but you can look at the trauma and abuse that occur at war through both the spear-wives of the Iliad and the entirety of the Aeneid.
You're allowed to think the film was fun, but it was not the Odyssey. Nolan wanted to tell any other Greek hero's story. Achilles, Neoptolemus, Agamemnon, but even Heracles, Theseus, or Jason would've worked infinitely better.
Something not talked about enough on Cacoyannis masterpiece "Iphigenia" (1977) in terms of costumes of the cast.
Notice how there are so many different styles of helmets down?
Arguably you hardly see some handfuls of people have similar helmets. The rest of it almost looks like some people grabbed helmets from random vestiary. Is this laziness? Budget?
In my opinion it is brilliance and some nice historical touch.
Not only did Cacoyannis bring up the sense that we have many different Greek cities of different fashions together but also shows simultaneously how back in the day military was not exactly what we think today. It is not that people in bronze age would have free equipment from the state. In a great number of cases the soldiers had to make and maintain their equipment themselves aka with their own expenses to hire someone to make it for them and then maintain it.
We can expect individuals going to the same armor blacksmith and ask for an armor so we can expect similarities with each other but at the same time some modifications or customizations might be expected depending on the economical state of each fellow. More economically privileged soldiers could afford more elaborate helmets or better armors or better weapons. The vast majority of foot soldiers were light armored compared to the elite that could afford a full set of armor or swords and shields. A large number of soldiers might as well fight with slings and stones opening the way for the armored warriors.
Cacoyannis does something that many big Hollywood adaptations do not do today.
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The Catalogue of Ships in the Iliad is, to a modern audiences, what classicists have called âboring as hell,â but I canât help but think that if you were watching Homer recite it it would have been more like when comedians go, âanybody here tonight from Chicago?â and the Chicagoans in the back start cheering
Homerâs like, âand there were forty black ships from⊠LOCRISâ and the Locrians in the crowd start going absolutely nuts
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The year is 1492. You are the Catholic Monarchs - both of them. Isabel and Fernando, tanto monta, monta tanto. You have just finished kicking all of the Muslim powers out of Iberia, and youâre feeling so pleased with yourselves that you expel the Jews about it. You have a problem, though - thereâs this annoying Genoese moron named Christopher Columbus who keeps waving some bad math at you, insisting that the world is actually smaller than everyone thinks it is and he could totally sail to India by going west. He gets on your nerves so much that you just give him a couple of ships and send him off. He definitely wonât make it to India, but maybe heâll find some little island and give all of your newly-unemployed hidalgos something to keep them busy. Heâll probably just starve to death in the middle of the ocean, and then heâs no longer your problem.
The year is still 1519 and you are Moctezuma II, HuÄyi TlahtoÄni (great ruler) of the âAztec Empire,â also known as the Triple Alliance, or the Mexica. You know a thing or two about half-measures not being rewarded, because you are in a process of rapidly expanding and consolidating a nascent Mesoamerican empire. You are quite good at your job - even before you ascended to the throne, you cultivated a reputation as a skilled warrior, a dedicated student, and a devout worshiper. Your name means something like âlord who frowns in anger.â Itâs a fitting name, because the process of âimperial expansion and consolidationâ generally involves killing lots of people. To make matters worse, some weird hairy white guys showed up out of nowhere and they keep demanding an audience with you. You try every trick in the diplomatic handbook - deferment, threats, flattery, bribes - but everything you do just seems to make them more single-mindedly focused on your destruction. Later, after you are dead, they will claim that you thought they were gods.
The year is 1545, and this whole âcolonialismâ thing is starting to peter out. Trans-Atlantic voyages are still ruinously expensive, and the pickings are getting slimmer every day - itâs not like you can go loot Tenochtitlan a second time. Youâre starting to wonder if itâs time for everyone to pack up, go home, and forget about⊠holy shit is that a mountain of silver? Is that an honest-to-god mountain with more silver in it than every other existing silver mine on the face of the earth combined? Yes. Some call it PotosĂ. Many will call it âthe mountain that eats men.â In a single moment, colonialism goes from a plundering campaign for recently-unemployed soldiers to a permanent institution. The alchemists back in Prague and Vienna never learned how to turn lead into gold, but the mercenaries and taskmasters in PotosĂ found a much simpler equation to turn blood into silver.
The year is 1571, and the economy of the Ming dynasty doesnât feel so good. Their experiment with paper money was a failure, to put it gently. It turns out when you try to have paper currency but you donât have sophisticated counterfeit protections and thereâs also a booming cottage industry of people making paper in their actual cottages, well, you can guess how that ends. So youâre trying to shift to a silver economy. But then you run into an even bigger problem: you donât have enough silver. So if you start demanding taxes in silver, the price of silver will skyrocket, which means taxes will skyrocket when the economy is already ailing from the whole âpaper moneyâ thing. Some hapless scholar-official in Guangdong is nervously watching a peasant sharpen his pitchfork when he gets word from a messenger: some gweilo just showed up at the port with literal shipfuls of silver and they want to buy silk, tea, spices, and porcelain at outrageous markups.
Within living memory, the world was still âmedievalâ in many ways - slow, parochial, zero-sum, carefully arbitrated by tradition and precedent. Legible. And now Spanish sailors take Bolivian silver on ships guarded by West African mercenaries and Japanese ronin, sailing to their colony in the Philippines to rub shoulders with Chinese officials, Indian sultans, and Malay merchants. All because some dipshit from Genoa got his math wrong and wouldnât shut up about it.
The moral of this story is that Iâm going insane.