Exit Pursued by a Cat

thanks I hate it

You Got a Friend In Horse 

YOU DO NOT HAVE A FRIEND IN HORSE

no i don’t want to watch that prestige television show full of legendary actors that won tons of awards. i’m fine with my lame mid-tier network television show that makes me mad

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

What are your pronouns and would you like to join my union

the reason sex scenes exist in fiction is because sometimes people have sex but also to find out what the characters are lying to everyone including themselves about by wrapping that agonising vulnerability in a treat like giving medicine to a dog

pouty frowny sleepy eddie diaz walking into his kitchen and then immediately just licking into his buck’s mouth as he steals that beautiful hot steamy cup of Their Shared Coffee from his best friend’s hand. best friend’s. that’s his best friend. and eddie just kissed him. it only takes him fifteen minutes to remember they’re not together and they’ve never kissed before. but now eddie’s in the shower and he’s just a man, so he might as well jerk off before he does anything about it