Hello, I am not intersex and I have a question.
I've been recently trying to add more intersex people into my writing, starting with making some of my already present OCs intersex, my OC B.
The reason I want to make her intersex is because part of her relationship with her boyfriend K is based on someone I know whose genitals formed in a way that makes pentration extremely painful (they don't actually know what it is except that its not vaginismus and it fucks up their periods bad, docs tell them it doesnt hurt THAT bad and 2 leave :/). B doesn't like her genitalia being touched like my friend, so I was thinking about making her intersex on top of that? I am tangentially aware that some intersex conditions create shallow painful vaginal openings that cannot be pentrated without pain, and I was hoping to add that to her character??
I dont know much about intersex stereotypes aside from "no one actually two fully functional sets of genitalia," so im a little worried about accidentally playing into stereotypes? Idk if not wanting to be touched is a stereotype, so I'd thought I'd ask.
Also, I've been using InterACT Intersex Variations Glossary, and im gonna be honest. I have no clue which variation would cause what im thinking of (if im on the right track for this character at all). Im thinking of CAIS bc I think a shorter vagina would likely make pentration painful. I am going to keep researching but if you had any suggestions that would be,, greatly appreciated 🙏
[BEGINNING OF SCREENSHOT]
Vaginal hypoplasia (which causes a shallower and thinner vaginal canal) and endometriosis, PCOS and fibroids could make penetration painful (dyspareunia) and not wanting any stimulation is very common for people who experience pain regarding penetration and other forms of stimulation!
The PAIS spectrum has been known to cause vaginal hypoplasia so that may be worth looking more into!!!
I definitely understand the worry of not wanting to play into stereotypes, I definitely recommend hi hello hans videos on how to write intersex characters on YouTube [link]!!!
To answer your question about this making B an "evil" intersex stereotype- not at all!! In media, we often see intersex women with HIGH testosterone (hyperandrogenism) get depicted as overly aggressive, masculine and generally toxic, but both because she has androgen insensitivity and because taking on more "traditionally masculine" roles, especially in a non-toxic, gender subversive way, is in no way portraying her to be evil or stereotypical, is completely okay!
So many intersex people *do* fit certain "stereotypes" (I, for one, have hyperandrogenism and identify as a butch, I tend to take on more "masculine" roles in my relationships as well) so even the meer existence of an intersex person performing gender in a way that has been done before, or in a queer way isn't inherently negative, it's all about approaching it in a nuanced and informed way!
One teeny note, however: due to B's androgen insensitivity, she may have a lower libido, but that's really up to you and how her sexuality works!! (Lots of people have low physical libidos while still having a high mental one! So in the case of B and K, especially because B doesn't like stimulation down there, it can absolutely work!)