brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man

one of my favorite tropes in chinese literature is when a guy’s wife is clearly a ghost/demon/fox fairy and he just can’t see it. i’m reading a story where this guy keeps getting arrested because his wife will just magically steal steal shit out of sealed boxes and give it to him as a present, and whenever someone is like dude i think something’s up with his wife he asks her and she’s like i’m literally normal. so he turns around and says yeah guys she’s literally normal

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

trauma dumpling

My toxic trait is that no matter what I need three hours to myself at the end of the day to do absolutely nothing.

happy pride to losers who get no bitches and stack no paper

do u ever miss your own energy. like damn what happened to me

idont remmeber what the rest of the post was going to say. use your impregnation i dont care

you get what i mean.

$0

I love you guys but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.

You’re right. We should all band together under a trustworthy and influential leader who can keep us safe from outside threats

[about to give you head] [doesn't know how to talk dirty at all] umm the huge cock store called they said they want this back