to be a deer in nara

sports are so stressful and for what. i’m not a gambler, i don’t know any of these people personally, why does my tummy hurt.

I dreamt that there was a new meme that went, “If I dids it, I dids it. If I didsn’t, I didsn’t.” There was a third line, but I forgot what it was.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THEY WERE CAT MEMES IN MY DREAM

THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE MEME FROM MY DREAM

very important people is so unhinged from the guest comedian's perspective. like you get an email from sam reich asking if you want to come play ??someone?? on a show. you don't know what you're getting into but you say yes because it's a gig and you've been promised some level of Fun. you get there and spend 2-3 hours in the makeup chair being actively lied to and gaslit by the costuming team. they spray shit in your mouth. they put shit in your eyes. you can't rotate your hips because of the prosthetics. then they give you a mirror and half an hour max to scramble for Something Funny before you are unceremoniously thrown into the waiting jaws of vic fucking michaelis, who is deep in character as the most haunted freak you've ever met and running on four shots of espresso three hours of sleep + a dream. and people still came back for season 2.