SORRY CAN'T TALK BOSS BATTLE

even people trying to commiserate with me complaining about the dumb responses assumed that it was just about sizing. and phrased it all like "you're so seen and valid". fucking christ.

"It's incredibly difficult and challenging using public bathrooms as a transgender woman and it should be obvious why if you have paid attention to anything ever"

"Girl I feel you, welcome to womanhood. sometimes the seats are gross or someone's left something on the floor, we all experience this, you're so valid for this"

(meanwhile I'm lucky if I'm not immediately stopped upon entering)

it's been nine years since then. every time i hear there's a young girl in a different stall of the changing rooms or bathroom i'm in, i become extremely aware of myself. if my friends ask a question, can i answer with my (deep) voice? if someone sees my unshaven ankles under the stall door, what will they think? what happens if i step out as the same time as the girl and her mom?

it's been a while since someone has directly hidden their child from me because they clocked that i'm a trans woman. but that has happened and i'm not likely to forget it. it takes very little for a trans woman simply living a woman's life to become seen as a hostile invader with intent to assault a child, and for the room to immediately side against her.

when i was used to going to the bathroom as a group, it was not mostly because that's the cute girlhood thing to do. it was to have cis women who could vouch for my womanhood and defend me rhetorically or physically if needed. i do not think they quite understood. that era is in the past now but the problems are never far in my life and very present in many others.

1) Set off your smoke alarm or play the sound on your phone (if your home has no smoke alarms, pease get some!)

2) stand BY THE FRONT DOOR to hand out treats

Do this a couple times and then keep it up NO EXCEPTIONS. Accidentally set the alarm off cooking? Treats by the door. Smoke alarm sound on TV? Treats by the door. Changing your smoke alarm batteries twice a year like you’re supposed to? Give them a test run and your pets get treats by the door.

Most dogs and cats will clue in VERY quickly that hearing that specific sound means go to the front door and wait for treats.

If there’s an emergency and even if you leave by another way, you will still know the most likely place your pet(s) is and can direct first responders to help.

Have you guys seen that clip

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"