White Noise

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

this is in no way a slam on hardcore hiking, it’s very fun, but i mostly just need to lower people’s expectations when i say hiking is a hobby of mine

"No no, that's ranger hiking. I like hobbit hiking."

#you gotta be more specific man#Hobbits are specifically famous for two Really Long Walks

Long Walks Georgs were outliers adn should not have been counted

ⓘ Tip: while sewing, you can unlock scary sewing by losing your needle somewhere on your bed.

childaborting hips

if I ever tell you “lmk what you think if you read/play/watch it!” I am firmly inviting you to send me a play by play minute by minute cataloguing of your thoughts about The Thing