ponk: “no it’s not your house! it’s my house! but it’s not located by where your house is, don’t worry.”
sam: “okay. well it’d be okay if it was located where my house is.”
ponk: “tubbo’s expensive and he’s scary to approach!”
[asked sam for legal advice, wants sam to be the only person on the jury so that he can win, sam is unsure because he knows the jury is supposed to be unbiased]
ponk: “okay, over the mountain! and then there’s another mountain that we have to climb. and then there’s a… there’s a, there’s a mental mountain as well, but we can’t get to through that yet, alright? i still need time.”
ponk: “sam, what do you think of a big tree here?”
ponk: “i said it with chest. and y’know what? i would’ve said it with both my hands above my head, but i can’t! i cant for some reason sam! i cant!”
sam: “well… that’s kinda on you. i told you to give them to me and you wouldn’t.”
ponk: “okay, okay. alright! play the moral high ground! play it!”
sam: “no, not really moral high ground. i’m just trying to remind you there was a reason.”
ponk: “just so you know, just so you know. you can come to me, after… after everything. i will still support you sam! okay?”
ponk: “you’ll have a place to stay. because… all the wrong you’ve done is gonna catch up behind you, you know? all the wrong you’ve done.”
sam: “i haven’t really done anything wrong.”
ponk: “haven’t you? haven’t you?”
sam: “no. i think i’m a good guy.”
ponk: “you think you’re a good person?”
sam: “i don’t know, you don’t think i’m a good person?”
ponk: “i— i mean… my opinions are biased. lowkey. alright?”
ponk: “why’ve you got a sword out?!”
sam: “it’s just the first thing in my hotbar.”
ponk (backing away): “so that’s the first thing your mind mind goes to? a sword?”
sam (sadly): “well it’s just the first thing in my hotbar.”
ponk: “it was great. it was good days! good days.”
sam: “back in the good old days.”
ponk: “and it all changed—“
sam (excitedly): “when the fire nation attacked?”
ponk: “when the fire na— no. no. when the shears attacked, sam! when the shears attacked.”
ponk: “but sam, if someone— if someone you cared about didn’t trust you, but then you built them a massive gift, to prove your trust, and to make— make them trust you again, right sam? right? for only… someone, who’s already destroyed… a graveyard, to get— to get at me, right? destroys it, completely, you know? completely destroyed. what would you do? would you be mad?”
sam: “i would be frustrated.”
ponk: “frustrated? but… in what sense.”
sam: “maybe mad. i dunno. look, i have a random crossbow from one of those guys that we killed.”
ponk: “you said that so casually!”
sam: “well we did kill those guys you know.”
ponk: “life is precious you know! life is precious.”
ponk: “sam! so tell me about this bank my friend!”
ponk: “tell me— tell me about it! i wanna know the history. you know?”
sam: “well it’s a bank. that i’m building.”
ponk: “do you need any workers? i’m free to work.”
sam: “well… well if you had told me you wanted to work earlier maybe but i already hired hannah.”
ponk: “yeah but hannah needs an assistant. and id love to assist hannah!”
ponk: “the prison does look good, but it doesn’t look inviting, does it? it’s scary! it’s— ‘stay away—‘“
sam: “doesn’t that just mean that i did my job building it, right? i mean the whole point is to keep people away, right?”
ponk (quietly): “…right.”
sam (jumping in front of ponk and takes an arrow that was coming towards him): “i caught it!”
ponk (laughing): “you saved me!”
sam: “i saved you, i saved you!”
ponk: “technoblade… i haven’t seen him in a while.”
ponk: “whats he doing? is he overthrowing governments in a far-off land?”
sam: “i’m sure that’s what he’s doing, yeah. haven’t heard from him in a while.”
ponk: “y’know he killed me with a pickaxe once?”
sam: “that was pretty messed up of him, wasn’t it?”
ponk: “yeah, he bonked me on the head. blood everywhere, sam.”
ponk (trading his redstone to sam): “actually, how much for my arm back?”
sam: “…i destroyed that.”
sam: “you wanted me to keep your arm?”
ponk: “at least put it in like an icebox or something!”
sam: “well it was kinda mangled and destroyed i mean…”
sam (laughing): “you weren’t reattaching it to say the least, i used a pair of shears to cut it off i mean—“
ponk: “right! right! i’m— i’m— i’m not mad at all! it’s okay! it’s okay.”
ponk: “you know the law of the lands! you seem like— you don’t care, do you?”
sam: “i am the law of the land. i’m the warden.”
ponk (mockingly): “ooh, sorry! sorry!”
