Rada, Good Omens digger

It’s been 8 days now and since then a lot of good points have been made regarding an oodle of plotholes and inconsistencies, so I won’t be focusing much on every one of them. It’s also been 8 days of real grief for me, and I found myself thinking, why am I so devastated? Why can’t I move on? Because it seems like an easy thing to do – the mess is so big it can as well just be ignored. 

Here’s what bothers me: the characters who chose that ending were not Aziraphale and Crowley. 

And I don’t mean any hidden clues here, any searching for meaning in parallel universes. The characters we saw in the finale were just so incredibly mischaracterized it feels personal. Yes, of course, I am a mere ficwriter and don’t claim to know them as if they were my own characters. But still, I spent years meticulously trying to understand their personalities and motivations, unlike, it seems, whoever it was that wrote that script.

On May 13, I got seated, jittery and prepared for the end of an era. But the very first scene, the Great War over a plot device called the Eternal Flame, instantly got me saying ‘I don’t like this’. The Aziraphale I saw there, let alone Crowley, acted in a way that filled me with unease. I had an uncanny feeling that I was watching some other show, so little it had to do with Good Omens, aside from the actors. I have to say, that feeling of unrealness stayed with me throughout the episode’s entirety. But in those opening moments, what I felt especially acutely was that this retcon of their early relationship was absolutely wrong. 

Of course, it was somewhat retconned in season 2 with the Before the Beginning sequence, where Aziraphale introduces himself to the starmaker, in contradiction to their original first meeting in the Garden of Eden. The way they both act on the wall in Eden is undoubtedly written like a very first meeting. So that scene in season 2 was already questionable, but everything that was questionable in season 2, at least to me, left the benefit of the doubt because of the possibility of a future explanation in the finale. 

Said finale does the opposite, making the magical dynamic between Crowley and Aziraphale even more eyebrow-raising. And it becomes really frustrating when near the end it turns out that the Great War scene is there for one reason – backwards writing. 

To arrive at a certain point in a story, one needs to establish cause and effect. And this is why Good Omens 3 fails as a story – all plotlines leading to the (very trendy) universe reset are frantically installed during the film (one would think that this butchered script might’ve even been fed to AI). Somehow, Palpatine returned. Somehow, the Book of Life (Plot Device Number 1), ermmm… needs to be… stolen? But hmmmm… we need someone to do the reset, and everyone loves these two characters – Aziraphale and Crowley, soooooo… let’s have Plot Device Number 2 (Eternal Flame) be the instrument of destruction of the Plot Device Number 1 so that the Beloved Characters can arrive at the reset situation with Plot Device Number 0 (God). 

The problem is, in order to make Aziraphale and Crowley arrive at that situation, one has to get them there through making several decisions. And these decisions are not the decisions that the priorly established Aziraphale and Crowley would make. I don’t just mean deciding to reset the universe, I mean basically every move they make. 

I think it’s safe to say everyone was eager to see Aziraphale’s motivation for leaving at the end of season 2 explored in depth in the finale. Not only we didn’t get it, but we can also see him having regressed from all his previous character development, which he’d had plenty in both seasons, but mostly in season 1 – going from dogmatism to accepting his free will (yes, they both had free will all along. As did other angels, like Gabriel, and demons, like Beelzebub, and humans. Which was the whole point of the story). The faces he makes at the mention of Crowley, the way he behaves when he asks for Crowley’s help, the fact that he never shows that he realizes what exactly he did wrong, demanding Crowley’s forgiveness in order to brush their conflict off and move on to what the plot requires them to do, and ultimately speaking of Crowley as an angel, who he’s long ceased to be and never wanted to become again. This is not Aziraphale. Aziraphale is stubborn but kind, and no matter how badly he parted with Crowley in the final 15, he wouldn’t stop caring, wouldn’t neglect to check on Crowley in years, knowing the state he was in. This is not the angel who made a point out of discovering Crowley’s holy water heist and brought it to him just because he was worried for Crowley’s life. And at the core of it all, in spite of all his pro forma ‘you’re a demon’ remarks, Aziraphale loved Crowley for Crowley, not for his angelic past. 

Crowley’s portrayal is not much better. Sure, many of us wanted to see his heartbreak, I did too, but the way it’s executed would be laughable if laughing at funerals was a thing people wanted to do. Backwards writing being, we need drama, so let’s make him homeless through ummm… losing his Bentley! And, somehow (Palpatine wink) his miracles! All that in order for him to be too drunk to realize it’s Jesus talking to him. And this is his excuse for missing Jesus – oops, I was too drunk. An ancient demon of his cunning, the original tempter, missed the key figure because he was drunk. Like just some guy. How very plausible. 

Naturally, I have to remind everyone that Crowley is an optimist with an unlimited imagination and always, always slithered his way out of any pear-shaped situation. Let’s not forget that he was the one to propose averting Armageddon and insist on doing that despite Aziraphale’s initial objections. And it worked! Worked because humanity has free will. And you’re telling me I have to buy him saying, yeah nah, let’s restart it all cause there is no other way? For Crowley, there is always another way. There’s no way he would give up and doom the entire universe and the love of his extremely long life to destruction (“You’ve got to keep testing people. But not to destruction.” – Crowley’s quote from the chapter ‘Eleven Years Ago’). 

I saved the part that hurts me the most for the last. And I think this is the reason why it hit me so hard and isn’t letting me be. 

I can see no love between Aziraphale and Crowley in the finale. It is spoken of by a third party, in a mocking way no less, it is implied through some guys played by David Tennant and Michael Sheen who were married for 20 years off screen, but it’s just not in the story anymore. It was there in season 1. It was there in season 2. The chemistry between them was insane, with their infinite push and pull, their being so similar despite belonging to different factions. They were so compelling because they were an impossible pair of an angel and a demon. These characters shaped each other, in the world that they loved so much and that wasn’t easy to live in, but it was theirs. To the world, they say proudly, with deepest affection, in such a fitting ending in season 1. Their so-called decision in the finale is not what they are. To arrive at this decision, the writers turned them into Plot Device Number 3, now without any chemistry whatsoever, the shells of their former glorious selves that I, and I’m sure most of us, loved so much in the previous installments. For their love for each other and their love for the imperfect but wonderful world that was their home. 

"Oh yes, Professor Crowley, I have just the book for you. 🤭"

that's probably untrue because I also seem to have written a whole fanfic just to retcon it.

I don't consider this a fix-it fic, it's more of a I DARE YOU TO PROVE THIS DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN fic.

So here you go, spoilers under the cut:

"I don't accept that."

If the fandom didn't decide that if Crowley thinks it's not really a threat then maybe we would have been more scared for Aziraphale who Michael was gleefully going to erase for helping Gabriel and wonder why Crowley was so nonchalant when the whole Michael/Metatron power play over Aziraphale's fate went on but I digress.

Would it have been so hard to give us something like this? Give them this one, small moment to express their love for each other?

Don’t get me wrong, I kind of grew fond of the hand kiss gesture. But in the Bookshop Garden, when they had privacy - probably for the first time ever - I really grieve a heartfelt conversation; about the things they did wrong, about their affection, about their options. About the reasons why they decided to choose humanity over their own happiness *sigh*

That's the beauty of they relation. They learnt to love who they are and who they become out of their label. They love each other for who they are inside.

And so making human Anthony look like his angel self is heartbreaking bc its not the personne nore the personality Aziraphale end up falling for. (Yeah no, i don't buy the love at first sigh as angels things. I like seeing their love grow)

And also the fact that at then end Aziraphale is all over how Crowley was the best angel. At first i find it cute but as I think about it. It's still putting a label on him. He should have said he was the best being of the universe.

Aziraphale: "Right here, bitch!"

I know we only had 1 episode and whole plotlines were scrapped but I was just left feeling so empty after the finale given how powerful and moving and profound the themes of season 1/the book were. So buckle up for a long ride let's talk about it

Theme 1: Human Incarnate

The book and the show established that humanity is unique because it is neither purely good or purely bad. From the book: "Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people." This Aziraphale describes as "much better" than either Heaven or Hell

This is one of my favorite sequences in the whole show. And the music is soaring and gorgeous. Adam recalls the things in his life he has come to know and love; his parents, his friends, his dog, his home. He makes it have nice weather all year. Aziraphale could feel that love at the Tadfield Manor. Heaven and Hell tried to create an instrument of destruction. But by putting that inside a human boy, they didn't realize the strength of one boy's love would be strong enough to literally burn the hell out of him. He told Satan himself to shove it and rewrote reality to have the dad he truly loved. The power of humanity's love is stronger than any immortal power could ever be.

This is the idea that would have been so cool for the finale but unfortunately never paid off. As the second coming prepares to destroy Earth again, Aziraphale and Crowley could have teamed up with the power of humanity to reshape heaven and hell for good. Adam and Jesus as the antichrist and christ born to end the world and instead used their humanity to save it. Instead we got the book-of-life arc and humans were literally left to dust

Theme 2: Free Will

Next good omens establishes that angels and demons are just puppets but humans are the ones with real free will because they have the ability to be good or bad. Even with heaven and hell, the humans on Earth always have a choice. In season 2, they agree on this, but Crowley's main grievance is the inequity of it all. Humans have free will but it still isn't fair.

God made angels and demons and humans but the humans never had to follow her 'plan.' Free will and the ability to recognize what is truly right outside the propaganda of good vs evil is what saves the world.

Humans always had free will, even if God was around to kill a bunch of them with floods or take their stuff to win bets or something. Creating a new universe without God wouldn't change that. They would still have free will, just less threats from above/below, I guess. What Crowley's established character really should have wanted here was to fix the inequity inherent in human society. That's what is truly holding them back, not a lack of will. Removing God from the universe doesn't actually solve the root problem here

Theme 3: Our Own Side

This is something Crowley learned very early and spends the whole show trying to teach Aziraphale. That good must be separated from heaven and bad must be separated from hell.

Heaven can do some truly appalling horrors and demons, at least Crowley (and somewhat Beelzebub I guess) have the potential to be kind. 'Their own side' is one where they have the freedom of humanity, to do what is truly right. Aziraphale and Crowley sort of found their way there in the finale, but it was all rushed and Aziraphale never really turned his back on heaven, it sort of just became irrelevant when everything started disappearing. What a beautifully flawed and nice world they could have created together

Theme 4: Love Conquers all

What was it all for? Love. God made Aziraphale and Crowley for each other because she liked to smile at the silliness of their love. The literal only constant in the entire universe. Their love for the world and each other saved it. I think the decision to turn Aziraphale and Crowley's queer love story into a tragedy was the biggest mistake of seasons 2/3. Forcing the soft and romantic comedy of good omens into a queer tragedy was the instant it all crashed and burned. Now everything is tainted leading up to the pain and destruction of it all and the whimsy and lightness is gone. There were moments of it, but it was all leading toward the end. And queer love deserves to not be a tragedy. We have far too much tragic queer love in our society. Yes we got the south downs, but Aziraphale and Crowley never got to experience that freedom. They finally came together just to instantly be destroyed. We deserve happy and fulfilling queer love that is sweet without the bitter parts. Good omens was intended to be a comedy, not a tragedy

And then this was SUCH A COOL IDEA they introduced. Perhaps the first time ever an angel and a demon performed a miracle together. The power of their love could create magic stronger than anything heaven or hell had ever seen. I was so excited to see the wonders they were going to create, they ways in which they could have rebuilt the world better using that love. If they had this kind of power doing a tiny miracle, what could they have accomplished if they really put their minds to it? God herself couldn't have stopped them. And instead, the finale literally revoked Crowley's magic for the entire episode. They sacrifice themselves for a new earth and people that didn’t even exist yet instead of using any of their power to change it. The god awful execution of this theme is probably the biggest letdown of the entire finale imo

Theme 5: Fix It, Don't Replace It

This is so obviously established in seasons 1/2 I cannot believe how badly they missed the mark with this one

Literally shows us the horror of replacing the Earth with all new people. Even children can recognize that just because something is broken, it doesn't mean you throw it away and start all over. They loved the world enough to want to save it. The world is inherently worth saving, flaws and all. If you love something, you don't abandon it. The ENTIRE PLOT of season 1 explores the horrors of humanity and yet humans, Aziraphale and Crowley do everything in their power to save it.

It absolutely blows my mind how directly this scene contradicts the entire message of the finale. Job didn't want new children, he quite liked the old ones. Aziraphale and Crowley didn't want the antichrist's new Earth, they quite liked the old one. We didn't want new human versions of Aziraphale and Crowley, we QUITE LIKED THE OLD ONES. Where the hell did that mentality go when they told God to create an entirely new universe????????????? Season 1 said the world is flawed but it deserves saving exactly as it is. Season 1 said an angel and a demon go off to the ritz together, exactly as they are. The finale said the world is too broken, we have to make it disappear and start over. The finale said Aziraphale and Crowley have too many issues/traumas to be happy, we have to destroy them and start over. That's why as cute as Asa and Anthony's love is, we quite liked them exactly as they were, angel/demon trauma + history and all. They deserved saving too.

They wrote their own story.

✨️some thoughts under the cut, feel free to ignore it and just enjoy the picture✨️

Can you spot Aziraphale and Crowley in every universe? Here, I’ll help you…