rabbit

"tests inconclusive, we will simply have to play with them a little more (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)"

The gaming will continue until our understanding of rat morale improves

All twelve sacred beasts will defend me from economic uncertainty

OK I'm in the pussy 👍. Now what

Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

we make a lot of jokes here on tumblr dot com but at the end of the day i still fundamentally want monster parts that science can't give me

Wrestling interviews where they don’t break kayfabe are so funny because it’ll just be like normal sports interview shit until the guy is like well when my buddy Blade Daniels accepted the dark crystal into his heart I thought it was all over

I will 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔠𝔱 my mutuals from everything. from the cold. from the five nights at freddys. you will be safe just get behind me

constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how he’s next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasn’t killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.

I keep sending them off on “boar hunts” together and wouldn’t you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!