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i want to do a transformation tuesday but alas i am still ugly

dicks out for the guy who climbed trump tower

keep your dicks in check he was a trump supporter

fuck alright everyone zip em up false alarm

why do trump supporters say they like trump cause he ‘says whats on his mind’… like no shit man, i have people in my tumblr inbox who say whats on their mind all the time. i had a guy send me a message that said “vape on my dick”. thats whats on their mind and they said it. i’m not like “oh man… dude… lead us…”

THERE’S A GUY SCALING THE TRUMP TOWER IN NYC WITH GIANT SUCTION CUPS LIKE A MISSION IMPOSSIBLE STUNT AND IM LAUGHING

UPDATE: OKAY SO police are all over and they sent a window washer platform down from the top of the building but it was too far above him so then sent it back up and police just shattered a window slightly above him to try to get him and now he’s moving away from the hole in the window and continuing up he’s been climbing for like an hour now and they cant figure out how to get him down this is so incredible

UPDATE: they just inflated a giant inflatable on 56th street a third of nyc is in gridlock bc of this guy climbing the trump tower i cannOT BELIEVE

UPDATE: he’s on the 18th floor this so surreal

UPDATE: we’re approaching hour 2 of the climb and since the last update he’s made it up at least another 3 floors

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.