weeoowwewoo

Apple announces new indistinct wet pile emoji

I can distinct it

Don’t even try…

boyfriend says I have to post something festive for christmas, so just sharing that one time he got his English mixed up when seeing Santa in a shopping mall and he shouted at the top of his lungs "oh!!! whore whore whore!!!"

this is a common occurrence, yesterday he asked me why a cushion said "fuck it till you make it" and a nearby store assistant nearly wound up on the floor she was laughing so hard

Tonight's alltimer was "the alarm went off at work so everyone had to ejaculate"

reading a textbook for class and i’m going insane. why is this just poetry. what. this is a STEM class what’s going on.

i think there is something missing within me that everyone else has

transition timeline but about halfway through im inexplicably a cackling green witch for a few months before continuing as normal

show me another funny picture im not driving tonight

charismatic but in the sense that being an absolute freak does interest & compel people

like hey. What’s up with this guy then

Which is the glitch????

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

finally someone said it

tbh i love hear me outs but i also love the opposite of hear me outs where it’s like nearly everyone thinks they’re fuckable except you

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

bald guy wearing a bald cap. Do we know why?

Covering blowhole