Whole Bitch

Note: this is not ferret abuse, they really do enjoy being carried like sacks of potatos.

As a ferret owner I can confirm that my three ferrets do not give a single fuck about being held like that. A ferret WILL let you know if it doesn’t like how you’re holding it. But they like being turned into potato sacks for some reason.

Yeah ferrets get super limp sometimes when you hold them, plus they have a flexible spine and ribs, it doesn’t bother them a bit. They are just loose sacks of meat and kleptomania. 

When people ask me what my favorite song is im just like??? can you be more specific??? favorite right now??? most listened to??? top 10??? what i listen to at different times??? what i listen to when im sad?? when im happy??? be more specific goddammit 

Seriously tho as someone who put literal years of effort into creating a Wikipedia hoax it’s basically impossible to get away with for more than like an hour. They’re fucking vigilant. I tried to build up trust by doing legit editing but my account got reviewed cause I approved a page that mismeasured the size of a ship by a few centimeters

I don’t know if anyone needs to hear this but “we all respond to trauma in different ways, not just pretty palatable ways” and “we are accountable for our own actions, even actions born from trauma” are not contradictory statements

no wonder everyone in the seventies was off the shits. can you imagine living in a time when abba was releasing music? imagine turning on the radio and hearing ABBA’S NEW SONG. i wouldn’t know what to do with myself

best modern family scene ever

It’s like one of those tumblr posts that just can’t catch a break

it drives me crazy how humans are just meant to hold each other. how come when you hold someone's hand, your fingers just perfectly lock with theirs? how is it that when you hug someone, your face fits just right in the crook of their neck? how can your hands cup someone's face like that's their only primary function? it cannot be coincidence that our bodies are fully capable of holding another... we were designed to love

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

This was like reading a Lemony Snicketts book.

The worst trick a childhood anxiety disorder pulls is, you spend your early years being applauded for being so much more mature than your peers, because you aren’t disruptive, you don’t want any kind of attention, you don’t express yourself, you keep yourself to yourself - this makes you a pleasure to have in class, etc etc - and you start to believe it’s virtue. But you’re actually way behind your peers in normal social development, and who knows if you can ever catch up.

Never heard a truer thing in my life.

holy shit wait you mean being just morbidly terrified of doing anything wrong ISN’T necessarily the same as being “well behaved?!”

Convenient children =/= healthy children

Convenient children do not equal healthy children

and these same behaviors that are apparently so convenient for the people around you when you are a child, become extremely inconvenient for the people around you when you are an adult.