PARTY FOR QUOKKAS

"men are always like—"

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

Deus ex Moffat was just constant. The Pandorica should have been amazing, but it was already tired. I wasn't interested anymore, because it was just going to be another power creep for the Doctor to just be the center of the universe.

When I started watching (yes, with Eccleston, shut up), the Doctor was just a very, very smart guy who could finesse his way out of problems an Earthling/Terran could not, usually with the help of the friends he made. I had Rose, I had Martha, I had Mickey, I had fucking Jackie, and I had the goddess herself, DONNA. These were all people who never had some bizarre destiny to solve the universe, they were just some people the Doctor met and happened to vibe with.

Cut to the Moffat era, Clara is the lynchpin in some mystical war because the Doctor is the best thing ever to exist in the history of ever and Amy actually holds the secrets of making the Doctor into an actual god and what the hell is this?

I didn't want to watch the Capaldi era, which is fucking tragic. Peter Capaldi is an amazing performer, he is an excellent Doctor, and his writing was the absolute bottom of the barrel. Moffat was so out of things to do because he was so wrapped up in his own mythology that he didn't care if the plots he wrote fit the characters he was using. I watched as much as I could, but goddamn, was that disappointing. I gave up.

Then Moffat finally, FINALLY, left. And I gave it a shot.

And I got Whittaker. And I loved her. And I loved it. I loved every minute of that awkward as fuck time on the show, because it wasn't fucking MOFFAT. It wasn't perfect, but it stopped that stupid "center of the universe" narrative in a big way. Whittaker was a wonderful Doctor. No, Chibnall didn't fit the rest of the series well, but at least it was DIFFERENT after that absolute slog of Moffat mess.

Then we had the loss of Whittaker and the return of 10. And more importantly, for me, DONNA. Donna, the selfish woman who was just raised that way. Donna, the selfish woman who couldn't be selfish anymore after seeing just one day of how her actions effect other people. Donna, who toured the universe, constantly dunking on herself as "stupid" and "not important". Donna, who would do ANYTHING to help someone she saw in pain, including a 20 foot spider ("you can STOP now"). Donna, who even with her mind completely wiped, still can't just stand by anymore. Tanget. Sorry.

I fell back in love with the return of Donna, and the advent of Gatwa as the Doctor. And I LOVE him. He's perfect to me. Everything I ever wanted the Doctor to be. Accepting but critical, warm but snarky, hyper but always listening.

This is the show I signed up for back with Eccleston and Davies.

Those messenger screen names that haven’t logged on in ages, some before detailed profiles were a thing on those services.

Those emails that are long since abandoned, some with domains that no longer exist.

Those online friends you knew years ago and who then helped shaped you in some way, who you just can’t FIND anymore.

Those people who once were, and hopefully still exist IRL, that seem to have no known internet life anymore.

And those who have actually passed on, and their online lives are now a memorial to them.

I got a part in The Fantasticks, and I couldn’t WAIT to log on and tell her, since she’d been in that show. And we talked every day!

But she didn’t come online then. Or the day after that, or months, years now. I never heard from her again. She disappeared as if she never was. And I didnt have her last name so I couldnt even fb search when fb became a thing.

Maybe she dies. It’s the worst case scenario.

Maybe her parents took her off the internet, parents back then were paranoid about internet friendships.

But no way of ever knowing. Anne disappeared. I hope she’s still alive. I hope she performed in many musicals and danced and sang, and I hope her photos found their way to…galleries, or wherever photos go.