Rarely Here

Hello dont plan to post much but thought short intro would be nice :)

Maybe call me Noon?

Have autism, am categorized as severly disabled by government, but prefer say am medium support needs, feel like that fits me more.

Am early twenties and love all cute things, especially love cute games.

Im very limited in communication, cant speak. sometimes able to say sounds resembling words, communicate with mixture of sounds, signs, writing and AAC device.

Forming sentences and using correct grammar is often hard, sometimes able to.

Love reading other peoples experience with autism and moderate or High support needs.

Very very hard time with talking to people, always try my best be nice do everything right, but sometimes unable to respond or interact. Is never with bad intentions never personal. Sometimes get too anxious scared overwhelmed.

If ever say a wrong thing, please tell me!

sign language is its own language and if the struggle is only with using mouth then it can be helpful, but if expressive language as a whole is impacted then sign language can also be hard.

cant speak for others, but for me expressive language in general is very hard and AAC device works much better for me than sign language.

plus struggle to read peoples facial expressions and make the right ones myself, and thats really important in sign language.

i really struggle to make the movements correct and end up signing some words that dont actually mean. mom says its like mumbling but sign language.

also get confused by similar looking signs. and when first learned signs got taught a local simplified version and still use those for some words.

in many situations will use 'home signs' that only carers can understand.

because of that and more, the only people that really understand my mix of signs are carers and close family, people that know signs language often cant understand me and i cant understand them.

i keep trying to learn more and better correct sign but is unlikely will ever be truly fluent.

April 21st: Do you have trouble keeping up with personal hygiene? Bathing, brushing your teeth, flossing, etc? Is it because of sensory reasons? Is there anything you've found helps with this?

Answer: personal hygiene is something where carers help a lot and i have many ways to make it easier.

April 19th: Talk about speech. Are you nonverbal? Do you use AAC? What is it like if you are? If not, do you have trouble controlling the tone of your voice? Do people often misread you based on your tone (thinking you're angry when you're not for example)? Do you have trouble controlling the volume of your voice, especially when excited about something? Do you tend to speak in a monotone?

Answer: am nonverbal, cant speak at all. main ways to communicate are AAC device, writing and some signs (but struggle to do them right and mix home signs with locally used easy versions of signs and sign language, so mostly only carers understand them)

wasnt always nonverbal, fully lost speech over a year ago (in late teens early adulthood lost many skills, likely experienced late regression) and then got diagnosed expressive language disorder. so many doctor appointments and brain scan and assessments and no cause was found, doctors assume is 'just' autism.

April 6th: Do you feel that autism affects the way that you view/interact with media? In what ways? Talk about it.

Answer: it affects it a lot, i struggle a lot to watch new things or things not related to interests, even if really want to watch them. often is just too much new input.

sometimes will be able enjoy new things, mostly watch with family and they dont mind if need a break to process something.

also have few comfort shows will rewatch a lot and when really overwhelmed carers often watch with me kid show used to love as a child, know all the episodes and story always follows same structure so doesnt feel overwhelming but still distracts from feeling bad.

April 7th: Talk about autistic characters in media. What are your favorite canon autistic characters? Are there any characters that you view as autistic, that aren't officially so? What about them makes you think they are autistic? How do you relate to them? What would you like to see in autistic characters in the future?

Answer: love love love attourney woo! is probably my most favorite autistic character ever. also love renee from loop.

April 4th: Talk about online social interaction. Do you feel that being able to interact with others online, such as on social media, has been a positive or negative thing for you? Do you think its easier, harder, about the same as in person communication?

Answer: online direct interaction thats not just commenting or answering questions is very rare for me, often feels very overwhelming.

overall think online and in real life both really difficult, but online more.

in real life am with carers and people can easier tell am disabled and that can make them more considerate or understanding if struggle.

in past online had bad people try take advantage of me.

April 1st: What age did you find out you were autistic? If you have a diagnosis, what was the diagnosis process like, if you can remember it?

Answer: found out in early teens when got diagnosed. already struggled for many years but got so bad had to go to mental hospital and doctor there diagnosed me.

might make longer post when have energy but wanted to share good news!

since beginning of month been going 4 days a week to day centre! for now are only trying it out but has been good so far!

day centre has become safe place for me and am so so happy! didnt think ever could happen but it did! care workers there said did so great managed really well and think so too!

like, am aware am disabled, am aware that own live is different from people my age without disability. But sometimes is just sad moment of really understanding what that mean.

so so much grief about not be able do things people my age do, so upset about every missed experience.

Going to parties, attending school and then university, going out late with friends, getting a drivers license, getting own apartment, doing job i dreamed of doing since was a little kid.

or even small things like going somewhere on own or making my favorite food or washing my hair when i want to, not having to wait until carer has time to do it for me.

all that and much more not possible.

most of the time am fine with my life, am content.