Queer LDS Heroes of the 2010′s
Over the decade of the 2010′s there’s been an enormous shift in the attitude of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the USA regarding LGBTQ individuals. That change took place largely in spite of the top leadership.
On January 1, 2010 there wasn’t big expectations that such a shift would occur on LGBTQ topics. There hadn’t been much change over the recent decades and the Church was just coming off a win in getting Prop 8 passed in California.
The experience of the Church from the Prop 8 fight was important. The Church had won the battle but lost the war of public opinion. The Church and its members had become synonymous with homophobia. The Church and the membership were no longer eager to pursue bold public actions against LGBTQIA progress. The Church changed to take a more behind-the-scenes quiet approach and many members regretted their participation and support of that measure.
The change in attitude among members is partially explained by the larger society in which these members live, but credit also goes to queer individuals who shared their stories and members who became allies & publicly supported LGBTQ people. Hearing our actual stories in our own voice rather than being told what to think about us makes a huge difference.
Below is a list of significant moments from the decade with the heroes highlighted. Some of these individuals are very flawed and it’s easy to have mixed feelings about them, but they came forward and shared their voice at risk to themselves or with great cost. I also included some significant Church statements & actions on LGBTQIA topics during this time, It’s interesting to contrast these with what was going on in the LDS culture. We truly live in an age of LDS LGBTQ heroes!
(I did not include those who died by suicide, even though some of those deaths received a lot of attention. While I honor those individuals, I don’t want to appear to celebrate that they are no longer with us nor suggest it’s a good tactic)
USGA, a queer-straight alliance, begins meeting on the BYU campus
BYU’s Daily Universe newspaper prints student Cary Crall’s letter to the editor. The letter expressed support that a court overturned California’s Prop 8. This is notable because the newspaper later removed the letter from even the online archive of the paper, which that level of censorship at an academic institution received national scrutiny.
Keith McMullin of the Presiding Bishopric says people shouldn’t refer to themselves as homosexual, lesbian, or gay, and that same-gender attraction won’t exist after death
In General Conference, Elder Packer says that God would not let people be born with same-sex attractions and these feelings can be overcome. His remarks led to a protest of thousands around Temple Square.
Bradley Carmack, a BYU law student, published Homosexuality: A Straight BYU Student’s Perspective in which he argues in favor of same-sex marriage. Bradley’s book was seen by a few school officials before publishing and they threatened to expel him from BYU, so he changed the ending of his work to leave the conclusions up to the reader.
BYU’s Honor Code was updated to remove the ban on any “advocacy of homosexual behavior” defined as “promoting homosexual relations as being morally acceptable.”
Deseret Book publishes Ty Mansfield’s Voices of Hope: Latter-Day Saint Perspectives on Same Gender Attraction. The book introduces many members to the struggle of reconciling faith and sexual orientation. The book includes many stories of people who entered mixed-orientation marriages.
Drew Call is a gay returned missionary working for the Church’s printing office. His stake president refuses to renew Drew’s temple recommend for not giving up his 4 gay friends. Since a temple recommend is required for his job, Drew is fired.
The Book of Mormon Musical debuts on Broadway. One subplot in the show involves a gay missionary and the show ridicules the Church’s position that it’s okay for a person to be gay as long as they don’t act on it.
Mitch Mayne receives a lot of media coverage for being the first openly-gay man serving in a bishopric as a ward executive secretary. For several years he uses this high profile to speak about LGBT topics. He believes the Church should welcome all gay people without penalty regardless of whether they’re in a gay relationship.
Kendall Wilcox, an openly gay faculty member in the BYU broadcasting department, is fired for being gay. He takes to local news to share his saga. Firing him didn’t make him go away, Kendall shows up again several times on this list
A video is leaked in which the apostles appear paranoid about gay people. The apostles speculate whether Chelsea Manning (a military analyst who is convicted of espionage) is gay. Elder Oaks states that the “news media cover up anything involving homosexuals when it would work to the disadvantage of the homosexual agenda.“
Kevin Kloosterman is a bishop in the LDS church and received a lot of attention for speaking at the Circle the Wagons conference in which he apologizes for the way the Church treats its LGBT members
Taylor Petrey’s article in Dialogue generates a lot of buzz. “Toward a Post-Heterosexual Mormon Theology” is an exploration of LDS theology that excludes the centrality of straight sex
The “It Gets Better” video by USGA goes viral & gets national attention (it was produced by Kendall Wilcox). The BYU students who appeared in those videos are brave: Mark, Adam White, Heather Waddington, Derek Flora, Jenna Hawkins, Erikka Beam, Kiefer, Kevin, Nathan Cunliffe, Bridey Jensen, Andrew Brown, Kaden, Amber Bell, Madison Price, Ellen, Demaree, Blake, Nicole, John Patrick McKenna, Matt, Kristin & Tom
Josh Weed came out publicly as gay in a blog post co-written with his wife Lolly. The post went viral and he & his wife appeared in national media programs sharing their story
The Family Acceptance Project published an evidence-based guide for Mormon parents wanting to support their LGBT children.
Meg Abhau writes a blog post shortly after her son Jon comes out as gay. Her post will become the inspiration for the name Mama Dragons. “I have always been a mother bear. Once I found out about Jon, that didn’t seem a fierce enough title. There is a whole new level of protection that has come over me. I now call myself a Mama Dragon. I could literally breathe fire if someone hurt my son.”
Benji Schwimmer, the returned missionary who was winner of the second season of So You Think You Can Dance, comes out publicly as gay
Mormons Building Bridges is founded by Erika Munson, Kendall Wilcox and Bianca Morrison Dillard. The first official act of the group was to march in the Salt Lake City Pride Parade on June 3, 2012.
The Church launched the website titled mormonsandgays.org. Notably the website states that “individuals do not choose to have such attractions” which differs from decades of Church teachings
Carol Lynn Pearson releases her book The Hero’s Journey of the Gay and Lesbian Mormon in which she uses the imagery of Mormon pioneers to frame the journey of LGBTQ members of the LDS Church and their quest for love & understanding.
USGA is banned from meeting on BYU’s campus
ALL (Arizona LDS LGBT) Friends & Family is founded. They have an annual conference and monthly get togethers. Their aim is to create an LDS community where LGBT Mormons feel loved and supported.
Gay BYU student Jimmy Hales receives national attention when his coming out video goes viral. He gets engaged to his husband in February 2019
The Church speaks favorably of the Boy Scouts of America lifting the ban against gay young men from being able to participate in Scouts
A court decision makes gay marriage legal in Utah. Seth Anderson & Michael Ferguson, both former Mormons, are the first gay couple to get married in Utah
Gina Crivello had a private message thread on Facebook with several women she knew who had LGBTQIA+ children–Meg Abhau, Wendy Montgomery, Jill Rowe and Christy Cottle. Soon they added Yvette Zobell, Vicki Johnson, Liz Deane and Pamela Weyman. In January 2014, Gina setup a Facebook group called the Mama Dragon Council. In addition to those already listed, Neca Allgood, Diane Oviatt, Christy Searle, Nancy Meyers, Leslie Cordon, Becky Ransom, and Sara Cook joined the page on the first day. There are now over 3000 Dragon Mama’s
Evergreen International (which said people could reduce or change their same-sex attractions) shuts down and transfers its resources to North Star
In response to the legalization of gay marriage in Utah, the Church sends a letter to local leaders asking them to share that the Church opposes same-sex marriage and it encourages everyone to study the Family Proclamation.
Kathryn Skaggs, who blogs as “A Well-Behaved Mormon Woman,” gets national attention (and ridicule) for her position that the Disney movie Frozen is an attempt to normalize homosexuality to children
Jake Abhau, (husband to Meg who coined the term “Mama Dragon”), started the Facebook group Dragon Dads for fathers of LGBT children. Originally it had just 3 dads but it’s become a place where men can speak openly about being a father to LGBT children and support each other.
Kevin Kloosterman, who had received media attention in 2011 for speaking out for LGBT Mormons as a bishop, is denied a renewal of his temple recommend by his bishop. The bishop says an Area Seventy contacted him because Kevin tweeted congratulations to the first gay couple in Utah to be married. This denial of a temple recommend generates a lot of press.
Tyler Glenn, lead singer of the band Neon Trees, comes out as a gay Mormon in Rolling Stone magazine.
The Church sends a survey to young single adult members in Utah. One of the questions asked “I am heterosexual, but I struggle with same-sex attraction; I am heterosexual and do not struggle with same-sex attraction; Other, please specify.” This question implies homosexuality doesn’t exist and LGBT individuals are actually straight people who “struggle” with a problem. This received media attention and the question was changed.
Mormons Building Bridges is denied permission to march in the Church’s Pioneer Day parade. The rejection makes news each subsequent year when the group is again denied participation.
The BYU Bookstore briefly sold greeting cards congratulating recently married same-sex couples. The cards were quickly pulled, making international news.
BYU student Curtis Penfold was kicked out of his apartment, fired from his job, and expelled from BYU after disagreeing with LDS teachings on LGBT rights when he rallied in support for gay marriage
Film student Scott Raia’s documentary about queer BYU students Bridey Jensen and Samy Galvez was shown on the BYU campus.
Andrew White was a BYU student & employee at the MTC. He was physically assaulted by his roommates after he told one of them that he was gay.
TLC cable channel airs the series My Husband’s Not Gay, which is about the lives of LDS men in Utah who are attracted to men but dating or married to women. Over 100,000 signatures against the show are gathered and national LGBTQ leaders denounce the program
Clark Johnsen, an actor in The Book of Mormon musical, does an interview in which he talks about his experience as a gay Mormon and a gay missionary.
The Church supports Utah’s “Fairness for All” legislation, which is nondiscrimination legislation for LGBT people in housing, employment, and public accommodation, but exempts religious institutions.
In a highly-publized case, John Dehlin is excommunicated from the Church, in part for his advocacy of same-sex marriage
Elder Christofferson gives an interview in which he says the Church will never accept gay marriage, but he recognizes that there’s a lot of members with other viewpoints on this. He stated that advocating for same-sex marriage on social media or holding political beliefs differing from official church stances would not threaten a member’s standing in the church
The LDS Church makes a donation to the Utah Pride Center which provides food and services to the LGBTQ population in the Salt Lake City area
Three days after the US Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, a letter was read in every US congregation affirming that “Changes in the civil law… cannot change the moral law that God has established.” The letter forbade any church property being used for activities “associated with same-sex marriages,” such as a reception.
After the Boy Scouts of America announces that gay individuals may serve as leaders, the Church issues a statement that it’s "deeply troubled” and would re-evaluate continued partnership with the scouts.
Emmett Claren (Presciado) starts a YouTube channel where he documents his transition, from first testoterone shot to top surgery. Emmett gets a lot of media attention from local & national press for risking his church membership by being so public
Elder Rasband spoke at a BYU devotional and lamented how a person marginalized at work for being Mormon would get less sympathy than a person fired for being gay
An update to the LDS Handbook 1 was leaked. This update became known as the Policy of Exclusion. It denied membership to the children of gay couples. It also said gay married couples are apostates and face mandatory church discipline. Due to the media firestorm, Elder Christofferson appears in a video about the policy change to say the policy is about love and protecting children.
April Hoagland & Beckie Peirce, a same-sex couple in Utah, were denied guardianship for a foster child because of their sexual orientation by Judge Scott Johansen. The judge is a BYU grad, former member of a stake presidency and bishop, and receives so much media attention for the decision that he retires.
Celeste Carolin and Kathleen Majdali receive media attention because their wedding would put them at risk for excommunication
A BYU-Idaho event on “overcoming” homosexuality through therapy was advertised in church meetings, but ended up being canceled when it received media attention
Mama Dragons documented 32 suicides in the wake of the Policy of Exclusion by LDS LGBT individuals. The Church issues a statement that it mourns their deaths, but it makes no change to the policy or doctrine
Judith Mehr is a noted LDS artist who did paintings for church magazines and media that are familiar to many members, and has works of art hanging in the Family History Library and Church History Museum. She came out as gay in an op-ed along with a plea to love and accept God’s gay children
In a worldwide broadcast, Elder Bednar says “there are no homosexual members of the Church”
Alex Cooper, a Utah teenage lesbian, goes public with the abusive practices she faced as part of conversion therapy which led her to attempt suicide. The Church issues a statement opposing “abusive practices” in therapy, but doesn’t address conversion therapy.
Garett Smith & Kyle Cranney are featured in an article titled “They Loved the Church. They Loved Each Other More” which discusses their resignation from the Church ahead of their wedding
LDSSingles.com, which at the time was one of the largest dating sites among Church members, loses a court case and must allow the option of people looking to date individuals of their same gender
BYU’s Honor Code policies against LGBT students & faculty gets a lot of media attention and plays a role in the university being denied membership in the Big XII athletic conference
Misty Snow is a trans woman who ran as the Democrat nominee for Utah’s senate seat, losing to the Republican Mike Lee 68% to 27%
The website I’ll Walk With You is created which contains videos of parents who love & support their LGBTQ+ children
The mormonandgay website is revised. Included is a statement that changing sexual orientation shouldn’t be a requirement of therapy.
Jenna Peterson is a lesbian married to a man and she was supposed to have a video of her story posted on the mormonandgay website, but at the last minute she asked the Church not to post it. While a mixed-orientation marriage works for her, she knows it doesn’t work for most and was worried her video would send a damaging message to LGBT individuals
Tyler Glenn releases the album Excommunication about his frustration with the policies of the LDS Church and his leaving the Church
Provo’s newspaper The Daily Herald published a series of six articles on the experiences of BYU LGBT students with an editorial conclusion at the end of the series asking BYU administrators to listen to LGBT BYU students. These students were part of the series: David Delbar, K.C. Clark, Dillon Harker, Arenui Anderson, Aubree Lyman, Sabina Mendoza, Addison Jenkins, J.D. Goates, Aidan Cano, Brenna McGrath, Heather Fisher, Samuel Schiess, Jessica Kurki-Swenson, Bryn Decker, Todd Norman, Sonora Orchard
LGBT resource center “Encircle” is founded in Provo, Utah by Stephenie Larson across from the new LDS temple.
A Tumblr post goes viral about David Doyle, who is gay, coming out to a Seventy, who responds with kindness & love
Boy Scouts of America announces that transgender individuals can become scouts. The Church soon responds by announcing it will cut ties with Scouts in both the USA and Canada.
Utah Governor Herbert signs legislation that did away with the state’s “no promo homo” law. That law forbade teachers from speaking positively about gay people in the classroom or as part of sex ed. The repeal was pushed by former Mormon Troy Williams of Equality Utah and supported by the Church.
The Church adds a video to the mormonandgay website of Becky & Scott Mackintosh who accept and embrace their gay son Xian, even though he no longer attends church and he dates men
Bryce Cook writes and releases an essay titled “What Do We Know of God’s Will For His LGBT Children? An Examination of the LDS Church’s Position on Homosexuality” This is a comprehensive look at the change in teachings of the Church throughout its history on LGBT subjects.
An Ensign article by Elder Lawrence that same-sex marriages are a counterfeit includes reasons that wind up including the marriages of infertile and/or childless straight couples. That led to a kerfuffle as to whether their marriages are also “counterfeit”
Elder Holland says in General Conference “There is room [in the church] for those with differing sexual attractions.”
Twelve-year-old Savannah Skyler comes out as lesbian to her ward in testimony meeting and a video of this goes viral. In the video, a member of the stake presidency turns off the microphone and tells her to sit down
For Mother’s Day, the Salt Lake Tribune shares the stories of two trans women–Ann Pack and Sara Jade
Former stake president and lead Church architect Laurie Lee Hall was excommunicated for socially transitioning to express her gender identity as a transgender woman.
Andrew Evans, who works for the National Geographic magazine, shared traumatic moments he had as a gay student at BYU. He’d been caught kissing another man and underwent a year of conversion therapy.
Ruthie Robertson, a professor at BYU-Idaho, is fired for a post to her Facebook page in support of LGBT rights and against the Church’s Policy of Exclusion.
A video goes viral about Courtney and Rachelle, a lesbian couple, who get divorced in order to join the church. They’d prefer not to get divorced, but joining the church required the breaking up of their family
An audio file is leaked of Elder Oaks in Kansas speaking to youth in which he tells them not to call themselves gay or lesbian. And he has letters from people who stopped having gay feelings and married and had children, so yes, people can overcome this temptation.
LoveLoud Fest in Provo, Utah is organized by Dan Reynolds in support of LGBT youth. The Church issued a statement in support of the concert
Kris Irvin, a trans masculine, nonbinary, asexual BYU student makes national news for having a bishop threaten to withhold an ecclesiastical endorsement if Kris receives top surgery. Without the ecclesiastical endorsement, Kris would not be allowed to continue as a student at BYU
Deseret Book releases Tom Christofferson’s book titled ”That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family“ about his life as a gay man. Tom is the older brother of LDS apostle Todd Christofferson.
A lesbian BYU student gained media attention for her coming out images and quotes on Faces of USGA. LDSLiving published her post & photo with the headline Lesbian Mormon Shares a Powerful Message to Members of the Church: "I Want People to See My Face"
Provo’s Daily Herald newspaper published an article on past & present transgender BYU students: Cammie Vanderveur, Jami Claire, Andy Winder, Kris Irvin
In response to a question, Elder Ballard told members, “We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home.”
Paul Augenstein is bishop of a ward in Riverton, UT. Together with his wife Susie, they did a 5th Sunday lesson about the needs of LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. That began their efforts to create better understanding between the LDS and LGBT communities. Susie created the Facebook page Let’s Love Better as a way to help support LGBTQ Mormons and to help educate others
The documentary Believer airs on HBO about Dan Reynold’s efforts to start the LoveLoud Fest and his hope for change in LDS teachings on LGBT topics (Dan Reynolds is lead singer of the band Imagine Dragons)
Josh Weed, the most famous LDS gay man in a mixed-orientation marriage, announces that he & his wife will get a divorce. They apologize to everyone who ever had their story held up as an example that gay people can get married and stay in the Church.
Church-run Family Services states it no longer provides reparative therapy or sexual orientation change efforts
Richard Ostler starts a podcast called “Listen, Learn, and Love,” which has LGBTQ members/former members share their stories
BYU sponsors its first LGBT campus event, a panel of four students--Kaitlynn Wright, Ben Schilaty, Sarah Langford and Gabriel Cano–answer student-submitted questions
As president of the LGBTQAI+ and Allies Club, Jill Stevenson worked with administration at Southern Virginia University, a predominantly-LDS liberal arts college, to get the university to officially recognize the club, and to allow same-gender dancing on campus
The US Society for Political Methodology was moved off BYU campus because of the university’s ban on homosexual behavior, which the Society said represented intolerance it didn’t want to be associated with
Josh Searle released a video explaining that he’s been dating and is in love and has asked the Church to remove the video he did for the mormonandgay website
The Provo Freedom Festival signs a contract with the city of Provo. The contract would provide local tax funds but the contract included the city’s standard non-discrimination clause. After the Provo Freedom Festival denied LGBTQ groups a spot in the parade, public outcry led Provo’s mayor to pressure the Freedom Festival to honor the non-discrimination part of the contract or return the money. The festival leaders decided to allow the groups to march
The Church’s Family Search website starts allowing same-sex marriages to be recorded
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus performed a song together in San Francisco.
BYU professor Eric Huntsman gave a BYU campus devotional in which he spoke of the struggle of gay members in the church and the need to love them
Holly Tuckett & Kendall Wilcox’s documentary Church and State—which highlights the events surrounding the battle for same-sex marriage in Utah—debuts at the Broadway Theatre in Utah.
LDS Living shared the story of gay BYU student Calvin Burke who said that his mission president’s loving response to him coming out saved his life and prepared him for the overwhelmingly negative reactions he would get from his family and other Church leaders.
Elder Oaks speaks in General Conference about ”Truth and the Plan“. He says that exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom can only be obtained by an eternal marriage between a man & a woman. The purpose of the Church is to “qualify” God’s children to be exalted. For people who don’t desire that or don’t qualify, God provides other lesser kingdoms of glory.
The NCAA Common Ground IV forum was hosted at BYU. The goal of this forum is to "establish inclusive and respectful athletics environments for participants of all sexual orientations, gender identities and religious beliefs. BYU Senior Associate Athletic Director & Senior Woman Administrator Liz Darger plays an active role on the Common Ground leadership team.
One of BYU’s official Instagram accounts was turned over to student Kyle Manwaring for a day, who talked about what it was like to be gay at BYU.
Stacey Harkey, a cast member on BYUTV’s popular show Studio C, comes out as gay
Greg Prince’s history book Gay Rights and the Mormon Church; Intended Actions, Unintended Consequences is published
David Matheson divorced his wife of 34 years and announced he is dating men and apologized for any damage he did as a therapist. He used to claim he conquered his same sex attraction and was straight. He made a career of helping other men “diminish unwanted homosexuality and feel whole as men.”
Former BYU mascot Charlie Bird comes out as gay.
Elder Oaks announces that the November 2015 Policy of Exclusion is rescinded and “immoral conduct in heterosexual or homosexual relationships will be treated in the same way.”
BYU valedictorian Matt Easton speaks at a BYU commencement ceremony. He states “I stand before my family, friends and graduating class today to say that I am proud to be a gay son of God.“ He receives rousing applause.
Nate Ivie, a Republican Utah County commissioner & member of the LDS Church, came out as gay to widespread coverage in Utah
A neighborhood in Sandy, Utah (a city with a high percentage of Latter-Day Saints), displayed Pride flags for Pride Week
BYU track athlete Emma Gee comes out as bisexual, becoming the first openly-queer athlete at BYU
Xian Mackintosh (whose parents are in a video on mormonandgay.lds.org) marries Karson Phippen and the pictures are stunningly beautiful
Edward Smart, father of Elizabeth Smart, came out as gay and stated that he no longer found solace in the LDS church and that he’d watched for years as, "LGBTQ individuals both in and out of the Church have been victims of ridicule, shunning, rejection and outright humiliation.”
President Russell M. Nelson spoke at a BYU devotional “The truth is, however, that in the beginning—in the beginning—marriage was ordained by God! And to this day it is defined by Him as being between a man and a woman. God has not changed His definition of marriage.“
The American Geophysical Union in Washington, D.C., and the Geological Society of America remove ads for BYU professor positions from their websites after complaints from constituents that BYU’s honor code discriminates against anyone in a same-sex marriage or relationship from applying, a violation of both organizations’ ethical standards
Jessyca Fullmer posts a video explaining that she’s dating a woman and has never been happier. She apologizes to people who may feel disappointed and explains that she asked the Church to remove her video from the mormonandgay website
Becky Mackintosh, the mom who is featured in the mormonandgay video as supporting her gay son, releases a book titled “Love Boldly: Embracing Your LGBTQ Loved Ones and Your Faith”
In a leadership meeting, Elder Oaks tells the Seventy & other apostles that “the intended meaning of gender in the family proclamation and as used in Church statements and publications since that time is biological sex at birth.”
Elder Oaks speaks in the Women’s Session of General Conferences and suggests we don’t let children label themselves as they’re figuring out their sexual orientation
Daniel Spencer, who appeared on the YouTube series Provo’s Most Eligible, comes out as gay
Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington DC performs at the Washington Temple Visitors Center
Utah Governor Herbert announces ban of conversion therapy.
