marla singer's wife

Torture the haters to death

Live well, be happy, and thank them in your acceptance speech.

Goofy ass. Hurt people with weapons until they die.

i saw this somewhere else but reply / tag what you did today so everyone can see that we all did something different today

americans be like fuuuuck yes ill work for 60 years so i can eventually eat candy alone in my house

okay dont be mad but i just scheduled you for every appointment ever. you have an open house on tuesday and a doctor is removing your all of it tomorrow 👍

my mom told me this story tonight about my grandfather. she said when he was a little boy he was afraid robbers would break into his house in the middle of the night and try to abduct him out of his bed. he thought that they would be able to feel that he was the shape of a little boy under the covers and know to grab him. so he would try to fall asleep in the shape of a letter of the alphabet. so that they would feel for him and be like "oh it's just the letter R, not a kidnappable child"

@capricornpropaganda

Happy first Marsha P Johnson with Snoopy Sunday of Pride month everyone 🌈

Today I called a girl homophobic as a joke and she almost started crying

She said “my neighbors are a lesbian couple! I’m the least homophobic person you’ll ever meet”

She entered the Home of Phobia and wasn’t even scared

why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean

COME TO MY HOUSE

Up late singing and microwaving loud as fuck

Moved out so I could be loud! But now I have a husband that I love so so much I refuse to wake him up with loud even if i really really want to.

Im going to come to your house and wake your stupid ass husband up

you literally couldn’t torture this out of me

slowing intuiting the rules and goals of solitaire through trial and error on what the computer does and does not let me do rather than looking up the rules because it's a much funnier way to learn

just learned you can move cards between stacks. how lovely

We sent your boyfriend to live on a beautiful farm upstate where he can run around with all of the other boyfriends together forever

Realistically I know “let’s all kill ourselves” is just as bad or maybe worse than “im going to kill myself” but in my head it’s like. ok but im establishing a sense of community and proposing a group activity? like are we really going to get mad about that