Queerly Beloved

I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:

Books I personally recommend:

- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.

- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”

- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.

- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.

- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.

- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.

Books I can kind of recommend:

- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”

- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.

- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.

Cursed armour that can't be removed and just genty fucks you to the edge no matter how much you writhe for more or try to escape.

Cursed clothing that that constantly teases and sucks your nipples. If you try to stop it, they bind and tie you up until you're helpless.

Cursed equipment that caresses and gropes you in public, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Looking for tutorials? Blogs to follow? Want to figure out that one tie you saw at the dungeon last week? This post has got you covered – written to be accessible for complete newbies, with resources even old hats at rope bondage can appreciate be they bottom or top.

(1) Tutorial Websites and Videos  

Beautiful Bondage 

Cam Damage

Crash Restraint Website

Crash Restraint Youtube

deGiotto Rope

EpicRope

Esinem Website

Esinem Shibari Classes   

Evie Vane’s Videos 

Kinbaku Luxuria

Kinbaku Today 

Kink Academy  

Kissmedeadly Doll References

Miss Eris 

ReKink Rope Bondage Tutorials

Rope Baby  

Rope Connections

RopeTopia Resources

RVA Rope

Secondfloor Lotus Studio

Shibari.Ph Resources 

The Dutchy

The Twisted Monk

Two Knotty Boys Video Downloads

(2) Safety and Technique Information* 

* = most of the website and video list also covers safety information

Kinky Clover Rope Bottom Guide   

How to Be an Awesome Rope Bottom

A Guide For Rope Bottoms and Bondage Models 

Bondage Safety for Bottoms

Resources for Rope Bottoms 

Safety with Rope

BDSMWiki: Beginner Rope Bondage 

Blackout: What to Do When Someone Faints

Crash Restraint Rope Advice  

Fixing Problems Before They Happen

Free: Bondage Safety 

Rope Incident Reports

On Circulation 

On Nerve Damage 

Pain in Kinbaku

Nerves in Rope Bondage

Nerve Injury Reference Card 

Nerve Injury Treatment and Management

Remedial Ropes

Self-Suspension

Shibari.Ph: Read This Before Trying Bondage  

What is Shibari?

Who Can be Suspended?

(3) Books 

The Little Guide to Getting Tied Up by Evie Vane

Better Bondage for Every Body by Evie Vane

Rope Bondage The Smart Way: A Step By Step Guide To Using Rope Bondage In BDSM by Pete Riggs

Shibari You Can Use by Lee Harrington and RiggerJay

More Shibari You Can Use  by Lee Harrington and RiggerJay

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys

Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys

The Seductive Art of Japanese Rope Bondage by Midori

The Beauty of Kinbaku by Master “K”

Essence of Shibari: Kinbaku and Japanese Rope Bondage  by Shin Nawakari

Rogue Hojojutsu by Douglas Kent

Complete Shibari Volume 1: Land by Douglas Kent

Complete Shibari Volume 2: Sky by Douglas Kent

Bondage For Sex by Chanta Rose

Tie Me Up! The Complete Guide to Bondage by Stephan Niederwieser 

(4) Tumblr Blogs  

@schwein-child , @goodmorningm0therfucker , @kissmedeadlydoll 

@camdamage  @ropebaby , @hornyropebunny @tohjiro 

@japanesebdsmofficial  @squirmforgood @evilthell, @amaury-grisel-shibari

@rumen-basheff , @kanan0690, @theropediary @jewelryandfire 

@cubicletocollar, @em-ties, @strictly-dirtyvonp, @secondfloor-fet

@gaping-lotus, @jesseflanagan, @nawayoi  @uncoiled-rope , @boshai, 

@tieduptee, @furi0usge0rge, @daddysprettypinkprincess, @shibarikuma, 

@daddyrigsme, @shaktibliss @nikolasromanov, @tied-yuno,  

@kinkyropecuriosity @danielriquelme-shibari  @tentesion, @wykd-dave, 

@ella-winters, @squirmforgood, @bondage-gifs, @master-rene-will, 

@orpheusblack, @alekzander-kinbaku, @misunguided  @untitledminor,

@tied-yuno, @kbnawa, @ropedisco, @cordineclubarchives, 

@tiedandtwisted420, @fred-rx, @skinny-redhead, @nikolasromanov, 

@enbydea, @neckropenightmare, @hangknot, @se7enbondage 

Tumblr blog list from @thebeautyofrope‘s awesome post because I simply could not do a better or more complete job myself