How far will you go to save your son

so I work at starbucks right and I was making this old lady a taste test drink to help her decide if she wanted a bigger size and I give her this drink right and as she’s about to take a drink I deadass said “take a fu-” before I stopped and realized I was really about to tell this 78 year old woman to take a fucking sip, babe

somebody could literally make the funniest joke in the universe, expertly crafted and hand made like a fine artisan cheese, but it’ll never make me laugh as much as that one fucking comic where goofy steals a hat from himself in a different panel and defies all logic and starts crying

[singing blissfully] “♪ Everybody gets tired! But specifically, today I’m just tired of you! Fu-”

Mood

Dropping the stick is the only proof we have that he’s actually human; that was exemplary.