fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this
yep, my therapist tells me that every session

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@queer-gremlin
fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this
yep, my therapist tells me that every session

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"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity
Oh gee, you're right! Why didn't the people who can't even move their arms think of just making a painting? /s
And before anyone starts spouting some "art is more than just painting" spiel, you don't know what kind of art someone might need to make in order to express their vision. An artist may have a very specific idea in mind to create the perfect piece of graphic art, and using music, performance, etc. just won't cut it for them. AI is a tool that can help the disabled in so many ways. Not even just with art. Get off your high horse and accept that disabled people have different needs and, guess what, ABILITIES than you do. Fuck you, asshole.
you are a tar pit.
and you are ableist.
you're fighting against a tool that makes art more accessible, and actively dismissing the notion that it could even possibly be doing that. this IS ableist. YOU are the tar pit in this situation.
L+Ratio+It doesn't+i slept w your mom
Hi Iâm disabled Iâm crippled I have a disorder that makes my fingers suddenly dislocate while Iâm holding my pencil I have a spinal issue that makes it hard for me to bend over a desk half of the time I have leg issues that make it difficult for me to get around etc etc etc. I also have a bunch of other issues I donât want to tell you about.
Iâm also in art college. And even if I wasnât, Iâve been doing art for almost a decade now. Iâve been disabled the whole bloody time.
AI, isnât art.
There are many disabled artists and we have adapted our own ways of dealing with how we create. Fuck you, we have been doing this forever.
Vincent Van Gogh had temporal lobe epilepsy; Henri Matisse became a wheelchair user after surgery for cancer; Michelangelo had osteoarthritis, limiting mobility and causing pain in his hands and feet.
Paul Smith had a severe case of cerebral palsy and created art using typewriters.
Peter Longstaff has no arms due to Thalidomide, and paints with his feet.
Frida Kahlo not only had polio that disabled her as a child, but of course as we all know was injured in a bus accident at the age of 18, which caused her lifelong pain and medical problems.
Fuck, you want a personal annecdote? I knew a girl (we have lost touch since) who was paralysed from the neck down and she painted with her mouth and there are other artists who do so too! And with eye tracking technology Iâm sure disabled artists will be getting more and more tools as the years pass. But we do NOT condone AI art. All that does is put us, real disabled artists, who exist and need support, out of jobs and commissions.
Fuck you.
hi, another disabled person here for more personal anecdotes! here is an art piece i made entirely with my non dominant hand 1 week before my most recent shoulder surgery on that same arm. i also wear splint rings to keep my fingers from dislocating while painting (or playing bass guitar cause i do that too). i make most of my income off hand painted art despite having hand tremors, frequent wrist dislocations/subluxations, and migraines.
my friend and her wife also make their incomes off wig making, leatherwork, and digital collage prints. both have chronic pain as well.
our lines arent perfect because we have shaky hands but thats ok, make it a feature not a flaw in your art. fuck AI.
Anyone who thinks physically disabled people need to use art stealing AI to make our own art is the ableist, actually.
Mine isn't as drastic (yet) but I've been having to wear wrist braces and finger splints since childhood off and on because using my hands in a repetitive motions causes them to be in pretty excruciating pain.
What is my art medium of choice? Knitting. You know, that thing where you have to do a repetitive motion over and over again. I hold my needles a bit strange, I knit through the pain, I sometimes have to give up working on it for weeks at a time. But I will not stop because it's what makes my heart sing.
Disabled artists don't need your pity, we've been getting by, doing what makes us happy despite the pain and hardships for thousands of years, probably longer, I bet there were neolithic disabled artists.
No actual real artist wants or uses AI, including disabled artists. AI is for losers who are scared of the extremely important phase in art where you suck and want to skip it by stealing and not even in a cool "I'm emulating your style because I wanna learn from it" way.
Go suck at art for a couple years like the rest of us and stop talking over disabled artists.
Can I just add
Chuck Close
Chuck Close was a painter and photographer who specialized in ENORMOUS portraiture. If you've never been in the same room as one of his works, try to remedy that if you can, because it is an awesome experience. Close had a number of mental and physical conditions as a child, but in 1988, in his 40s and already a celebrated artist, he suffered a blood clot that left him paralyzed from the neck down. After intensive physical therapy, he was able to regain enough control to move his arms (more his upper arms than forearms), enabling him to paint with a brush strapped to his wrist. He adapted his painting style for his disability... and he continued painting enormous, hyper realistic portraits.
Close with self-portraits before (left) and after (right) his paralysis:
yeah top guy who said ai art is âaccessibleâ fuck you.
Humans adapt, as we have for years. Theft will not stop humanity.
Humans adapt, as
we have for years. Theft will not
stop humanity.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
There's also, like. Humans helping other humans.
There's a glass artist out there name of Chihuly who lost an eye. Not having depth perception is kind of a big problem when working with what is basically slightly domesticated lava. So he uses sketches and storyboard kind of things to lay out what glass pieces he needsâother people make theseâand then assembles them into large art installations that kind of look like what Great Cthulhu's cottage garden would look like, if Great Cthulhu was not in the business of driving people mad and just devoted to spreading a sort of alien beauty.
You should go to a Chihuly exhibit if one comes by your town and you have the spoons to get there.
You should also remember that there is a pretty large team behind him, because art is not Just One Dude, it is a shared endeavor.
disabled person (not as severely as some of the other people in this thread, but i have CFS and a sensory processing disorder) taking a college degree in Art and Design here!
generative AI is inherently immoral. no excuses or edge cases. operating generative AI requires unsustainable amounts of water and energy, and the data sets used to train these generative algorithms rely on art used without consent. that is theft.
your chat gpt or dalle model is built off of theft and environmental abuse, by the hands of fascists and their apologists.
implying that disabled people cannot make art without the use of algorithmic image generation is not only really fucking insulting, but also ignorant of how much damage these companies are causing.
Be better.
ok but legitimately i think the reason why kids arenât taking internet safety seriously is because the people who are telling us not to put our personal information out seem so out of touch. no one acknowledges the possibility of meeting very real teenaged friends online, they always say that everyone you meet is a 40 year old white man in disguise. because they arenât acknowledging things we know are true, it becomes a lot easier to dismiss the rest of what theyâre saying as well. internet safety lessons absolutely must keep up with the times and acknowledge the internetâs capacity for good if you want kids to take to heart warnings about its capacity for bad.
Some actual safety tips for teenagers:
1. Have proof they're a teenager first. More than just a picture, have a video call with them.
2. If you want to meet up with them, have your parents or a trusted adult come with you. Even if they are a proven teenager, its still good to have supervision in case any issues happen.
3. If you are talking to an adult, and they start being sexual in any way, you run the fuck away. It doesn't matter if they're 40 or 20. An adult inherently has a power dynamic that teenagers do not. And its up to the adult to act responsible about it. There's exceptions of course, if you're 16 and dating an 18 year old, that's not a problem, we're not talking about that.
4. Being in a server with adults or ran by adults is not inherently bad. Talking to adults is not inherently a problem, and will likely happen in any number of Discord servers. It is only an issue when they are acting sexual and show predatory behavior.
5. Look out for grooming behavior. It can be difficult, because at first it seems like innocuous behavior, like complimenting or giving gifts. Especially if you feel lonely and have low self esteem. And groomers actively target people like that.
If they start trying to isolate you, talk sexual with you, state they depend on you for emotional needs, blame you for their own actions, try to be secretive about the relationship- Then you need to talk to people you trust, block the perpetrator, and call the police on them.
6. If this does happen to you, remember this: It is not your fault. Even if you didn't listen to a single thing listed here, it is not your fault. It is the fault of the adults who knew better, and didn't care. It's not your fault.
To my followers: if any of you guys are underaged, please be very VERY careful on here, and donât fall for any of the tricks the groomer would use on you, just block them and report them.
Slapping this on this blog because itâs very relevant to fandom community culture.
1: You WILL interact with adults if you are attempting to engage with fandom on a larger scale than Your Specially Curated Friends List.
2: Do NOT allow these adults to make you uncomfortable. If you are uncomfortable, you can and should leave.
If you were a bug what kind of bug would you be? I canât put my finger on it but PERSONALLY I feel pretty scarab-y
Reminder that TERF rhetoric doesn't start with "we have a raging and irrational hatred for half the human population based on biochemical characteristics, just like literal fascists," it starts with more rational sounding statements that place you in the role of victimhood and gain your sympathy.
"Testosterone causes dominance and aggression."
"Not all men, but we can't tell which men so we must assume all men are predators."
"Even men you know could secretly be predators."
"We don't want men in women's restrooms."
"It's unfair for AMAB people to compete in women's sports, they have a physical advantage."
These are all relatively accepted points among central and even liberal circles of women. They sound like they are logically sound and only concerned with protecting women from harm.
Until...
Testosterone does not cause aggression. That's bioessentialism, which is bad science.
Fear mongering works to separate you and "others" into groups; us vs them, you're put on the defensive. Assumptions about gender essentialism are shown to widen the gap in so-called gender-based behaviors. Not only that, they actively increase hostility towards trans individuals.
Men are not slaves to their biochemistry or gender identities. Studies show that young boys given education on relationships and consent don't go on to be perpetrators of DV and sexual assault.
Additionally, intimate partner violence is reciprocal far more often than reported due to the fact that men are unlikely to report abuse. DV is not a problem of gender--it is a learned behavior.
Arguments about "men" in women's spaces is not about cis men--it is a dogwhistle for transphobia.
Trans feminine individuals on HRT experience a decrease in Hgb/HCT levels to equal that of cisgender women, as well as lose muscle mass, which steadily declines beyond 3 years on HRT. They also show no difference in V02 peak to cis women.
Additionally, there is no rationale behind using trans people as a whipping dog in discussions of gender.
"Almost half of all transgender people have been discriminated against in hiring or firing decisions and more than 40 percent have experienced workplace harassment because they are transgender." This is comparable to rates of sexism that cis women experience in the workplace.
Trans women were paid 60 cents for every $1 earned by the average American worker, compared to the 84 cents earned by cis women.
Trans people face significant barriers to accessing sexual, reproductive, and general healthcare.
Trans people face 4x the rate of violent crime as cis people (including cis women).
People get a fast track down the TERF pipeline when they're not educated. Educate yourself.

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Silverfish are so brave for going down the bathtub drain. I would be scared as fuck in there. I suppose when you have as many legs as they do things like that arenât as frightening. #Perspective.
it's either the drain or getting eaten by my cat
Were you ever spanked as a child AND do you think that spanking is ok?
Were you ever spanked as a child AND do you think that spanking is ok?
Yes, Yes
Yes, No
No, Yes
No. No
spanking produces brain changes that indicate a heightened threat response similar to those found in children who experienced sexual abuse
spanking: does not reduce defiant behavior; negatively affects social, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral development; and has similar outcomes to other forms of physical abuse
physical punishment is linked to antisocial behavior in adults
spanking has been linked by many studies to depression, personality disorders, suicidal ideation & attempts, self injurious behavior, and substance abuse
there is no evidence that spanking is effective
Stop. Hitting. Your. Fucking. Kids.
It's been said somewhere else and it's something I'll always repeat. Either your kid is too young to know why they're being spanked, so you're just hurting them for no reason, OR they're old enough to reason, in which case you can talk to them and convey the punishment in a non-physical manner. There is no appropriate age or situation in which physical abuse serves as a due punishment or reprimand for bad behaviour.
Those statues are how I imagine the scream painting by Edward Munch to look like if the person was sideways
rb with your most common recurring theme in your nightmares. mine is pregnancy
cooking show but the judge is just a random kid with autism related food issues. no one can figure out what criteria they use to judge "good food" from "bad food" least of all the judge themself.
starts off as a cooking show and devolves into a heartfelt comedy of errors as all these professional top chefs use their decades of training & skill to try to help this one kid eat a balanced diet
by the end of the season the chefs have combined their knowledge to more-or-less figure out how to consistently make food that the judge is willing to eat. at which point we start over with a whole new season and a new judge with all new food issues!
spin-off series where there is an entire panel of judges consisting specifically of one large family whose members have multiple dietary restrictions. the contestants must planning a week's worth of dinners that account for everyone's needs, using commonly available ingredients on a normal household budget. they are not allowed to repeat meals
Now THIS is a cooking show i would watch!
I. I want this. This is a fucking insanely good idea.

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"You Should Date My Nephew"
"433-6296". Wayne mouthes to himself. He visualizes the little slip of lined paper that's taped to the wall above their phone at home. 433-6296. He could call. But he wont.
Wayne grunts as he lowers himself to sit on the curb outside the plant. He got off work --he pushes up the sleeve of his jacket to check his watch-- 36 minutes ago. It's 3:36 am and god dammit Eddie how many times did he remind the kid to set his alarm. How many times did Wayne remind Eddie that his truck was in the shop and that he'd need a ride home in the morning. And every single time he'd mention it, Eddie responded "I got it old man! I'll set an alarm" with an exasperated eye roll and would go back to whatever he was doing. Wayne has tried calling the trailer a dozen times already and damn that boy for being such a heavy sleeper.
433-6296. Wayne could probably solve his problem with a single call, but that would be completely inconsiderate and borderline inappropriate, so he wont. A gust of cold November wind hits Wayne unforgivingly in the face and makes his eyes water. He pulls a pack of camels from his chest pocket and with stiff, shaky hands, lights one. 433-6296. He could call or he could walk home. The walk wasn't easy in ideal weather when Wayne was fully rested. Right now it was freezing, Wayne didn't have his good jacket, and he just finished an eight hour shift. 433-6296. Fuck it.
Wayne stands up and hurries toward the phone before he can talk himself out of this. It's insane, and he knows the poor kid barely sleeps as it is. Knows from Eddie that he'll pick up the phone anytime Eddie has a nightmare and drive over to talk him out of the bad dream, keep him company, or fall asleep on the floor of Eddie's bedroom so his nephew doesn't have to go back to sleep alone in a haunted trailer. 433-6296 Wayne dials and waits with baited breath.
The phone rings a handful of times before a quiet voice greets him on the other side of the line.
"H'llo? Eds?"
"Uh hi Steve. It's Wayne?" Wayne says quietly into the phone. Steve seems to sober immediately.
"Mr. Munson? Is everything okay? Is Eddie okay?"
"Yeah no everythin's fine. I'm sure Eddie's safe and sound at home. Look, I'm real sorry to wake you, kid, and I'm sorry to even be askin' you in the first place. I know it's mighty unfair of me to call at this time but uh- My trucks in the shop and Eddie was supposed to pick me up from work forty minutes ago but I think he mighta slept through his alarm. And it's too far for an old man like me to walk. Was wondering if I might owe you a helluva favor if you could pick me up tonight, son." For a few moments there is silence. Wayne worries he has crossed a line, for a brief moment he fears he might have burnt the most important bridge in Eddie's life. He's immediately regretting waking Steve up for this. Worries Steve'll hang up and neither of them will hear from him again.
But then he hears the distinct rustling and thump of someone putting on shoes.
"Of course Mr. Munson, I'm leaving now. I'll be there as soon as I can." And Wayne is once again floored by this kid's kindness.
"Steve, thank you. I owe you son. Whatever you need."
"It's no problem! I'll see you soon."
"See you." Wayne mutters in disbelief and hangs up the phone.
And to think... Wayne used to hate Steve. The thing about Steve Harrington is that his name is haunted, in a way. And the thing about Wayne Munson is that he's a stubborn son of a bitch who will hold grudges on Eddie's behalf longer than the kid himself will. There were countless days in high school when instead of shooting through the front door of the trailer after school with a devilish smile and music blasting from his headphones, Eddie would turn the knob slowly and he'd drag himself into the trailer, giving Wayne a small nod before disappearing into his room quietly. Wayne felt like crying or punching something when Eddie came home in low spirits. He knew how evil the kids at school could be, and he knew the names of all the bad ones. Wayne always gave Eddie 10 minutes of quiet before he'd knock on his door and gently ask if he wanted to talk. It was a routine they had. He'd ask and Eddie would say no. But then like clockwork, Eddie would open up about his day later in the evening usually while they ate dinner and before Wayne left for work. He'd complain about all the kids that made him feel bad: Hagan, Harrington, Perkins, Hargrove, Carver, and so many more.
So imagine Wayne's surprise on March 27, 1986 when he briefly left Eddie's hospital room to get coffee and returned to Steve Harrington, the bully son of Richard and Nicole, sitting next to his nephew's hospital bed. It had been a long week of worrying on Wayne's part, and an emotional 48 hours spent at Eddie's bedside, so Wayne had very little patience for whatever was happening in front of him. In retrospect, Steve Harrington was looking at Eddie... sweet and tenderly, even back then. But in the moment all he could think about was Eddie returning from school with hunched shoulders and his head hung low.
"'The hell are you doing here?" Wayne asked using his gruffest and most intimidating voice, arms crossed, standing in the doorway. The way that Steve startled was like nothing like Wayne had ever seen. He jumped a foot into the air and folded into himself.
"Oh! Mr. Munson. I'm sorry I didn't know you were around. Just, uh, didn't want him to be alone in case he woke up." Steve had said rising from his seat. When Wayne didn't budge from the doorway or respond, Steve nervously fiddled with the zipper of his jacket.
"How do you know Eddie?" Wayne asked trying to keep his firm tone.
"From high school sir. But also through a mutual friend. Dustin Henderson? They play DND together. Dustin and I brought him in after we found him like this..." Steve lifted his head again gauging Wayne's still stern expression and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry sir I didn't mean to interrupt anything I'll get out of your hair."
And Wayne wanted to be skeptical of Steve, wanted to accuse him of doing this to Eddie, but the truth is that Steve sounded painfully earnest. And there's no human explanation for the tiny bite marks all over Eddie's body. Wayne stepped out of the doorway and let Steve take a few steps down the hallway before calling out to him.
"Hey Harrington?" Steve turned around quickly, looking back with a startled expression, maybe surprised that Wayne knew his name at all. "D'ja see what happened? I mean d'ya know anythin about what hurt him?" Wayne asked more softly. Steve looked around the crowded hallway, with nurses buzzing from door to door. Steve shook his head slightly, apologized, and continued down the hallway.
But Steve didn't stay out of his hair for long. The kid was exasperatingly persistent in being around for Eddie. And while Wayne kept a watchful eye on him, he was starting to get the idea that Steve Harrington was not who Wayne thought he was. He cooked for, cleaned after, and tended to Eddie, asking for nothing in return. Often refusing to stay for dinner when Wayne was home, even if he was the one who cooked it, because he didn't want to interrupt family time. If he brought food from out he always brought something for Wayne, and never took the money Wayne tried to push into his hands for it.
"Here Mr. Munson. I wasn't sure what you wanted from the diner, but Eddie said you're not picky so I brought you a burger and fries." Steve had said that first time, holding out a bag in front of him.
"You brought me food?" Wayne asked perplexed.
"Well yeah of course. I wouldn't have shown up with dinner for just me and Eddie." Steve set Wayne's bag on the counter when he made no move to take it.
By now Steve knew Wayne and Eddie's order at pretty much every food place in Hawkins and Wayne and Eddie were getting real creative at finding ways to slip money into Steve's wallet.
On top of that, almost every other day, Wayne gets home from work to find a maroon bmw parked outside his place while Steve helps Eddie through bad dreams. So what could Wayne be, besides grateful, for Steve Harrington's slightly confusing devotion to his kid?
He's snapped out of his thoughts when said maroon bmw pulls up in front of him. Steve is wearing a pair of wired glasses and his hair is all ruffled from sleep. Wayne opens the passenger door.
"You were waiting for forty minutes in the cold? Why didn't you call sooner?" Steve asked pushing up his glasses as Wayne closes the door quickly. And well... Wayne doesn't know how to respond to that.
"I- I shouldn'ta had to call you in the first place, Steve. I'm real sorry" Wayne says as Steve pulls the car out of park and starts driving back towards the trailer park. Wayne glances over at Steve waiting for the kid to say something. They sit in heavy silence until Steve breaks it by clearing his throat.
"Just... I know you're probably mad at Eddie but- but don't yell at him. He's barely sleeping so he really just needs the rest. It's not his fault." Steve ends on a whisper.
A tidal wave of different emotions rip through Wayne. Affection for Steve's caring nature, immense gratitude that Eddie has someone like Steve in his life, disbelief that Steve would say something like that after being woken at nearly 4 in the morning. Wayne was sitting and staring at the most selfless kid he'd ever met. Steve fucking Harrington.
"You should date my nephew."
Steves eyes widen and the car swerves.
"Uh- s-sorry- what?" Steve stammers.
"If I could choose someone for him, the best option out there, I'd choose you." Wayne says honestly, and he didn't even know he'd been thinking it until this moment. But it's so true. After so many heartbreaks over truly terrible men that Wayne could never see the appeal of, Eddie deserves someone like Steve. Steve face softens before checking to make sure Wayne was being sincere. Steve cracks a smile and chuckles to himself.
"What you think I'm jokin'?" Wayne asks defensively.
"No sir! Not at all. It's just Eddie and I have been dating for months already. BUT- but- thank you for saying that! It means so much to me and truly Eddie's the best thing-"
"You- what?" Suddenly Wayne is embarrassed. Blushing. How'd he... how'd he miss that? And well, he did have a few moments where he thought the two of them were awfully close for a pair of young men, at least one of which who was openly queer, but they'd been through a lot together.
"Why did no one tell me?" Wayne asks turning his face away from Steve who is desperately fighting a huge grin and losing.
"We thought you knew. We sleep in the same bed every night."
"You do what now? Thought you were sleepin' on the floor" Wayne knows he sounds like the protective dad of a teenage girl and not the uncle to an adult man, but his world was just turned sideways. Steve laughs at that and adjusts his glasses before stopping at the red traffic light which almost immediately turns green because no one is out at this hour.
"Oh well. Good, I'm glad then." Wayne says after his mind has stopped spinning. "And call me Wayne already, you basically live at my house." He punches Steve lightly in the shoulder.
"Okay." Steve agrees quietly. He pulls into Forest Hills and stops the car in front of the trailer. "Mind if I just check to make sure he's okay before I leave? For peace of mind?" Wayne opens the door and steps out.
"Oh so now you're playing coy about sharing a bed? Just sleep here, kid" Wayne closes the door and heads towards the house. Steve jogs a little to catch up. When they open the door, the sound of an obnoxious alarm comes pouring out from the back of the trailer which concerns both of them. But when Steve hurries to Eddie's room he sees that the idiot had fallen asleep with music blasting in his headphones. Wayne stops the alarm as Steve gently tries to remove the headphones from his ears pausing the tape inside.
Eddie suddenly stirs and blinks up at Wayne and Steve looking down at him.
"'S going on?" He croaks, rubbing his eyes. Wayne and Steve share a look before Wayne chuckles and pats Steve on the back once before thanking him and wishing him a good night on the way out. After the door closes behind Wayne, Eddie looks back up at Steve. "What's going on baby? What happened?"
Steve slips into the bed and scoffs, fondly. He curls around Eddie and pulls him into his chest. Once they've settled, Steve pushes his fingers through Eddie's until they're all intertwined.
"Did you forget something, Bambi? Was there someone you had to pick up from work at 3 in the morning?" Steve whispers into his neck. Suddenly Eddie shoots up and dislodges Steve where he was leaning against him. Steve groans.
"Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit"
"Eddie it's okay c'mere. He's home now, it's all good babe." But Eddie just stares at the wall and pulls a hand through his hair. "No one is mad, just come back here. Let's sleep." And Eddie hesitantly lies back down.
"Did Uncle Wayne have to call you? I'm so fucking sorry Stevie." Eddie asks, sounding embarrassed.
"We had a nice conversation on the way home so it all worked out. You're okay. Sleeeeep."
And right before they both fall asleep, Eddie whispers, "Thanks Stevie, love you."
Steve can do the cherry stem trick, because of course he can. Of course he can
He spent a stupid amount of time when he was younger trying to learn how to do it; ate a ridiculous number of cherries and just sort of started sticking them stem and all into his mouth, eating the cherry, and then working on the stem. He has 100% forgotten itâs not just a thing people do, so now thatâs just kind of how he eats them - puts the whole thing in his mouth, eats the cherry, and ties a knot in the stem the same way someone might fiddle with a twist tie
The first time Eddie sees him do this, he sees Steve stick the fruit in his mouth without removing the stem and just start chewing and itâs like
Eddie: Did you just eat the⌠Steve, absently pulling a knotted cherry stem out of his mouth: Sorry, what? Eddie: Eddie: How are you even a real person
He spends the next three to five business days trying to get the thought out of his head. Heâs absolutely disgusted with himself; itâs such a stereotypical flirting trick, itâs such a move, but for some reason itâs fucking working on him
(Robin has lowkey been waiting for Eddie to find out about this. She saw Steve do it multiple times with the maraschino cherries when they worked at Scoops and thought he was flirting with her at first before she realized he just⌠Does That. Like a weirdo.)
Joel bring your little secret admirer and stealing glances at you when he thinks youâre not looking but you can feel it đ¤
stolen looks
joel miller x male reader
content: just a whole lot of teasing, puppy dog eyed joel miller... thank you for the request! i really enjoyed this
it all began when tommy was showing joel around the camp, and you were returning from patrol.
as you rode in, you took charge, the appointed leader of the group. your rugged appearance only added to your charm, and some would argue that the dirt on your face and the scruff on your chin made you even more handsome.
people in jackson city couldn't help but talk about you from time to time. you were single, good looking and had a playful nature and people ate that up in here.
joel's eyes were practically glued onto you as you dismounted from the horse, patting your comrades on the back as a job well done. "who's that?" he couldn't resist asking.
Robin is positive that Steve isn't straight. At first, she thought she was projecting. Maybe she just wanted to share another aspect of herself with her best friend, but no. She's very confident now. The way Steve acts sometimes makes it so obvious. He's listened to her talk about how scary it is, being a lesbian in a town like Hawkins, and he talks to her about it like he undertands, even if he doesn't realize it. She roped him into watching a movie with a gay couple in it, and Steve's eyes lit up seeing two men kiss on screen. He once cracked a joke about going on a date with a guy that sounded far too sincere to be a joke. She knows, deep in the depths of her very soul, that Steve is a little bit queer.
And she could prove it if she could just figure out what his type is
She's been doing research, real genuine research into what male celebrities are considered hot. Finding movies with said supposedly hot men and making Steve watch them with her. But there's nothing! No reaction, not even the slightest blush when Harrison Ford was sweaty and shirtless right before his eyes. It isn't until she gets him to watch Rocky Horror that she finally catches something. Tim Curry in all his fishnet-clad glory brings a flush to Steve's cheeks. One that gets even worse when the character dons a leather jacket halfway through. It isn't much, but it's enough.
She mentally tallys everything about Tim Curry in that movie. Dark eyes, curls, makeup, tights, and especially the leather. She tries not to get her hopes up too high, knows that Tim Curry was wearing feminine clothes and makeup in the movie, so maybe Steve was just thrown off and confused, but it's a start at least. She makes a new list of movies, and pays close attention to his reactions.
The real breakthroughs come with The Lost Boys and The Breakfast Club. Lost Boys had been planned, one of her choices designed to illicit a response from Steve. Lots of pretty boys, some with dark curly hair, some with big dark eyes, and quite a few wearing leather jackets. Steve had been interested, to say the least, a lot more than he had in the other movies she'd shown him. The Breakfast Club was a surprise. It had been one of Steve's picks, and Robin hadn't even been paying close attention. But it was impossible to miss the way Steve's eyes shot to the screen every time John Bender was speaking.
So, Robin has an answer. Steve Harrington liked bad boys. Men with dark hair and dark eyes, clad in leather with attitude for miles. Not what she had been expecting, but she's delighted, to say the least.
The delight only grows when Eddie Munson comes into their lives, and she gets a front row seat to Steve Harrington's Big Gay Meltdown. Eddie ticks off all Steve's boxes. Dark curly hair, big brown doe eyes, leather and denim from head to toe, and he has the attitude. But he checks off other boxes too, ones Robin hadn't even realized existed. He checks off the 'great big nerd' box. Because when she thinks about it, yes. Steve surrounds himself with exclusively nerds. He checks off the 'good with kids' box effortlessly, to the point that Robin almost screams when she hears Steve telling Nancy about his six kids and a winnebago dream, because Eddie basically already has part-time custody of Steve's weird gaggle of gremlin children. He tickes off the 'queer as fuck' box too, if Robin's judgement is any good, and she was pretty sure it was. The bandana in his pocket seems like a pretty good sign, if the zines she had smuggled on a family trip to Indy were to be trusted.
Eddie Munson is perfect for Steve, in every way possible, Robin is sure of it. So needless to say, shes thrilled when Steve finally, FINALLY pulls her into the crappy little bathroom at Family Video and asks her how she realized she was gay. This is going to be the start of a beautiful little journey for them both, Robin is going to welcome it with open arms.
First part to this prompt I posted the other day. This is gonna be eventual steddie (sorry, stonathan) and Iâm really excited. Title from the song ânonsenseâ by Sabrina Carpenter.
I think I got an ex but I forgot him
If he heard the words: Robin and in love, in the same sentence, with the melodious voice of one Dustin Henderson, one more time. Steve was sure he was gonna lose it.
Listen, he understands where heâs coming from. The kid just wants him to be happy. But he is! Dustin just doesnât seem to get that. Happiness doesnât only come in the form of a relationship. His teenage brain canât comprehend that fact just yet. He wishes he did though, because heâs absolutely insufferable about getting Steve and Robin together.
No excuse or explanation he gives is good enough. Dustin still insists that he needs to try, that this is his chance at true love. Robin is kind of the love of his life, sure, but the platonic love of his life. His best friend, his soulmate, sister from another mister. All that jazz. Dustin doesnât buy it though.
And Steveâs tried everything! He even told Dustin about that time in starcourt when they were high off his asses. Told him that he confessed his crush to Robin but that she rejected him, and that they were best friends now and nothing else. He obviously left out the part where Robin came out to him. Heâs never gonna reveal Robinâs secret to anyone. The only answer he got was that âIt doesnât even matter now! Things couldâve changed! You never know.â Steve knew. He knew that he would never be into his best friend like that, and she would never be into him. Apparently they were the only ones who knew that.
Because of all the fuss Dustin was constantly making, other people started giving their input. Thanks Dustin. They didnât get it either, didnât believe they were just Platonic with a capital P. They made sure they knew it too, the whole party, Nancy, Jonathan, Eddie. Not Argyle, he said that the energy between Steve and Robin was intense but completely friendly, almost like they were twins. Steve liked Argyle. Of course he had to be miles away.
Most of their friends dropped the subject after the second time Steve or Robin explained the nature of their relationship. Even if they werenât convinced, they didnât push. Except for one person. Yep. Dustin.
Who was currently harassing Steve at his job. He didnât know what else to tell him. If family video wasnât empty he would just ignore him to do his job but there was nothing to do. He couldnât even sweep or anything because everything was already done.
âOkay well! There must be a good reason why you guys havenât gotten together!â Dustin exclaimed. He is so fucking stubborn.
âI already told you, Henderson. Weâre. Just. Friends.â He knew it wasnât gonna do anything. It was just a routine at this point.
Dustinâs expression changed to determination. âNuh uh. Thereâs a reason there. And Iâm gonna find out!â Shit. Could Dustin figure out Robin? He doesnât think so. But heâs starting to panic. What if he finds out? Robin doesnât deserve that. Heâd feel like it was his fault, and everything would go to shit.
âOkay! Okay! There is a reason.â
âI knew it! You have to tell me.â Dustin demanded. Well, Steve hasnât thought that much ahead. He needs to come up with something and he needs to do it fast if Dustin is gonna believe it.
âLook, I havenât told anyone this before.â Building suspense, nice.
Then, an idea popped into his head and it seemed like the perfect response to all of this. Or maybe itâs the only thing he could think of in such short notice. âIâm gay.â He blurts out. It made sense in his head, really. Robin doesnât get outed, but she can still look at the reaction she might get when she comes out. (It doesnât hold any kind of truth at all. Not one Steve can see right now at least.)
Dustin is just staring at him. âWhat? I donât, youâre not, since when?â
âSince I was born?â It sounds like a question. Steve didnât prepare for follow up questions to the reply he literally just crafted.
âThereâs no way youâre gay.â At least he didnât seem disgusted or upset? Is this a good or bad reaction?
âAre you not okay with it?â Steve dared to ask.
âWhat?! Of course Iâm okay with it, Iâm just. I donât care, but you donât really seem gay. Itâs hard to believe.â At least heâs okay with it. Heâs still being stubborn.
âWay to stereotype, Henderson.â
Dustin sputters. âWha- can you even blame me? Who could believe you?â
The next words that came out of Steveâs mouth didnât actually ask for permission to be said. âMy boyfriend can believe it.â He said it so matter of fact that he surprised himself a little. The way he usually took the route of action before thinking was gonna bite him in the ass some day. Would that be today?
âBoyfriend?!! And you didnât tell me? You donât have a boyfriend!â He accused Steve. âWho is it?â
Oh. Shoot. Quick, brain. Who could be his boyfriend? Someone his age, that was single, and could be believed to be in a gay relationship.
âItâs Jonathan.â Why did he say that? He just broke up with Nancy, that would just seem like a messy situation. Also is he literally just doing what he scolded Dustin for and stereotyping?
âBut he just broke up with Nancy.â Hmm. Did Dustin read his mind or something.
âItâs new. Thatâs why I havenât told anyone.â
âNot even Robin?â Oh, crap. Is he gonna have to tell this to people? Well, he should probably tell Jonathan first that he is apparently in a relationship with him now.
âNot even Robin.â Dustin beamed at this.
âYou know, even if you and Jonathan are kind of a weird sounding couple, and this is surprising⌠if youâre happy then Iâm happy for you, Steve.â That was weirdly sweet of Dustin.
âThanks, bud.â
After that and renting a movie, Dustin was on his way. He gave Steve a hug goodbye and hopped on his bike to go home.
Steve had a lot of things to get done now. And he hoped that the first one went well because he didnât really have a plan B if it didnât. What had he gotten himself into?
First things first. Asking Jonathan to be his fake boyfriend.
At least for a while.
What could go wrong?
-
Step 1. Get Jonathan to be his fake boyfriend.
Step 2. Probably get Robin in on it?
Heâs not sure about that one. This situation was kind of embarrassing, heâd rather just share his embarrassment with the one person who is absolutely necessary. Also Robin doesnât seem like the type to lie to their friends. Even if it was harmless.
Step 2. Probably get Robin in on it?
Step 2. Make a game plan.
Theyâd probably need to talk about how this was gonna go. Get all their facts straight in case there were any questions, which there were going to be. Plan how long this was gonna be for. He was getting a bit ahead of himself, but there was no plan B.
Step 3. Hope itâs believable.
He was already outside of the Hopper-Byers home. This shouldnât be hard, Jonathan is a pretty understanding guy. He wouldnât judge Steve, or make fun of him. At least thatâs what Steve hoped. Theyâve been developing a friendship for a while. Which has been going surprisingly well. Fuck. Was this gonna mess it up?
He got out of his car and walked to the door, knocking. El answered the door, she gave him a smile and let him in.
âIs Jonathan home?â Him asking for Jonathan wasnât a rare occurrence nowadays, so El just nodded and pointed to his room.
He knocked to make his presence known. âHey, Jon?â He opened the door and stepped inside the room.
âHiya. Whatâs up, Harrington?â Jonathan grinned at Steve. Ah. Shit. He didnât look completely sober. Mustâve smoked something earlier.
âWell, I wanted to talk to you. Iâd rather wait until you sober up though.â Jonathan just gave him a thumbs up.
âHappy to have company.â Steve knew Jonathan was having trouble dealing with the break up. They had been together for a while and he thought that those two were gonna beat all the odds and marry each other or something. Maybe they still could find their way back to each other someday. Right now though, it probably sucked.
Nancy was off to college, Jonathan stayed here in Hawkins doing community college. There was no way of knowing how Nancy was taking it, she barely called and when she did it was kinda cut and dry. Although Steve supposed that was a way of telling she wasnât doing so good either.
They hung out, doing nothing in particular. Just talking, listening to music and Steve sobering him up.
âDid you say you wanted to talk about something?â Jon asked. He looked sober now. Or as sober as his perpetual stoner face could look.
âYeah⌠I kinda did something stupid.â
âDonât we all.â Cute. Was he trying to make him feel better? It wouldâve worked if what he did wasnât as stupid as it was.
âNo, seriously. I think this is the dumbest thing I have done.â Understatement.
âIt canât be that bad.â Jonâs words werenât aligned with his face because it looked like he was starting to worry.
âIt has something to do with you too.â With those words, Steve definitely made Jonathan start to worry. âHear me out first!â
Retelling the events from earlier was excruciating. Steve has never felt this embarrassed before. It sounded so dumb saying it out loud.
âYou really couldnât come up with anything else? Like oh I donât know. Saying you donât like Robin like that?â It was like he wasnât even listening.
âI tried that thousands of times! He wouldnât buy it!â
âWhy havenât you just dated anyone else? To prove that youâre not hung up on her?â Interesting line of questioning. Honestly, itâs been a long time since someone has made him feel anything at all. No girl caught his attention like before. Has the upside down messed him up so bad that he canât form romantic connections anymore?
âI just, I donât really. Taking a break from dating sounded good to me.â
âUh huh. Sure.â Jon didnât believe him, whatever.
âLook I just panicked, spoke without thinking.â
âYou know, I actually thought that Dustin was right about you and Robin before. But if youâre so determined to prove youâre not, to even come up with something like that.â Steve hated this. Was Jonathan getting a kick out of this?
âAre you amused? Iâm kinda suffering here.â Steve lamented. âCan you just please help me?
âOh god, what do you expect me to do? Pretend to date you to get Dustin off your back?â Yes. Please.
âLook! I only ask for a few weeks! It doesnât have to be for long. Just, a few weeks of fake dating and then just say it didnât work out and we decided to stay friends. All that cheesy stuff.â God, he was not being convincing at all.
Jonathan still looked skeptical. But at least he was considering it now. âIâll owe you, big time. Whatever favor you want.â Steve offered.
Jon looked resigned now. He huffed out a breath. âI never thought my first boyfriend was gonna be Steve Harrington.â
âWhat?â
âYeah. I always pictured a nerd or maybe a stoner.â He was confused now. Was Jonathan? âYes, Steve. You should probably know if weâre gonna do this. I also like guys. And Iâm assuming youâre okay with it, considering what you just asked.â
âOf course! Thanks for telling me. Iâm glad you could trust me.â He was being genuine. Even if Steve was a little surprised, and now felt even more guilty about words he used in the past to insult Jonathan. All the past apologies seemed insufficient. Even so, he was happy that their friendship could develop into this.
âSo? How is this gonna work? You really owe me now, you know.â
âTrust me, I know.â
So their friendship wasnât ruined. Who knows? Maybe this could make it stronger.

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Steve lost confidence after Nancy and now cannot comprehend blatant flirting. Like he can flirt with someone if he starts it but if heâs not initiating? Heâs clueless.
The Corroded Coffin boys have a very unserious bet going to see who can get Steve to finally realize heâs being flirted with because Eddieâs been trying for months without success.
Gareth brings him homemade food and tells him how good he looks.
Jeff makes them learn his favorite song so they can play it for him on stage.
Freddie even brings him flowers and Steve just turned bright red and stutters out a confused thank you.
The three of them are at wits end after a few weeks and finally all traipse into Family Video when they know just Robin is on shift by herself to ask her what the fuck is wrong with him.
She laughs so hard she nearly falls off the counter. When she collects herself finally she explains that after everything, his idea of friendship includes all the this stuff.
Flower, and affection and attention? All things that Steve does for her and anyone he loves. Fuck, I mean they sleep in the same bed half the time!
âHonestly guys, short of someone marching up to him and telling him that they wanna take him out on a date and make out with him, heâs not going to assume anything.â
This leaves the group in kind of a state of confusion, Eddie managing to look completely lost in thought.
It all comes to a head during their next band practice.
Steve joins them like he always does when he doesnât have work, letting himself into the garage and flopping onto the couch with Gareth and Freddie.
He automatically tosses his feet over Freddieâs lap, tucking his head into Garethâs lap in a blatant excuse to let Gareth run his fingers through his hair.
Eddie is running late, so theyâre all just waiting when Gareth canât hold it in any longer.
âAre you as dense about people flirting with you as Robin says or are you deliberately ignoring it? I can never tell.â He feels bad now because Steve has stiffened under his finger.
âWhat do you mean? Whoâs been flirting with me?â
All three boys start to laugh but it makes Steve shrink further into himself.
âNo, no. Iâm sorry, we are being assholes Steve. But honestly weâve been flirting with you for weeks! Freddie brought you handpicked flowers, Iâve been making you cookies and Jeff serenaded you on stage!â Gareth is trying not to notice as Steveâs face flushes deeper and deeper. âThatâs not to mention everything about Eddie.â
Steve is quiet for a moment, voice sad as he asks them if they only were being nice to him because they were flirting with him.
Garethâs heart breaks a bit as he assures Steve that they were only really trying to make him feel loved and were being silly.
âWe wouldnât have done any of that if we didnât wanna be friends with you, babe. You just get really cute when youâre flirted with and weâre all only men. Canât resist a pretty face.â
Gareth is interrupted by Eddie busting into the room wearing a tee shirt that proudly proclaims âPLEASE MAKE OUT WITH ME STEVE IM VERY INTO YOU!â
Steve very easily pulls himself upright, launching himself into Eddieâs arms with a grin, dragging their mouths together in a very loud kiss that gets the whole room cheering.
âIâve been waiting for you for months, Munson.â Steve says, loud enough for the whole room to hear.
Gareth groans and throws a pillow off the couch, pegging it off Steveâs back.
âDonât even act like heâs not been flirting with you for months! Itâs not that manâs fault youâre dense!â
"A wife?"
-- Pairings: Joel Miller x Male Reader
Genre: Spicy-ish, Fluff
Characters: Joel Miller, Ellie Williams, M/n L/n
Warnings: Making out if that counts as a warning
Other notes: I find the idea of Ellie catching Joel and his boyfriend funny, so here we are. Extra character, your son who's good friends with Ellie. --
"Fuck, I miss music."
Ellie sighs, falling onto the couch next to your son, Matthew. Joel and Ellie came across you and Matthew not to long ago. Seeing that Ellie and Matthew became friends extremely fast, being the same age and having somewhat similar personalities you figured it was best to give Matthew some normalcy in his life and spend his time with a friend. You were a little worried about their friendship at first, your first thought as a father while your son hung out with the opposite sex alarmed you. Then Ellie had let you in on one of her little secrets.
"I'm a lesbian." She says to you quietly, crossing her arms. Your mouth makes the shape of an 'O' and you nod. "Thank god." You mutter. Ellie chuckles. "You're cool with that?" She asks, a little defensive. You shrug. "Not my business, besides I've had my fair share in men. Never really cared too much about gender and all that." You explain, seemingly making Ellie a lot more comfortable with you. She talks to you about girls every now and then, and you agree finding it a funny commonality with her.
That was months ago, you and Ellie had gotten very close where you feel like she's your daughter. Though you weren't sure if she saw you as a father figure considering Joel was in the picture. Ah, Joel. A very closed up, hollow, Jewish man. You always found him attractive, though you never really thought about it much. You never found time to think about it. You were always trying to care for Matthew, now you had Ellie.
You and Joel could be considered their fathers, and you think Matthew had caught onto that as well. Matthew was like your best friend in a way, he knew everything about you and vise versa. You guys always talked despite being father and son, and some fathers and sons have boundaries. You guys would talk as if you were friends. You guessed the break out made you guys even closer.
"So..." Matthew begins, you turn your head from the magazines that were full of women who had little clothes and were posed against cars. You hum in response. "What's up with you and Joel?" He asked, feeling like he broke the ice. "What's up with us?" You ask, as if you haven't been thinking about him when you went hunting...
..before you went to sleep...
..in the shower.
"I smell some guarded romance from two guarded men." He jokes, setting his elbows on his knees and leaning over to you. "I didn't know you knew other people." You say, trying your hardest not to laugh. "C'mon man!" He shouts, throwing his hands in the air. You close your magazine and turn to him. "I'm a interested in Joel, yes." You admit. Your son smiles, then lays his back on the couch. "You guys are already like our Dads, might as well fuck and get it over with." He smirks. You hit his leg with the magazine. "No cursing!"
Now you were trying to fully figure out how you felt about Joel. Was Joel even into guys? You knew he was previously with Tess, god bless her poor soul. So he's into girls for sure, there's still a chance.
That's when all of a sudden you bump into --
"Ah- Shit, sorry Joel." You apologize.
"No worries." He says calmly. "What are you up to?" He asks, you find it hard to pay attention to what he's saying. Fuck, yeah you were super into him.
"Oh, I was just talking to Matthew." You say, cracking your knuckles excessively. He notices this and grabs your hands, stopping you from what you were doing. "Relax." He says. You do as he says, or attempts to and he leaves to sit in the kitchen. You follow him there, watching him closely.
"Can I ask you somethin, Miller?" He nods. You notice Matthew and Ellie were in the other room, probably reading comics together that you saved for Matthew himself. "How do you feel about me, as a person." You weren't exactly hinting at what you wanted to say, but just stayed steady with the confession if you were ever going to get to it. "Where's this comin' from?" He asks, pouring water into his cup. "Just a thought." You say.
"Well I think you're a very fine man. You're respectful and nice to my Ellie, and you're a good father to your own. I respect you for that. You're a funny guy too, you know how to deal with tough situations. A problem solver. You need a guy like that in this shit we're stuck in."
You smile and walk up closer to him. "Ya think?" You take the cup from him and take a sip. He chuckles and nods. "What about you? What do you think of me." You snicker. "Like you care about what I think of you, you ain't that type of guy." He smirks and leans on the counter. "Some people I care about to know what they think of me. Hopefully yours isn't negative." Oh, it was anything but negative. "I personally think..." You begin.
"That you're a very strong and protective man. You're closed off but you're smart about what you close off. You're old so you obtain wisdom-" He chuckles again at that, letting his head drop. You smile and continue. "And your hair looks real damn good for having over 30 near death experiences." You finish. "Why thank you, darlin'." Your face goes red and your smile gets bigger. "You're very welcome, sir."
"What? Never been called 'darlin' before?" He says, keeping a smile on his face. You laugh. "No, no I haven't. My wife would call me honey."
"Wife?" He questioned. You look up at him. "Yeah, how do you think I got Matthew?" You chuckle nervously. "Oh, I figured it was another way. I thought you had a husband." He says, seeming a little awkward now. "No, I should have though. I'm a lot better with men than I am with women." You joke. Joel seemed confused now, which made you confused.
You stop his train of thought with, "I'm bisexual." Which makes him make a silent "Ah." You figured this was finally a way to figure his swinging situation out. "You?" He looks up at you the same way you did when he asked you about his wife. "I don't mind, I guess the term would be bisexual. I never cared for labels like that." You felt your heart exploded and you let out a, "Oh thank fucking god." Which he heard.
"Oh?" He walks over closer to you and you cover your mouth. "I didn't mean to let that slip out." He got closer. "Fuck, heyyyy Joelllll.." You sing nervously. "Oh thank fucking god?" He repeats. "That's gotta mean somethin' right, I'm no fool." You gulp. "No, no you're not." You whisper. He's ready to lean in at this point. Fuck were you even ready to have another moment of intimacy with someone other than your own hand? Who cares, take this chance. You put your hands on his cheeks and slowly lean in until you both meet each others lips.
You couldn't believe your stupid conversation actually worked. You thought it would take so much more time to get with him. Now you're making out with him, which you realize is a lot more aggressive than you thought it would be. He's pressed up against you, crotch to crotch against the kitchen counter. His hands on your hips while yours were around his neck. Everything felt so comforting. Finally, something new.
You feel his hands go lower, squeezing your ass which made you whine and tilt your head more into the kiss. You engulfed your fingers in his weirdly soft hair. His hands were all over you, his leg moved between your legs. You grunted and let go, needing to let out a noise that wasn't covered up. "Fuck, ah- Joel-" He pressed harder, naturally making you moan out this time and shoving your head into the crook of his neck. Joel took this opportunity to attack your neck, making it look completely unprofessional and very much not child friendly to look at. "Joel please." You whisper, realizing how sensitive you actually were. "Mmh, you wanna take this further?" He asks softly. You nod and feel him pick you up. Just as you were about to leave with him and never return out of his bedroom, both kids walked in.
"Woah." "Jesus Christ."
Ellie and Matthew both stepped back and saw you in Joel's arms and Joel who had hoisted you up.
"There's no straight explanation to this."