yikes™

cat laziness is so contagious. you'll see your cat flopped on its back in your bed a completely comfy cozy baby and you'll be like. you're right. you make a compelling argument.

Fucking hate pet rent.  You want my cat to pay rent?  She is a cat.  Cats don’t have jobs.  Idiot.

Excuse me? What, and I can not overstate this enough, the fuck is pet rent?

The US is hostile to both human and animal life

how the fuck is march almost over???? wasn’t it just valentines day?? wasn’t it just new years???? wasn’t it just christmas???? wasn’t it just treat yo self day???? didn’t man just go to the moon in 1969????? life is so crazy

took a nap and Came Back Wrong

she’s just so beautiful (my libby app)

25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

Omg someone FINALLY put it into WORDS

not to sound like a victorian woman suffering from hysteria but i do think going to the sea would fix me

Item: Big Wizard Hat

@imaginationshow care to, ah, toss your hat into the ring? ;)

Holy shit yeah that’s a hat

@evilwizard there's been a lot of talk about high wizard hats, but what do those brims mean for wizard hierarchy?

greater height implies a better ranking in the wizard council. greater width is correlated to more magical knowledge. ive heard of wizards whose hats grew so large they became libraries