Hey ok I haven’t ranted in a MINUTE but I’m pissed.  Stranger Things spoilers, ahead, weirdly.

It all started when some shipper was like Mike was in love the whole time, wasn’t he???  And with like a picture of them from the first season when they were 11 years old.  And maybe I didn’t express myself so clearly, but I said that full grown adults shipping literal children gives me the ick.  Really not a controversial statement in my view.  So naturally, the internet spent the entire weekend calling me a homophobe.  “OH WELL, you must think mike and 11 are gross too?”  LITERALLY YES DON’T SHIP CHILDREN.  In my bewilderment, I posted the same thing to my asexuality group, one of the most accepting group I know, a group that accepts a ‘relationship’ with a fictional character as a valid sexuality without BLINKING, thinking they would understand, or at least give me a clearer perspective.  Nope, same thing ‘these are both boys so you’re a homophobe.  (I deleted that one, thinking it would help get my mind off it--it did not)

I’m trying to treat this as a thought experiment.  I could probably write a small book on why it set me off, how no 11 year old has ever been ‘in love’ (even if they think they are) because they are not mature enough to understand it, how impressing the adult idea of a relationship on a child (regardless of sexuality) isn’t right, how the ‘ooohhhh do you have a little boyfriend’ culture led me, as an ace person, to feel alienated and broken from a young age.  But nobody gives a fuck what I think if they can call me hateful names instead.  

It’s funny, because what could I possibly say to convince them?  I have a gay friend?  I’m part of the queer community myself?  Nah.  There’s nothing you could do, even if you felt the need to.  And not to sound like a boomer, but it’s a big issue in society today.

So I’m already sore about this, I saw this clickbait article on a ‘crazy stranger things theory’ which was my first mistake ok.  Someone said that because there was a poster of Karen (mikes mom) with Henry Creel/Vecna’s house in the background, she must be connected!  She must be Alice Creel!  Except Alice...is DEAD.  It wasn’t a small detail either--like it was a major plot point.  We see her on the ground, crushed to death by her own brother (Vecna).  

After writing, and even reiterating that alice is dead, so bozo has the nerve to go “It’s Karen, Mike’s mom”.  ALICE.  ALICE IS DEAD ALICE IS DEAD.  I don’t know how to make it clearer than that?

well did you miss me? walk on water just to kiss me oh come and get me  drag me out, destroy me