Fuckery Central

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

mutuals if you were a video game character I would do every step of your questline and get your good ending

What would you do with non mutuals? Cause speedrunners are always killing me for my crystal scythe before doing my quest

Well now that I know you have a crystal scythe I'm definitely killing you for your crystal scythe

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

the small stinker spends time with me on the couch

i think people should be nicer to schizophrenics

saying this because i've literally been subjected to panopticons and moral saw traps and had my every action examined and monitored my whole life and i just want to relax for once

HE KILLED HIM

the small stinker spends time with me on the couch

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them

The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature

When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.

God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.