Things I didn't know before I realized that it was abuse:
It's not healthy for their mood to determine whether it's a good or bad day.
It's not healthy to normalize being treated badly when they're in a bad mood.
It's ok to expect them to treat you well even when they're in a bad mood.
It's not your responsibility to regulate their emotions.
You shouldn't have to be more concerned about whether they're happy with you than you are about your own happiness.
You should be able to make mistakes without being afraid of how they'll react.
It's not healthy for them to "make you pay" when they're upset with you.
You shouldn't have to say things "just right" for them to listen to you.
It's not healthy for them to shut you down and refuse to listen any time you tell them something they don't want to hear.
It's not healthy to be afraid of talking to them.
It's not healthy to be afraid of talking to your friends (or other people) about them.
Things like screaming at you, degrading you, and giving you the silent treatment aren't normal, and not everyone fights like that.
They shouldn't put hands on you in anger, even if they aren't hitting you.
They shouldn't touch you without consent, even if they're "just" trying to give you a hug.
If they try to make you feel guilty for saying no, that is still a violation of your consent.
Your body autonomy is non-negotiable and that includes choices about what you eat and what you do with your appearance.
Boundaries are not a debate.
You don't have to be available to them at all times; your time and energy should be respected.
You aren't selfish for wanting personal time and space for yourself.
You have a right to personal space where you aren't antagonized or harassed.
You have a right to feel emotionally and physically safe around them and in your home, at all times.
You have a right to privacy, and they aren't entitled to know about your every move.
You are capable and allowed to make decisions without their oversight.
It's not healthy for them to second guess or undermine everything you do.
Taking over things isn't the same as helping.
