× disabled: autistic (use tonetags!), possibly tourettic but not yet diagnosed to be completely sure, depression, ptsd, some neurotic shit
× writer
× punk
× metalhead: mostly black/death but enjoy other genres as well. current favs are xasthur, paysage d'hiver, aara, auðn, cryptospital, maledicted, photophobia, orbit culture, the angelic process and etc etc etc
× current fandoms and (sp) interests: arcane (especially jayvik and silco/my bestie's OC), honkai starrail, genshin impact (severe lovehate tho but kaebedo is my biggest sp interest), researching autism/tic disorders/other conditions, creative writing, my OCs <3
ALSO:
× my english sucks a bit and FUCK COMMAS
× been on and off here since 2017 but needed to make a new blog so I'M A REAL HUMAN BEING OKAY
× don't dm me. I won't answer and it makes me uncomfortable. if it will be ok for you to dm me I'll let you know personally
× sending asks with personal questions is okay but not anonymously
× support pro-/com-/dark-/whatever ship bc I'm HIGHLY anti-censorship so keep it in mind
× if you're a terf/transmed/racist/ableist/queerphobic/fascist/right-wing in general I'll eat you ALIVE.
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so how am I supposed to dig into the main reason behind my ptsd and not accidentally kill myself after re-experiencing things if possessing weed is illegal in my country, genuine question
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got in a fight with a particularly entitled mom of one of my students a few days ago and even though I find that situation hilarious (like ma'am did you really want me to show up to the lesson with a fever of 38,6°C?? the lesson with your 7 yo son who's just got better from his flu???) I still can't shake off the nasty feeling that I was bullied mostly because I'm not really good with verbal speech in real life and look nervous and all over the place in general so she decided that I'm irresponsible and "can't teach children because I don't even understand myself" :/ and yeah there are more layers to it and I already knew that she's not a really good person all in all (she even said that she works with People in different Situations so I Must Have a Pathological Fear of Responsibility™) but it's the possible ableism of that whole situation that makes me genuinely sad🙁
has been binging the magnus archives lately and aside from the corkboard I've made in obsidian trying to Connect Everything™ I realised that I really AM on the ace spectrum. not that I didn't know that before but now I feel like I just AM even more than I was yk? keep your children away from the archives otherwise THIS happens
when you're autistic and a musician so your brain sometimes is like: it's time for you to listen to dvořák's 9th adagio largo and scherzo on loop for three days straight
I used to see this image all the time in December but now literally nobody cares. We as a society have forgotten him. All he wanted was to offer us a nice treat and what did we do? We abandoned him. Hell has taken refuge in our hearts and its fires have burned to ash all warmth and love. We should be ashamed.
got a cane thinking I would use it every time I go outside but now I overthink if I reeeeeeally need it today on a daily basis and every time I end up just not using it even if I'm actually in pain :/ also I'm too self-aware and kinda ashamed about it. not bc I see it as a "deficiency" but like. I don't hurt every hour every minute every second and I can walk just fine without it and even if it hurts it's manageable and I can just take a painkiller and yada yada yada but I feel so fucking tired every day and I just want to lie down and play dead and also my hip joint is an asshole recently. end recording
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I know from personal experience that depression can make survival incredibly tough. Find any reason to keep going. You want to see the finale to your favourite show. You want to be there for your loved one's birthday. You want to finish the game you're currently playing. Something that just gets you through the day. Then the next day. Then the next, and so on. It's a struggle, but it's worth it. You can do this.
I have amblyopia and I am so confused...is it a disability? Is it not a disability? Is it considered a disability only in some cases??? What is your opinion about it?
Disability is defined as “a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities.”
Amblyopia is a visual impairment, meaning that this would fall into the category of limiting a person’s senses or activities. amblyopia is a disability, especially if it causes significant visual impairment or functional limitatioms.
While some people with very mild amblyopia may not have significant vision problems or functional limitations, most people with it do, and would be considered disabled.
So yeah, that was a lot of yapping to say it’s almost always a disability.
Anyway, thanks for the ask! Feel free to ask for more clarification!
is it weird or controversial that I don't really want to get rid of my tic disorder😔 even if my tics (especially dystonic, I have them literally all the time) can last for hours sometimes, I just don't want to. I don't want to take any medication for them, they're not really disabling, just awkward and embarrassing and sometimes painful. it feels like a good sneeze or violently scratching a mosquito bite when I tic. like this is the way for my body to release all the pent-up energy from stress I'm experiencing, especially when I get complex motor and vocal ones. it also makes me me in a sense, like it's a part of my identity along with being autistic and chronically mentally ill. idk. navigating relationships with my disabilities and accepting them as a part of myself is really confusing and embarrassing for me for some reason, especially when I feel so many complex things about them lmao
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I don’t care how disgusting or fucked up a fic is. NO writer should EVER be harassed for writing taboo fics, especially when the warnings are properly tagged and you choose to go ahead and read them on your own free will.
you’re not morally superior for harassing real people for the sake of fictional characters and fictional stories. you’re just a bully.
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