Nathan Taylor

I know how it it. I’m never one to cockblock on young love but when duty calls then I gotta respond to it. Yeah well, the sun doesn’t really shine in a jail cell so tell her that when trying to convince her of these blinds. I get that but you know how the sheriff. Every call gets answered, every rock gets unturned. That kinda thing so gotta abide by it. 

Yeah, yeah I know man. Gotta do what ya gotta do. I’m gonna start callin’ when I see her smokin’ the good shit outside. Usually I let it slide but if she wants to play, she’ll have to deal. Then the calls will stop. Shit sucks but at least I know if something bad does happen, it’ll be taken care of quickly.

Listen Taylor, first and foremost congratulations. I don’t think I had a chance to say it the many time I’ve been called to your house. Now onto your sex life, get it, man. I don’t need to hear about it and I’m sure your neighborhood doesn’t either but I can probably look past it whenever the call comes through for your address. My advice to you is just get blinds. As long as she doesn’t see anything then it’s not her business. 

Thanks man, that’s appreciated. We’re just young and in love, it’s not a crime to show it. I’ll attempt getting blinds but the wife likes how the sun shines down on her, so it might not happen. She’s nosy, she looks for it and then when it’s too much and the jealousy fills in, she calls. Old hag needs to get some.

Can’t handle a bit of crazy Taylor? That’s funny isn’t your wife like the go to for all thinks psychotic? Why not try her? —— Or better yet go play in traffic, with any luck someone will run you over and I’ll be rid of you.

You go above and beyond what crazy is. Watch what you say about my wife. I’m very good with looking both ways, so I wouldn’t be harmed.  Sorry to disappoint.

Is there a “How to handle a crazy chick” seminar I can sit through? I need to know how to deal with your multiple personalities.

Look I’m just sayin’, my girl likes to get freaky and if we choose to do it loudly, inside our patio we should be allowed. It’s not our fault the ol’ bird next door is nosy and happens to look and hear us every time. It’s her problem. Just wanted to let you know that you do not have to come knocking on our doors every time she calls ‘cause ain’t nothing wrong with a little bump and grind.

Okay... Chill out. I can’t handle crying women. It’s not you, it’s me. Do you need chocolate? When Tizi cries chocolate and money help.

.Ain’t like I wanna be here either, well all right so maybe a little but darn some of em man.. like way to make event he most patient people in school irritated with ya. — All in a day’s work.. ain’t nothin she hasn’t heard before I’m sure plenty of the teachers ‘round here say it often enough. 

Even so it’s not as bad since you’re good at the stuff. Some of them I think come to torture you guys; it’s fun to them. I tutored with the school for a minute but I quit, I was at the point of almost punching my tutorees. Now I only help out my friends if they really need it, less hassle. Yeah you’re probably right about that. She’s weirdly like a teacher’s pet but she’s not at the same time; no sucking up or any of that.

If the tip of my pen breaks one more time I’m gonna cause myself an aneurysm.

That doesn’t sound pleasant in anyway. I get the frustration though. Sometimes I need to step away after drawing for a few hours because the pencils keep breaking or dulling and it’s either quit or slam my head against the table.

Tall annoying blonde, ya sure it ain’t you lookin for your own reflection? Cause Rachel over there has a mirror, I can ask her to borrow it if you’d like. —— Don’t see why they gotta lie though, it’s like they enjoy making our lives a livin hell, gotta hand it to your sister though she has much more patience than I do. Teaching is her callin, she should consider it as a viable career choice. 

Pretty sure, but thanks for the offer... They don’t want to be here, likely, so lying and making your life a living hell makes you equal in their eyes, because both of you are then annoyed. Yeah, she has the patience of a saint. I could not deal with it without going crazy on some of these people. I’ll tell her you said that though; she’ll appreciate the suggestion.

But… You did. I’ll let you off though, your mind must be distracted from your busy week. I think the answer to that is quite obvious. True, in middle school I got voted most likely to be married before eighteen, so it wouldn’t be too far of a stretch. Excuse you! I am an angel, God himself would rise to greet me, not the Devil. 

Semantics but yes this week was distracting...I think I was voted best eyes. No one thought I’d be married before 18. But hey, if you do get married I better be there. I’d make a great speech. I don’t know. God would lock his gates, scared of you and the Devil would greet his favorite angel. You’d party with the Devil and make him look Angelic.