a sad lesbian's thoughts

now that I've had bottom surgery for a while i should get a strap and start topping again just for the prestige

Excuse me heroin addicted teenage Walmart employee can you unlock the cabinet full of things to put up my ass please

Yeah I was hoping to need to have it rescanned by one of your other employees at the self checkout as well as having it visually inspected by the elderly receipt cop as well

do not, my friends, become addicted to touching. it will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.

it will take hold of me?🥺👉👈

Fun fact: due to the ongoing financial support from the people of tumblr, critically endangered pygmy raccoons being rehabbed in Cozumel are now able to get vaccines for deadly diseases like distemper and rabies before they are released.

The funniest and most enduring legacy of dashcon.

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

Hand job vs manual labor

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.

i thought they were bees.

oh my fucking god. oh my god. it can't possibly look like that to you

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

bumper sticker on my fucked up car saying "god's favour chew toy"

womb tattoo you coward

Omg yayyy smiting!