im the king, the jester, and the court all at once

my favorite genre of humor is alt text being just completely factual and somehow reading the image for filth

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

anyone else notice how when "digital assistants" were just supposed to do specific tasks when you asked for them we had Alexa and Siri and Cortana, but now that they're being marketed as smart enough to take actions and make decisions on their own they've got names like Claude and Devin

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

I was like. Doubled over incapacitated laughing the entire time. He was really good and a big sweetheart and I felt kinda bad but I couldn’t stop thinking “why the am I getting the beatboxing puppy unskippable cutscene at the bdsm club”

*trying to come up with rules for my new society after successfully leading the revolution* why don’t we just repurpose 5e

i took a nap and woke up in all these goddam spinanch

if I ever tell you “lmk what you think if you read/play/watch it!” I am firmly inviting you to send me a play by play minute by minute cataloguing of your thoughts about The Thing

Primary election for governor of Wisconsin is August 11, and centrist Dems are working hard to make sure Hong does not win the democratic candidacy so PLEASE, IF YOU ARE IN WI, VOTE HONG.

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.