Your pronouns sound like someone clearing their throat
you guys find new ways to hate crime every day
my gender is now canceled everyone stop perceiving it

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@ituru
Your pronouns sound like someone clearing their throat
you guys find new ways to hate crime every day
my gender is now canceled everyone stop perceiving it

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PSA the "si" in shared YouTube links stand for Seal Indicator. This means there is a nefarious seal tracking your information and will give YouTube your data in exchange for fish. Please remove the part after "?si=" before you click on it or share the link with others because it is a tracking token!
This is true of any url! You can delete everything agher the ? when you share a url and it will delete all the tracking bits.
would like to add that the stuff after ? isn't always a tracking token, sometimes it contains important info for the link to actually work (e.g. it could contain the video ID). however, try opening a link without the ? string; if it works then there's no harm in getting rid of it 🦭👌
I broke a ramune bottle to get the marble out for my dragon.
The dragons face never changes, but I still feel like he looks happier in the 2nd pic 🥺
The orb delights him
“spicy pillow” jokes aside, I think @flowerkrone’s tags deserve a serious reply:
#my old phone looks like this on my shelf lmao #im too scared to touch it to throw it away #idk what trash this even goes into when its at this point
The pillow-shaped object here used to be the phone’s battery. It’s not a battery anymore. Now it’s a balloon full of corrosive, pyrophoric chemicals and hydrogen gas and it’s one puncture away from burning your house down. I am 100% serious. You should be scared to touch it.
But you gotta touch it, because you gotta get it out of your house before the pressure builds up to the point where the balloon pops. This isn’t going to happen soon – there is no need to panic – but it will happen eventually.
And, indeed, it doesn’t go in the ordinary trash. You put this in the ordinary trash and you’re gonna set the garbage truck on fire. Don’t do that to the garbage collectors, their job is hard enough already.
The first thing you need to do is get a fireproof container. The most common household item that qualifies as a fireproof container is a cast-iron cookpot with a cast-iron lid – often sold as a “Dutch oven.” Any other cooking container that’s unreactive, has a very high melting point, and has a lid made of the same materials will also work: enameled or stainless steel, Pyrex with glass lid, etc.
However: Do not use a pot with a PTFE-based non-stick coating. If the battery does explode, the fire will probably be hot enough to degrade a PTFE coating, producing toxic smoke. (Not that you should breathe the smoke from the battery fire either, but PTFE breakdown products are worse.) Do not use a pot made of aluminium or copper. The fire might even get hot enough to melt those.
Whatever container you use, you might have to throw away along with the phone, so don’t use your good Dutch oven for this. Go to a thrift store and buy a cheap one.
Once you have the fireproof container:
Gently pick up the phone and put it in the fireproof container. If possible, gently tape the phone to the bottom of the container to prevent it from bouncing around. Don’t put any padding in there, that’ll just make a fire worse if it does happen. Put the lid on and tape it shut.
Put a label on the container, something like “DEFECTIVE LI-ION BATTERY – FIRE HAZARD”.
It is now reasonably safe to move the container around. However, if the battery does explode, the container is very likely to leak smoke and get hot, so keep it in a well-ventilated area and away from things that will be damaged by heat. Don’t leave it exposed to the weather, either.
You need to find either a hazardous waste disposal site, or an e-waste recycler that will accept defective Li-ion batteries. I can’t help with that because I have no idea where you live.
However, your local fire department, if you have one, will probably be happy to help. Call their non-emergency number. Nothing is on fire yet, so this isn’t an emergency, but things that can easily start a fire are still within the fire department’s responsibilities. Tell them you have a phone with a bulging lithium-ion battery, you put it in a fireproof container, and you want to know how to dispose of it safely.
If the fire department tries to tell you this isn’t dangerous or it’s okay to throw it out in the regular trash (with or without fireproof container), hang up on them and write a cranky letter to your local government representatives, then keep looking for a proper disposal site.
When you do find a a hazardous waste disposal site or an e-waste recycler, call them and make sure they will take defective Li-ion batteries, before showing up. That’s also a good time to ask if they will let you have the fireproof container back.
Reblog to save lives.
[Image: A phone with the insides visible, including a battery that has inflated like a balloon. The photo is captioned, “Pillow :33”]
Reblogging because I would have had absolutely no idea what to do, either.

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parenting commitment level 3000
apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy
When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."
>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE
i accidentally clicked onto and off of the "explore" page very quickly, and in the second or so that the explore page was onscreen i saw a beautiful photoshopped image that may infact be nothing like how i saw it due to the speed at which it appeared and disappeared.... but still. what i saw was beautiful
it looked like this
dw i got u i am obsessed.with this image
OGH MY GOD. YES THANK YOU THATS HIM
If you guys don't start behaving I'm going to turn off reblogs for this post. This post is about launching matchbox cars into your wall at high enough speeds to lodge them there. Nobody cares about how strong the walls in your house are, and I'm suddenly learning that a lot of people on this webbed site don't know what drywall is, but none of that matters.
The only thing that matters is shoot cars into your wall.
I want to learn more exclamations that aren’t strictly just religious stuff. “Jesus Christ” this, “oh my god” that, nah I want something fresh.
What are some of y’all’s favorite exclamations that aren’t about god?
first submission and we're already off to a fantastic start. absolutely love this one thank you
ok its time for the challenge round now we want nominations that arent about sex either actually
had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'
@chekhovs-tantrum
Absolutely not letting you leave these in the tags.

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method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows
and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows
i can't cope
you can only reblog this if you're not racist
huge coming from the site who is so against black art that 'tumblr users are afraid of rap' has been a meme for the best part of a decade. You know that yall are 4channers with pronouns right?
addendum: you can only reblog this if you're not racist part 2
This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.
Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.
teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek
fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"
I’ve been obsessed with this tiktok for days now
Person: "Hello sir." he pets the frog with one finger.
Person: "Have a good day. Actually wait a minute. You missed a bug, but I got you home boy. Hold on." he picks a bug up and throws it next to the frog.
Frog: turns around and eats the bug.
Person: "OHHHHH-" sings high pitched and angelic like he witnessed a miracle.

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Julian Hooper 1. Introduction, 2016 2. Inevitable conclusion, 2016 (Acrylic on linen)
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