PyreEmo

after that… oh boy. he held your hand everywhere.

you walked through the base together? his hand engulfed yours.

you sat beside each other? your hand was in his lap and his large hands hugged yours.

you got food together? his thumbs brushed your knuckles lovingly.

enjin was crazy about your new little development in your relationship. for him it was proof of life, like if he let go the world might took you back, and he can’t have that.

you thought it was cute when he rushed towards you and laced your fingers together, thumb rubbing slow circles over your knuckles without realizing he was doing it. sometimes he’d tug you a half-step closer, all instinct, no thought. if someone talked to you too long, his grip tightened always a little.

he was greedy, and yet soft about it. also a little desperate in a way that made your chest warm. with each time he held your hand you fell a little more until that tiny crush turned into something more intense. more beautiful.

and it even changed into something raw as one night you came home late from a cleaner’s job. you swallowed uncomfortably around the dust in your lungs and fought the exhaustion in your bones. at least the base was quiet at night, and the lights dimmed low.

you yawned quietly, and squeezed enjin’s hand. “thanks for coming with me today.” he didn’t need to, but he’d rather not sleep for 48 hours than letting you go out there alone.

“always,” he said immediately before he caught himself and added softer. “anytime.”

you stopped outside your room, rocking back on your heels. “i should let you sleep.” he nodded, but didn’t let go. a tired, but soft smile graced your features as you tugged on his hand. “c’mere.”

you rose onto your toes, and aimed for his cheek. a simple little goodnight kiss. should’ve been easy, simple. except for the fact that enjin was annoyingly tall, and didn’t get the hint to lean down.

your foot slipped slightly against the floor, and your balance tipped forward. instead of cheek your lips missed entirely, and awkwardly landed somewhere near the corner of his mouth.

you could barely call it a kiss, but enjin short circuited. he froze for a moment, his pupils blew wide, breathing stuttering. then he made such a quiet wrecked sound, and grabbed your waist instinctively.

“huh.” you laughed softly at your own clumsiness.

nothing could’ve prepared you for what came next.

enjin dipped his head down, and crowded you against the wall. his mouth found yours, messy and uncoordinated, like he had been starving to kiss you finally. it wasn’t smooth. it wasn’t practiced. it was raw unfiltered need. his lips massaged yours too eager, too wet. enjin lost it completely, and now he didn’t know how to stop once he started.

you squeaked quietly, laughed and he swallowed that noise up. your hands found his jacket as you kissed him back - slow where he was frantic, grounding where he was spiraling.

“enjin,” you breathed against his mouth, half-giggling, half-sighing.

that did undid him completely.

he pulled you even closer with a broken groan as he kissed you more softer this time. he memorized each part of you, tasted your lips, your tongue. it left you breathless and tingling everywhere, and you secretly mourned the loss of his lips when he pulled back.

“i—” he swallowed hard as his forehead dropped to yours. “sorry. i just—”

he looked at you like he might actually blacked out, or eat you right fucking here. his golden eyes almost glowed with the sheer intensity of his emotions.

you smiled up at him with a soft blush, eyes bright. “that was… enthusiastic.”

he laughed breathlessly, and pressed his face into your hair. “i’m so gone for you,” he admitted muffling. “it’s embarrassing.”

“none of this, enjin. it was a good first kiss.” you leaned in and hugged him tightly. “goodnight.”

he nodded and walked away dazed. lips and hands, and everywhere it was still tingling. his brain fully offline.

hardcore yearner status: irreversible.

“hey,” you said one morning, peeking around the corner of the base. “i’m heading out. do you need anything?”

enjin was already on his feet, and almost toppled over his feet like an idiot. “i’ll come with you.”

you blinked. “you don’t have to.”

“i know.” he was already grabbing his jacket and lead the way.

this was how it always went. you’d mention something in passing—groceries, errands, a walk, the weather—and enjin would appear like a summoned spirit. he carried your bags. he walked on the street side of the sidewalk. he slowed his stride to match yours, even though it killed him to move that carefully.

and the whole time, he watched you like you might vanish if he blinked. he even avoided smoking around you since that fateful day where he had heard that you didn’t like the smell of smoke.

you hummed as you walked, hands clasped behind your back. the fabric of your sweater stretched softly over your stomach when you moved, the hem brushing your thighs. enjin noticed everything. he hated that he noticed everything. he hated how his heart beat so uncontrolled around you. he hated how his fingers twitched with an urge to touch you. he hated the heat that coiled between his legs whenever… well, it actuallly happened all the time.

“did you sleep okay?” he asked.

“yeah! like a rock.”

“good,” he said too fast. “good.”

he also loved knowing every little thing about you. liked remembering them. your favorite snacks. the way you got cold easily. how you tilted your head when you were thinking. that whenever you speak to rudo or riyo your voice automatically became softer. he stored these details like precious contraband, tucked away in his chest.

at the market, you reached for something on a higher shelf, rising onto your toes. your shirt lifted a little, and showed the soft curve of your hips. your ass. enjin made a noise like a dying engine. maybe a bit of a whimper - there was definitely a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth.

you turned around to him. “you okay?”

“fine,” he lied, staring very hard at a can of peaches. “all good. totally normal.”

you frowned, then shrugged, tossing the item into the basket. “thanks for coming with me, by the way. you’re always so helpful.”

helpful… he nearly bit through his tongue. he nearly went screaming in aisle three. he nearly cried into his jacket.

you didn’t see the way his shoulders slumped a fraction. didn’t see how the word landed wrong, soft and heavy at the same time. helpful was what you called someone safe. someone convenient. someone you didn’t look at the way enjin looked at you.

later, back at the base, you struggled with a door stuck in its frame. you huffed, pushing uselessly.

“here,” enjin said, already there to fix it with one sharp tug.

you beamed up at him. “you’re the best.”

he froze. there was your beautiful smile again. the one that made his chest ache, made his hands curl at his sides like he wanted to reach for you and didn’t trust himself to stop. because once he’d start touching you he’d never be able to stop.

“you okay?” you asked. “you’re being weird today.”

he laughed too loud. “me? always.”

you stepped closer without thinking, peering up at his face. “you sure?”

you were too fucking close. he could smell your soap, feel the warmth of you, see the mouthwatering curve of your body where you stood like you belonged there.

enjin cracked. enjin split open.

“you ever,” he started, then stopped. swallowed. tried again. “you ever think about how you make people feel?”

you blinked confused. “what do you mean?”

fuck. you were so oblivious, and so sweet. you were ruining him.

he dragged a hand through his hair, pacing once like a caged animal. “you smile at me. you thank me. you ask if i’m okay. you let me follow you around like—like this is nothing.”

you laughed softly. “enjin, you don’t have to come with me everywhere.”

“i want to,” he snapped, then winced at himself, “i want to.”

silence stretched. your eyes clash and enjin could watch in real time how the realization settled in your usual brilliant brain.

“oh,” you said, suddenly small.

he stopped pacing and looked at you like you might break. “i’m not saying it’s your fault,” he rushed. “i just needed you to know. i’m not being nice. i’m being gone.”

your cheeks warmed. “gone?”

“for you,” he said simply.

you stared at him, heart pounding. “you… like me?”

enjin sighed quietly. “you still didn’t realize it.”

“i thought you were just… like this.”

he laughed, breathless and disbelieving. “i’m like this because it’s you.”

your expression softened when you heard his response. with a small smile you remembered how enjin had gravitated towards you since you’ve joined the cleaners. you had always thought that he shared the same sentiment for you like he shared for the kids. you were so wrong. but that wrongness made you happy. really happy.

you stepped. loser slowly. “you could’ve said something, enjin. i would’ve listened.”

he dropped his head into his hands. “i’ve been saying something. every day. with my whole damn body.”

you nodded, and reached tentatively to take his hand in yours. you felt the tremble, how warm his skin was. this wasn’t just a crush - he was in love. enjin went still like a good puppy, because that glorious man would wait forever if you asked him to.

“enjin?” you murmured.

“yeah?”

“i don’t mind you following me.”

hope flared in his eyes so fast it almost scared you.

“and,” you added, squeezing his hand once, “you can hold my hand next time. if you want.”

he nodded once. then he nodded enthusiastically while you giggled softly.

hardcore yearner. fully undone. exactly where he wanted to be.