So I was invited to a party by a friend of mine hosted by @pureromance. I was looking forward to it since I very rarely am able to get out of the house due to severe social anxiety, and that I have never had the chance to hang out with other girls in person due to being raised as male. As such, I was really looking forward to the opportunity to do so for the first time, and being accepted as female for an all girls party really meant a lot to me.
Turns out that according to @pureromanceâs rules, their âno guys allowedâ policy extends to transwomen as well, so they were not having it. Upon entering, I was there for a short while before their representative, Cherie Weiss, asked me if I was a man or a woman. I figure I should note that the only basis she had for this was because of my appearance, so chances are they also have a âno ugly people allowedâ policy as well. So i naturally said i was a woman, so she, I kid you not, asked to see my ID. I naturally didnât have my ID with me because itâs a fucking birthday party that I was invited to, and it takes place in someoneâs house. So because of that, she said she needed to ask me to leave because @pureromance operates on a âno trannies allowedâ policy. So I decided to get up and leave, and I naturally gave Cherie the middle finger as I left, to which she responded that she doesnât blame me but her business is more important than basic human decency.
So i ended up waiting outside the house in 10 degrees Fahrenheit weather because i didnât have a ride back. I heard people yelling inside, and most of it had to do with between my friend Emily and her mother. Emily did not expect me being trans to be a problem, rightfully so. However, her mother was angry with her for not asking Cherrie beforehand and ending up with me humiliated and treated as inhuman for being trans.
SO yeah, in addition to me being treated like Garbage, Emily likely felt horrible about what happened since she told me before that if anyone gave me trouble, sheâd ask them to leave, but she didnât expect the people responsible for organizing the event would be responsible for doing so. ANd she was also scolded by her mother, who was kind enough to drive me home. Both Emily and her mother I should also mention were pissed by the way, and I highly doubt that they were the only ones that thought so. Once I got home, I simply decided to tell my dad that it didnât work out because I did not want to go through the effort of talking about what just happened.
I honestly have to ask this, what would the risk have been to let me attend? Does @pureromance operate on the Fox News belief that all transwomen are rapists who are trying to âinvade womenâs safe spaces?â Would Cherieâs superiors have somehow discovered that I was born male if she did let me in? Exactly what was the risk, especially when the event was at someone elseâs house?
As far as Iâm concerned, Cherie handled this in a very irresponsible manner. However, that is not what this post is about. It is because of @pureromanceâs bigoted policy that this happened, where a girlâs 21st birthday party was potentially ruined. Granted Iâm sure the rest will get over it, but Iâm pretty sure the way I was treated left an impression on them, and it wasnât a pleasant one.
It also turns out that @pureromance is a pretty small business. Large corporations may be able to get away with this kind of crap, but smaller ones should realize that there is a chance that if they treat people like shit, it can come back to bite them in the ass. I myself and taking the opportunity to post this one each of my social media accounts, including my twitter account which has close to a thousand followers. And iâll also be sure to have it as my pinned tweet, so itâs the first thing everyone will see it. I also plan to forward it to many friends of mine whom are also trans, and Iâm sure some of them will pass it on as well.
Now I know that one person with a relatively small following wonât run #pureromance out of business, but iâm damn sure going to try and do what I can to put a dent in their business. And let me make this clear, I donât want to blame Cherie herself for this even though she didnât act responsibly. If the reaction her superiors have is to fire her, then that would be completely missing the point and would be even more disgusting behavior on their part.
The reason she took her actions was because she was obeying THEIR RULES and did not want to risk getting into any trouble. No, the real issue here is the rules that the company itself operates on. I get that the idea is to be a women only type of thing, but here is the thing; no man would have any real motive to dress in womenâs clothing and identify as female. Transwomen are not men, and should not be treated as such. Pardon the cliche, but it is, in fact, 2016. We just got gay marriage legalized last year and trans rights are next. Continuing these discriminatory practices are not going to do you any good, and will only sour your reputation further, and rightfully so.
As such, unless @pureromance cleans up itâs act, DO NOT use their services unless you support blatant bigotry and transphobia. And if this inspires any transphobes to use their service out of spite, well then congratulations at the people you have associated your service with. Â Â Â Â Â Â