Bill, strange things are afoot at the Circle K

Romeo bout to catch some cheeks

no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible

“You dropped your dick man”

*male feminist voice* its okay to be slutty, girls! dont let society shame you for your sex drive! suck as many dicks as you want! like, for instance, mine perhaps :)

Boot up, Bitch!

MOOD! #2019goals

garfield be like

Get you a man who looks at you like John Mulaney looks at his wife 👌

animals sit in the woods and scream “I WANT TO FUCK!!!!!!” and thats just the culture