Sorry, that's classified

At Least i’m a dyke. at least i have that going for me

long ass car trips are alot like the modern day whaling voyage if you think about it. I think itd really be improved if the passenger seat could launch harpoons at passing pickup trucks though

the best thing about being alive on earth is that sometimes there is a kitty

assigning Scully to the X-files was the funniest thing the US government ever did because imagine you send this logical, rule-following scientist to spy on the Basement Weirdo but instead they fall in love and soul-bond so intensely that it’s actually a legitimate threat to national security. all the super-important super-evil government conspiracies are at risk because you (the US government) accidentally pulled the best matchmaking job in history and now they’re so in love and oh shit they’re breaking into another top-secret facility, they’re discovering evidence of another war crime, they’re gazing longingly into each other’s eyes next to a crashed ufo and it’s all your fucking fault

i do in hindsight really love the concept of complaining about adaptational changes in a 3000 year old oral tradition of which there isn’t really a definitive version so much as a surviving one that is also the most adapted story of all time. my chud forebears in Roman Britain throwing rocks at a bard going nah nah nah the last one said some different other shit at that part you gotta do it again is a comforting image to me

Almost one thousand years ago a woman with my exact face and probably better bangs in rural Morgannwyg was defending to the whole village the latest iteration of the marchog gwyrdd where Gwalchmei ap Gwyar is called Gawain and gets a little gay with it even though it’s different than the tale we have earlier heard from a previous bard so that I can fight the same battle on letterboxd today. God bless complaining the worlds oldest activity

Well Ok I like this

cats always step precisely on your most sensitive areas when theyre crawling on you lovingly for cuddles. bladder dick ovaries boobs stomach bruise it doesnt matter. they have homing devices on their paws for the exact area you’re most tender at the moment and they put their full weight into that step. and sometimes they might keep their stance midstride so theyre just standing there forever forcing you to endure the pain. because they are simply too cute to get mad at

Diabolical Ironclad Beetle perhaps

That's going up there in the first list for sure.

it's kind of crazy climate change has occurred at such a remarkable pace that I and everyone else around my age can remember a completely different climate in our childhoods. I truly watched winter gradually disappear in my life.

"You're too young to remember this, but there used to be so many insects outside that you would have to clean them off the windshield after a long car ride" is the kind of sentence that would have been in a cheesy scifi short story earlier in my life, perhaps submitted to a literary magazine and accepted to show support for its environmentalist message - now it's something I've said in earnest.