Queen of the Dead

This is the sheer amount of meds I have to take on a daily basis just to try & maintain some sense of normalcy & sadly there isn't even meds in there yet to help my joints which keep slipping out of place #chronicillness #meds #healthproblems #chronicallyill #badphysicalhealthday #badpainday https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvx0iC-gnsn/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=dwnkdzvx0w7u

That spoonie life yo. Day 3 of being in the hospital in limbo of not really knowing what's wrong. First they thought appendix & wanted to take it out, then they went wait a minute we don't think its that despite you having stones in your appendix. We suggested potential cyst or cystic rupture on my ovary due to my poly cystic ovaries but there has been no update or tests on that leaving me in limbo waiting to know what's wrong this time with doctors who want to send me home again with no answers. Being chronically ill is the pits. #spoonies #outofspoonstoday #inhospital #chronicillness #badpainday #badhealthday #spoonielife https://www.instagram.com/p/BrZbeJkAhPD/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1po4ypqlhr3a6

Well looks like today is going to be a thick eyeliner day lol with a bit of pumpkin orange #selfie #makeupselfies #thickeyeliner #eyelinerthatcancut #gothgirl #gothgoddess https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqq76u8AWFo/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=f478lqhih3tr

Just a girl & her pig chillin eating celery watching the office #piggyfriends #guineapig #piggy🐖 #myguineapig #furmom #piggymom #selfie #pets #petsnuggles https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqn-EKRAO3-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jiqbmdkwo0tt

I made gluten free banana chocolate chip muffins today 😊 #gfmuffins #gfbaking #glutenfree #foodpics #yummy😋 https://www.instagram.com/p/BqQ_DrKg9K_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1a2eplej533hp

We went into window shop guitars for my sister & I ended up leaving with a little teal ukulele 😂🤷🏻 I have like no hand eye coordination but maybe I can play a ukulele #shopping #ididathing #ukulele https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp2YSsFAD8d/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=4i2lnhif56c0

Final pics of the King Tut Exhibit, it was a breathe taking experience I will never forget #kingtut #omsi #egypt #history https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp0K1F3AMeN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=z0ij41zaeu7v

More pictures from the King Tut exhibit #omsi #egypt #kingtut #history https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp0KfMXA1ZH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1go3ug69dbm9u

I really can't compare these pictures to how amazing it was seeing really mummy of King Tut & the artifacts of his tomb, it was breathe taking. I took so many pictures I need to download them all lol #kingtut #omsi #mummy #egypt #history https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp0JdlfALkS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1xik2efdjtlmh

More pictures of the loveys birthday, because we saw King Tut at OMSI I've been telling people I took him to see a dead person for his birthday& the looks o their faces 😂 more King Tut pics to come #birthday #mybf #mylovey #kingtut #omsi https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp0I87Pg9LS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1c51visp82my4

Took my lovey to OMSI for birthday earlier this week & had a blast, I just can't get enough of that cutie face! 😍😍🖤 #omsi #mylovey #theboyfriend #birthday #dateday https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp0Ic5ZAW1m/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=yuepkso2t53h

This is what chronic pain & mobility problems looks like; all I did was turn when getting out of bed & virtually all the joints on my right side cracked leaving me screeching, I laid back down & a while later attempted to get up on my "good side" which resulted in my hip grinding & knee popping. I had my boyfriend take this picture because I want to be able to show the doctors my pain, prove that my pain & lack of mobility is real. This honestly is my worst nightmare because I've never had all my joints go out at once like this, I can't even stand right now.🤕😢😟 #chroicpain #painproblems #mobilityproblems #mobilityissues #badphysicalhealthday #badpainday #ithurts https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpa0YnYgObU/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ixovvg8qgmle

I hate that one of the biggest struggles I have with using my cane or a mobility aid is that I can't help the inherent internal shame & conflict I feel when I have to use it due to my dad always saying he would die before he became a cripple (because as a diabetic losing your feet is a real fear) as well as the societal stigma that comes with disability. It made me afraid to admit I needed a cane for a long time because it seemed my life would be over. Which is stupid because if anything it helps me live my more so why should I be ashamed of something that helps me? Its an everyday struggle to find the confidence to use my cane & change the way I see it. So for at least today I can say I didn't let the cane shame beat my pain #painproblems #pain #mobilityproblems #mobilityissues #fightingthecaneshame #buildaladder #buildingaladder https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo7i_xKhnH-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1i04c7stmwc8r

All black from head to toe, forrest goth vibes lol #nature #selfie #gothgirl #naturegoth #naturevibes https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo2RLVfBlwr/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8dxqfc3lwqzv

Getting all cute to get my tattoo finished this afternoon #selfie #selfconfidence #gothgirl #gothgoddess #makeupselfies #tattooday https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo2JFJEhS-e/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=93b58ftbhqmi