idontfuckingknow

When you are seeing half of the sun in a sunset, someone else is seeing the other half as a sunrise.

When I look at this I feel like it should be something from 100 years ago but this is really going on right now

hell is an endless loop of this video

the umm summer

beaches ain’t ready for it

year 3000. naruto is dead. zoruto, the son of poruto, who was the son of coruto, who was the son of goruto, who was the son of boruto, who was the son of naruto, now has an anime. ‘zoruto is gonna…be better than poruto’ kishimoto assures, at age 1026.

Which part of the Bible is this from

i give the bouncer my special id which only says “i make jokes on the internet” and he picks me up by my feet and swings me into speeding traffic

i walk up to the same bouncer and show him my special id which says “minecraft youtuber” and he dips me low and kisses me so sweetly

When he says “really” ;’)

Never leave this un-reblogged

What a dear human being he is. 

OMG YAY!

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

why is this so funny

WOW. Lmao

All of that bullshit for this one gif are you kidding me

College students be like

say it again riri it’s 2017 and this is still tru

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

jerry is here

my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”

This makes me feel better about every conversation I had in both Rome and Ghent.

My former boss is Italian and she ended up working in a lab where the common language was English. She once saw an insect running through the lab and she went to tell her colleagues. She remembered it was the name of a famous English band so she barged in the office yelling there was a rolling stone in the lab…

I love those stories so much…

that’s hilarious

I am officially screamlaughing at my desk from that last one OH MY 

What the hell Biblical Hebrew.

Just guessing: The path from something like “give someone a blade” to “give someone a blade, if you know what I mean ;)” is probably not that difficult or unlikely.

^Given that the Latin word for sheath (like, for a sword) is literally “vagina”, I can verify that this metaphor is a time-honored one.