Unfuckwithable

At the very edge of sleep, you couldn't stop reflecting on your good fortune—again. All those years in the slums being sunk in nothing but filth and the worst humanity had had to offer. Then seeing your comrades ripped apart like a cruel child's dolls, bathed in the blood, fighting for the rights to your own existence, and... Now you're curled up in the bed, thick and as soft as cloud, you share with Levi—you'd made it through almost your whole lives that way.

He was pressed up against your back, so you fit together like two spoons in a neat draw. You knew when he was asleep (as well as he'd mastered pretending)—his even breaths came slow and unweighted across your shoulder like sacred silence.

When he jerked awake, it was so forceful he almost shoved you all the way to the floor. It was like he'd been trying to run for forever and regained control of his body just now. You started to say his name, but it was already too late. He screamed what sounded like a little child stranded in the deepest depth of hell. Blood-freezing, blood-curdling—the flood of sick shock that shot through your veins to the smallest capillaries in his body frightened you in a way he hadn’t been in over ten years. It was unthinkable; you thought it was the death-shrieks of a burglar.

Being starkly awake it still didn’t occur to you, the possibility of reality, until you jerked up rolled over and touched Levi. 

The next couple times his lungs caught a bit of air, he screamed a dying animal’s guttural explosion of sound. His voice rasped very quickly each time. 

Around the time the nightmare’s imprint on his mind faded like a dry stamp-mem, his voice pittled out, and he leaned heavily against you, who’d been trying to get him to do just that, without raising your voice. He shook and gasped, his hand clasped to his chest as if bracing against the pain of a heart attack. And he tried like hell to muffle it all in your chest. Grunting animalistically into your chest in blatant efforts not to sob like a baby. His hot breath beat against your skin through your shirt.

You held him tightly. As if to keep everything from witnessing it. 

“You’re awake,” you murmured, simply.

“...Sorry…” Levi finally murmured this, a long time after catching his breath.

Levi made no move to get up, making you frown. He’d want tea right about now. It’d be impossible that he’d fallen back asleep. He breathed silently.

“I’m not tired, okay?” To emphasize this, you slid his legs around Levi’s and adjusted a little so he would have an easier time curling up around you. Not much, since he was smaller than you. Reluctantly, he took this offer.

Why was Levi being so unlike himself?—You had never, ever heard him scream like that before... Like he was… hurt. But that wouldn’t have stopped him. Could it be that he was embarrassed? You couldn’t remember the last time you'd felt embarrassed in front of Levi… But again, you'd never heard him scream like that.

You switched your thinking to Levi’s logical inclinations. The nightmare was awful, but if it was one he’d been having more than once, you expected Levi would lay here and try to fall back asleep out of spite. But as sneaky as he was, there was no way to account for recurring nightmares if that was true.

Maybe it was multiple things.

“I keep seeing… children die in my dreams.”

His voice was like the sound of dragging sandpaper along a chalkboard. Levi stalled as you blinked, shocked by his earnestness. A deep sadness appeared, weighing heavily on your heart like a millstone.

“Die?” you whispered, hoping he’d say more, because you were without a single clue to how to ask for that. He didn’t say more.

“How... do they die?”

“Slowly.”

“How old are they?” This line of questioning seemed to be working.

“...It depends on my memories."

"Oh," you breathed, so quietly that a pin dropping would've sounded over you. You noticed he was still shaking.

"I—I..."

He sat up as slowly as he had been answering about the nightmares. It was next to impossible to make him out besides as a shape cloaked in shadow. His palm was warm on your stomach, before he started to get up. Of course, he pretended his cane wasn't next to the nightstand. As much as you frowned and wanted to badger him, it'd be a horrible time to.

He was just going around the house, to be fair, doing what Levi called 'nothing', which was stalking through every room like a ward before coming back to bed.

He got in the habit of that when you became pregnant.

The implications of that make you eye the bathroom, considering getting down in front of the toilet just in case. Every atom in you urged to go and usher him back to bed, but again, you let it go—just managing to this time. You knew too well how stubborn he was, to say the least.

It took longer than last time. Even now, you heard absolutely nothing, until the bed gently dipped on the other side of you, making your breath catch. He knew you were awake now.

Instead of saying anything—What in the world could you say, besides state the obvious, that you were out of the Underground? Have been for over ten years?—

You sat up and leaned forward just-so so he would follow and lay down with you without thinking about it. And by the way he was acting, he'd be pretty receptive to dropping off a cliff by your hand. He grunted arduously as he maneuvered his stiff knee under the covers. In the dark, his head was bowed and his shoulders slumped.

Levi had an Underground accent. eerily similar to Kenny's when Levi was much younger, but after Kenny left, he got it into his head to speak 'more proper', mostly to spite him.

but with no reference to how people Aboveground speak, his voice always had this kind of biting twang that made his speech sound loose. and it's so HOT. jvijgijfr9j he'd say ‘I reckon xxx’ and ‘fixin to’ or ‘as all get-out’ so cute

but then when he first got Aboveground, Levi learned that people could tell he was from there instantly. he didn't care about that fact in of itself (cue Levi never giving a shit what anyone thinks. he's already as pale as a piece of paper), but it sounded so messy, he realized.

it's the distinction with being seen as a filthy vermin from Underground. Kenny always taught him appearance matters, hence the way Levi dresses and keeps his image neat, and so his accent turned into a stain on his character.

at first, before Levi had any reputation besides being a criminal suddenly shoved into their ranks, other Scouts would've gotten onto him a ton just because of that. just like when he was a kid, others hated him for his sheer existence. purposefully avoiding him (though that didn't bother Levi much at all), calling him filthy and dirty, telling him to go back to the hole he crawled out of.

And he’d just stare. “Better yet, I could stuff your skull full a’ shit if ya want.”

and he did most of the time, but that wasn't enough for him. so he forced himself to fix it (kinda like how Sasha did). it wasn't like he was talkative anyway, but when he did speak, he forced his voice rigid and spoke slowly when he could. Levi was already a master at being acutely aware of his surroundings, (hehe and quiet enough that people used to gossip or talk shit around him as if he wasn't there), but he started listening for the way people Aboveground spoke down to the letter, and mimicked that. as months passed, he was successful. almost completely. it was a little uncanny.

HOWEVER. it still slips out sometimes...

hims drinking enough to reach any semblance of tipsy for example is rare (partly because he doesn’t like the effects, and with him being an Ackerman it’s a lot of drinking to get there), but when he does, his accent starts faltering at the end of his sentences. instead of thinking it’s thinkin’, or i just imagine his sharp drawl when he says specifically like, ‘ugh, drunk piece ‘a shit…’ mingling with his slurred speech. maybe because he’s annoyed he’s reminding himself of Kenny in that moment :(((

it comes out when he’s angry enough to shout, or when he has to yell orders. he hates it, but he can’t help it when he starts to see red.

when he’s just woken up too. when he’s not even bothering to open his eyes yet whenever he rasps a little mornin’ against your lips or late late late into the night, and you finally got him out of his office chair, walking him to his bedroom. I gotta work. fuck’re you doin’? Not tired (liar).

it slips through into his little whimpers and sighs when he’s begging you for even more, past the point where you’ve drained his balls multiple times. writhing all over the sheets and chanting your name on top of Can’t I can’t, s’too much. Ah… ah…

Weren’t you begging just a second ago?

OH NO

Levi had an Underground accent. eerily similar to Kenny's when Levi was much younger, but after Kenny left, he got it into his head to speak 'more proper', mostly to spite him.

but with no reference to how people Aboveground speak, his voice always had this kind of biting twang that made his speech sound loose. and it's so HOT. jvijgijfr9j he'd say ‘I reckon xxx’ and ‘fixin to’ or ‘as all get-out’ so cute

but then when he first got Aboveground, Levi learned that people could tell he was from there instantly. he didn't care about that fact in of itself (cue Levi never giving a shit what anyone thinks. he's already as pale as a piece of paper), but it sounded so messy, he realized.

it's the distinction with being seen as a filthy vermin from Underground. Kenny always taught him appearance matters, hence the way Levi dresses and keeps his image neat, and so his accent turned into a stain on his character.

at first, before Levi had any reputation besides being a criminal suddenly shoved into their ranks, other Scouts would've gotten onto him a ton just because of that. just like when he was a kid, others hated him for his sheer existence. purposefully avoiding him (though that didn't bother Levi much at all), calling him filthy and dirty, telling him to go back to the hole he crawled out of.

And he’d just stare. “Better yet, I could stuff your skull full a’ shit if ya want.”

and he did most of the time, but that wasn't enough for him. so he forced himself to fix it (kinda like how Sasha did). it wasn't like he was talkative anyway, but when he did speak, he forced his voice rigid and spoke slowly when he could. Levi was already a master at being acutely aware of his surroundings, (hehe and quiet enough that people used to gossip or talk shit around him as if he wasn't there), but he started listening for the way people Aboveground spoke down to the letter, and mimicked that. as months passed, he was successful. almost completely. it was a little uncanny.

HOWEVER. it still slips out sometimes...

hims drinking enough to reach any semblance of tipsy for example is rare (partly because he doesn’t like the effects, and with him being an Ackerman it’s a lot of drinking to get there), but when he does, his accent starts faltering at the end of his sentences. instead of thinking it’s thinkin’, or i just imagine his sharp drawl when he says specifically like, ‘ugh, drunk piece ‘a shit…’ mingling with his slurred speech. maybe because he’s annoyed he’s reminding himself of Kenny in that moment :(((

it comes out when he’s angry enough to shout, or when he has to yell orders. he hates it, but he can’t help it when he starts to see red.

when he’s just woken up too. when he’s not even bothering to open his eyes yet whenever he rasps a little mornin’ against your lips or late late late into the night, and you finally got him out of his office chair, walking him to his bedroom. I gotta work. fuck’re you doin’? Not tired (liar).

it slips through into his little whimpers and sighs when he’s begging you for even more, past the point where you’ve drained his balls multiple times. writhing all over the sheets and chanting your name on top of Can’t I can’t, s’too much. Ah… ah…

Weren’t you begging just a second ago?

OH NO