Puff Almighty

HOLLANDER V ROSANOV

like??? was she looking over a visitor log??? did the nurse happen to bring it up???

They are 2 cool 4 me

Bonus with no text:

Shane: *sounds progressively more Russian during a conversation*

Ilya, thinking Shane’s making fun of him: that fucking asshole?

Ilya: neveroyatnyy

Shane, whispering in a perfect Russian accent: ✨neveroyatnyy✨

Ilya, clearly wasn’t supposed to hear that: ????!!

Ilya drops several Russian curses while they fuck once, and Shane just moans them right back. (Maybe Ilya fucks Shane three ways to Sunday afterward, and maybe he starts speaking Russian more during sex, but that is NO ONE’S business!)

Shane speaking to JJ during warm-ups: *unconsciously copying his accent*

Ilya, eavesdropping: No, that’s our thing >:(

Shane has genuine difficulty staying quiet and not echoing when Ilya gives his monologue over the phone, but he thinks it would upset Ilya if he did. (And Ilya will never admit it, but each time he said “I love you” in Russian, he hoped Shane would say it back in his little echo, even if he knew Shane didn’t mean it. (He would.))

Shane in the hospital, high as a kite, in a Russian accent: bye bye :)

Ilya, heart eyes 15000%: fuck this, fuck you, nurse I am having heart attack

The problem wasn’t what I had access to. It was that I didn’t have access to a safe adult I could actually talk to; someone I could trust to help me without immediately cutting me off from everything and everyone. I remember getting messages from strangers on Skype. I didn’t even respond. But when my parents found out, they banned me from using it entirely. That meant losing most of my contact with friends outside of school. So what did I do? I went behind their backs. And once I was hiding, I couldn’t tell them when something actually dangerous was happening, like when I started being groomed. By the time things escalated, I was already alone with it.

I think about an episode of Scared Straight where a girl was dragged through a prison because she’d been talking to adult men online. She wasn’t doing that because she was reckless or malicious; she was lonely. Her parents weren’t present, she was being bullied at school, and these men gave her attention, told her she was pretty, told her she mattered. She was already being harmed. And the adults in her life responded by terrorizing her. Humiliating her. Calling her a slut. Telling her she deserved it. Breaking her to pieces.

What lesson does that actually teach? Not “this is dangerous, come to us.” It teaches: If you get hurt, we will hurt you more. Do you really think that makes her stop, or does it just make the predators look safer by comparison? They might as well have driven her straight into the jaws of those predators with torches and pitchforks. Because when every path back to safety is lined with punishment, kids don’t run away from danger. They run deeper into it.

If you want kids to be safe, stop treating them like problems to control and start treating them like people worth protecting. Stop ripping away their autonomy the second they make a mistake or encounter something risky. Stop teaching them that honesty will cost them everything.

I have gotten so much shit over the years for saying that if my kid read fiction or anything else online that she wasn't ready to see, I'd check in with her on how she was doing mentally and emotionally, and then talk to her about how she saw it, and how to avoid seeing things that she didn't want to see in the future. People have portrayed this as me being A-OK with my kid being exposed to anything willy-nilly, no matter how out-there, both bc I wouldn't have punished her and because I didn't see "my kid got access to something Too Mature For Her online" as a reason to sanitize the internet.

But here's the thing: I've dealt with situations like that more than once. Now, my daughter is in her mid-twenties at this point, and we're far past the question of "can she look at naughty fanfic online?" Clearly she can and whether she does is so not my business. But back in the day, she ran into stuff she didn't want to see more than once, she ran into people who bullied her, she had some experiences that put up my hackles for her safety, she had someone try to steal her identity...

... and none of those things became critical issues. Why?

Because she knew that she could come and talk to me. She knew she could come and talk to me and that my first thought wasn't going to be "oh, you're Bad and In Trouble and I'm going to Punish You so that you're Good next time," but "You have a Problem and we're going to solve it together so that in the future, you know how to solve it yourself, and you know that if you need my help, I will absolutely help you."

And when one of her problems was "I've figured out that I'm a girl and I need your help making my body stop doing the wrong puberty for me," she came to me then, too. And when one of her problems was "I'm having a Weird Symptom that could be nothing or could be Something Big," she came to me, too. And—crucially—all of those things are the same thing, at the core.

My kid had a Problem. She needed my help. There were times when we had to have conversations afterwards about the consequences of the things she might have done, but my first priority was always making sure she was okay, and that she knew that if she had a Problem, my first concern is always going to be helping her fix it.

And you know what? She still calls me if she needs to talk through her problems. These days it's more, "Hey, I don't know what to do about this problem at work," but she still calls me.

Someday, I'm not going to be around anymore to help her fix things, and in anticipation of that fact, it is and was my job to equip her with the tools she'll need to take care of herself when I can't help her anymore. If I'm not teaching her how to deal with things, if I'm cutting her off from resources, if I'm not actually there for helping her solve the problems, all I'm doing is setting her up for a future where her parents are gone and she doesn't know how to fix shit, because we didn't teach her.

Baby Hollanov AU

They’re about 9 or 10. Ilya doesn’t know any English yet, but they still become besties

❌ Does this ship make any sense whatsoever by any reasonable metric

Silly comic

I like the idea that Jason loves watching that movie and considers it a guilty pleasure.