For those of you who are just beginning your willmack enlightenment journeys, or perhaps want/need a refresher of the rivals part of willmack’s rivals to boybestfriends storyline, I have the primer for you!
Images below the cut, link to slide deck if you prefer
Qualifications: Brainrot, mostly, but I also attended the 2024 hockey east championship in a professional capacity and have been insane about these two since well before the 2024 draft.
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this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men
to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men
not my pic but this is the cleanest Storrowing i've ever seen. hats and roofs off to this unknown rental truck driver for full sending it with 0 hesitation
it's come to my attention that people are having trouble distinguishing between laila's gf, laila's bestgirlbrotherfriend, laila's teammate who she's always carrying around, and laila's many other blondes, so i did some service journalism.
kk harvey. i feel like if you're reading this, you don't really need me to explain who kk is nor what her relationship to laila is, because you already know that they are Brothers, who are girls, but of course also "bestfriends" who [infinity emoji] [heart emoji] [interracial handshake emoji] each other.
is she normal about laila? obviously not.
chloe baker. chloe was the university of wisconsin's third-string goaltender for the same four years that laila was there. she and laila and kk are really close friends. because she was clearly never pursuing hockey professionally, she had a more normal life at wisco than many of her her teammates, and she made a lot of non-athlete friends, including one who would eventually become laila's girlfriend.
is she normal about laila? no, not even a little bit. i think she's straight but she and laila had something extremely weird and gay and fake-flirty going on for a minute there. they made a heated rivalry reenactment tiktok and laila used to carry chloe all the time and then she posted a video of laila picking her up captioned "who needs a boy when i have laila" and the thigh grab.
chloe's best friend clara, who is now laila's girlfriend, knew laila casually through chloe for a while. based on insta, they seem to have gotten closer or started dating during or right after they both went on chloe's birthday trip to chicago last summer. kk either wasn't invited or didn't come on the trip. there's something very compelling about everything changing when kk wasn't there, and there's something very compelling about laila wrapping up her dumb fake gay bullshit with chloe to actually date her best friend instead, and there's something very compelling about that one tiktok live where laila and chloe are whispering to each other in the backseat of kk's car and kk is pretending to joke about being excluded but is actually clearly for real upset at being left out. what is laila doing with these three!!
clara. laila's gf, chloe's best friend, and bandit edwards-harvey the cat's stepmommy. she does not play hockey and met chloe in class (they share a major). she went to to olympics to support laila.
is she normal about laila? no, but she's not normal in a normal way, because she is dating laila. she is perhaps the only one who is allowed to act the way she does.
kirsten simms. laila's long-time teammate who went to boarding school with her (and kk), and then also played on the badgers for all four years with her and the olympics in 2026 with her. she will play in the PWHL next year. i am also legally obligated to report that she is the most clutch player of all time and has a very hot girlfriend.
is she normal about laila? yes, she loves laila down but is probably more or less the most normal of laila's blondes, using phrases such as "like a sister to me" instead of "brooooooo [gif of a fox doing the scuba] you're pretty good at hockey ig." laila has repaid simms for these many years of sisterly love and support by sometimes posting pics of herself and kk to insta with simms cropped out.
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Manon Rheaume spoke to media on Tuesday addressing both questions of a perceived early start and tampering, to PWHL Detroit's signing of con
For Curl-Salemme's promotion of FIERCE Athlete, the PWHL permitted video to be taken used for FIERCE Athlete and Curl's collaboration on ice, on the bench, and during games. The PWHL has refused all comment on why they permitted video to be taken on the ice and on a PWHL bench for the explicit purposes of an anti-LGBTQ+ campaign involving Curl-Salemme.
So this is really what I'd like to hammer the league about. They are explicitly allowing her to appear in PWHL gear, at PWHL games, as part of a hate campaign. This is not just her doing fucked up shit on her own time - it's explicitly involving the league.
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A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this reason he must decide who will take the throne after he dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne; this being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the contest all of the children came to the palace with their enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all of the children’s pots, he finally decides that the little girl with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he choose this little girl over all of the other children with their beautiful plants.
The seeds were all dead (burned, fake, etc.). The other kids cheated and got different seeds and planted them. The little girl didn’t cheat and was not able to grow anything because the seed was dead. She was the only one who didn’t cheat.
i get the moral it’s trying to convey but that king is an idiot and the kingdom’s doomed. you don’t appoint an honest kid who will forthrightly admit a failure like that to leadership of a country, you put that kid in charge of like… the army, or something. the department of agriculture.
i’d send out dead seeds, then appoint the kid with the biggest and most beautiful plant anyway. ideally the same kind of plant as the dead seeds were from. and ideally a kid with a really good pokerface. that kid knows:
a) how to perceive failure early (a well developed second plant means they knew how soon the first seeds should sprout and didn’t fuck around when they didn’t)
b) how to fix the situation (a second plant of the same species means they got someone to help them identify the seeds and plant more, or are observant enough to do it themselves)
c) how to get the best people for a job in to do it (kids aren’t great gardeners. a beautiful science project probably means mom did all the work— just what you want from a child ruler and their regent)
all around, that kid (or their mom) is the kind of devious results-oriented bald-faced liar you want to go toe-to-toe with the lords of your country and the rulers of your neighbors. not a little kid who admits defeat so early and in a situation with such high stakes. ‘whoops i didn’t grow a plant’ sounds a lot less sweet when you phrase it like ‘i give up on ruling my country’.
you know, i think i’d also send agents out to encourage the kids to destroy each other’s plants. let’s see who’s good at seige warfare, too.
I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.
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I wish all Black girls a clear shot at this world. I wish all Black girls a full belly. I wish all Black girls a respite from their many troubles. I wish all Black girls nothing but grace, prosperity, and ease. Black girls I am hoping for your continued safety and success every single day.
here for the B's @puckplume - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook