For those of you who are just beginning your willmack enlightenment journeys, or perhaps want/need a refresher of the rivals part of willmack’s rivals to boybestfriends storyline, I have the primer for you!
Images below the cut, link to slide deck if you prefer
Qualifications: Brainrot, mostly, but I also attended the 2024 hockey east championship in a professional capacity and have been insane about these two since well before the 2024 draft.
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are you small and quebecois and annoying?? old and broken? maybe young and broken? are you everyone's least favourite trade deadline acquisition that i have a soft spot for? let me tell you
sonce the sports are happening big rn where i live i made a handy chart of all the phrases i use to communicate with my loved ones during these trying times. i thought others might find it useful too
ive discovered you can have whole conversations with people using just these phrases and none will be any the wiser that you dont even know what sport it is theyre talking about
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this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men
to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men
this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men
to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men
not my pic but this is the cleanest Storrowing i've ever seen. hats and roofs off to this unknown rental truck driver for full sending it with 0 hesitation
it's come to my attention that people are having trouble distinguishing between laila's gf, laila's bestgirlbrotherfriend, laila's teammate who she's always carrying around, and laila's many other blondes, so i did some service journalism.
kk harvey. i feel like if you're reading this, you don't really need me to explain who kk is nor what her relationship to laila is, because you already know that they are Brothers, who are girls, but of course also "bestfriends" who [infinity emoji] [heart emoji] [interracial handshake emoji] each other.
is she normal about laila? obviously not.
chloe baker. chloe was the university of wisconsin's third-string goaltender for the same four years that laila was there. she and laila and kk are really close friends. because she was clearly never pursuing hockey professionally, she had a more normal life at wisco than many of her her teammates, and she made a lot of non-athlete friends, including one who would eventually become laila's girlfriend.
is she normal about laila? no, not even a little bit. i think she's straight but she and laila had something extremely weird and gay and fake-flirty going on for a minute there. they made a heated rivalry reenactment tiktok and laila used to carry chloe all the time and then she posted a video of laila picking her up captioned "who needs a boy when i have laila" and the thigh grab.
chloe's best friend clara, who is now laila's girlfriend, knew laila casually through chloe for a while. based on insta, they seem to have gotten closer or started dating during or right after they both went on chloe's birthday trip to chicago last summer. kk either wasn't invited or didn't come on the trip. there's something very compelling about everything changing when kk wasn't there, and there's something very compelling about laila wrapping up her dumb fake gay bullshit with chloe to actually date her best friend instead, and there's something very compelling about that one tiktok live where laila and chloe are whispering to each other in the backseat of kk's car and kk is pretending to joke about being excluded but is actually clearly for real upset at being left out. what is laila doing with these three!!
clara. laila's gf, chloe's best friend, and bandit edwards-harvey the cat's stepmommy. she does not play hockey and met chloe in class (they share a major). she went to to olympics to support laila.
is she normal about laila? no, but she's not normal in a normal way, because she is dating laila. she is perhaps the only one who is allowed to act the way she does.
kirsten simms. laila's long-time teammate who went to boarding school with her (and kk), and then also played on the badgers for all four years with her and the olympics in 2026 with her. she will play in the PWHL next year. i am also legally obligated to report that she is the most clutch player of all time and has a very hot girlfriend.
is she normal about laila? yes, she loves laila down but is probably more or less the most normal of laila's blondes, using phrases such as "like a sister to me" instead of "brooooooo [gif of a fox doing the scuba] you're pretty good at hockey ig." laila has repaid simms for these many years of sisterly love and support by sometimes posting pics of herself and kk to insta with simms cropped out.
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