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I really cannot emphasize enough how much depression brain is a lying piece of shit.
I am not a natively optimistic person, Iâm not a âlook on the bright sideâ pollyanna who ignores negative things.
But breaking your cycle of negative thoughts/fixations by spending a little bit of time every day going âyou know what, I heard Judas Priest on the radio today and found out that Rob Halford wrote a book and thatâs coolâ or âwow the sunset was very pretty so even if everything else sucked thereâs thatâ or âmy social media friend is having a good dayâ will make you feel better and will make the world seem like less of an oppressive, insurmountable slog of misery IF ONLY because your negative depression brain isnât getting constant reinforcement from your negative thoughts.
I know it sounds like Iâm saying âThink happy thoughts to make the depression go awayâ but what Iâm saying is âmake yourself think about happy - or at least not actively miserable - things once or twice a day to remind your lying piece of shit depression brain that not literally every single thing in the world contributes to your miseryâ
We get into depressive ruts and we reinforce negative thoughts with further negativity and that is part of the illness! Thatâs a symptom! And the treatment for that symptom is not uniformly reinforcing the negativity.
Also your depression brain forgets what it feels like to feel good?
Like. When youâre depressed you canât remember happy. Youâre Frodo in Mordor:
I canât recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass. Iâm naked in the dark. Thereâs nothing - no veil between me and the wheel of fire. I can see him with my waking eyes.
And your journal of things that made you feel happy or grateful is Sam:
Then let us be rid of it, once and for all. I canât carry the ring for you, but I can carry you!
Frodo wouldnât have gotten very far without Sam. Donât go walking into Mordor alone.
Iâm not super keen on the concept of âgratitudeâ - it can be extremely difficult to feel thankful or grateful when youâre depressed and often thereâs nothing that I feel thankful or grateful *to* - gratitude is an emotion that doesnât resonate with me very well.
Hedonism, though.
Write down when you were happy because of how soft a catâs head was when you petted it. Write down that you really enjoyed your first PSL of the season. Write down that it felt good to sit with your partner and watch bad TV. Write down that it was nice to go for a drive and take photos out the window. Write down that you felt accomplished after you finished an essay and turned it in. Write down that you liked seeing how many rows youâd added to a crochet project.
Itâs not just that depression numbs you to the world and makes everything seem pointless; if your depression is bad enough you canât actually remember pleasure.
So write it down when something feels good and when youâre sitting there going âwhat the fuck is the point of all of this, nothing means anythingâ you remember that cats are soft, that sunshine is warm, that you can laugh with people you love, sometimes, and all of *that* will remind you that your depression brain is a lying sack of shit.
âWhen was the last time you were really happy,â depression brain says.
âThree weeks and two days ago when I had a nice phone call with my friend, shut the fuck up, you lying piece of shit,â you answer back. Itâs in the journal, after all.
(Also use your journal as a list of things to do when you feel like shit. Did petting a cat make you feel good? Go pet another cat. Did working on a crafting project lift your mood? Get out the fucking glitter, if youâre gonna be sad anyway it canât hurt to be sad AND sparkly.)
i keep trying to memorize every detail of the moments i live in. in the soreness of my legs from standing so long at a concert, the chill of the night, the patterns of a tablecloth, the oily texture in my mouth after eating fried bananas. i keep trying to memorize the feelings, the quiet contentedness, the laughter, the excitement. i keep trying to memorize the people, their smiles, the way they speak, what makes them laugh. iâm constantly on the cusp of the next part of my life and thatâs just so.. strange. but it makes it so much easier to find happiness no matter whatâs happening to me, in a way? because iâm already kind of looking at life with those rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, simply because i know these are times iâll never be able to live again, and these are people i might not always have, and that makes it so much easier to appreciate everything i might miss later.Â
The corpse you carry within you will soon feed the new life bursting out from your ribs. Nurture it. Salvage what you can.

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my mom says sheâs not a hugger. but when i put my arms around her on a gloomy day or after bad news sheâs the last to let go. my dad says he doesnât want gifts on his birthday, but i see the way his face light up when i get him a card with a nice message and a box full of chocolate anyway. heâs just a kid inside, still. it makes him giddy. my brother never says i love you. but when i tell him âi just need to finish the dishes before i vacuum!â he wordlessly goes to vacuum the entire house before i can, and if he sees me struggle with a wrapper or a jar or a bottle he mutters âcâmereâ and opens it for me without even sparing me a glance. the thing is, people love you quietly, and you love them quietly, and the air is buzzing with tiny but grand gestures & once you look for them, you find them everywhere. i think thatâs really beautiful.
Monschau Germany
Monschau is a small historical town located in the hills of the North Eifel in North Rhine-Westphalia (German: Nordrhein-Westfalen) in Germany, situated just 4 km across the Belgian border. The picturesque old town center has many preserved 300 years old half-timbered houses along the river Rur.
Š J.HÜhn
Mahmoud Darwish, âLike a Small CafĂŠ, Thatâs Love,â in Almond Blossoms and Beyond, tr. Mohammad Shaheen [text ID under the cut]
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good evening to girls who are half tree, guys whoâve died twice, guys that have been dead for seven years, bisexuals who are possessed by a forest, gays that can take objects out of their dreams, guys that make you hold a robotic bee in a pit, dead welsh kings, psychic moms, latin teachers that have been framed for murder, boys without internal organs, hit men that read anglo-saxon poetry, and declan
Iâve heard this so much, itâs so horrible to hear but itâs true and it happens a lot

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I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books Iâll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to, not because Iâve got something to prove. I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be, boundless and infinite.
There comes a point in life where you just want better for yourself. A better life, better people, better energies, better routine, better faith, better health, better mental progression.Â
âBecoming literate, then, means far more than learning to decode the written representation of a sound system. It is truly an act of knowing, through which a person is able to look critically at the world he/she lives in, and to reflect and act upon it.â â Paulo Freire, Cultural Action for Freedom
[ig//talesfortay]
Yaks at Baishui river, Lijiang, China
There comes a point in life where you just want better for yourself. A better life, better people, better energies, better routine, better faith, better health, better mental progression.Â

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i wish a lot of things and sometimes theyâre not good thingsÂ
i wish i could throw away all of my clothes and things and completely start over from scratch
i wish i had a good relationship with food
i wish i had stronger convictions
i wish i didnât exist
i wish i could be myself comfortably in every situation and place
i wish i wasnât afraid to take up space
i wish i didnât care so muchÂ
i wish i realized earlier that i had more options and capabilities than i thoughtÂ
i wish i wasnât so good at lying
i wish it rained more
i wish i could take good photographs
i wish everyone was kinder and more understanding and accepting
i wish the world was never createdÂ
i wish i wasnât averageÂ
i wish i couldnât feel other peopleâs emotionsÂ
i wish a lot of things, maybe too many thingsÂ
run away with me. run away with me to a small little village where nobody knows our names. letâs run away from home and letâs start new lives. a town in the countryside. where no one knows where we came from, and no one cares who we were. we can live in a cottage, and bake bread, and visit the market everyday. we can have a garden, and we can live in peace.
or do you want to go to the city? sit in parks, and visit cafes. we can go to museums and walk the streets, watching the people passing by. a city where people ignore us, and we can have little adventures. letâs drink expensive lattes and fancy pastries. we can have a small apartment, and fill it with our stuff. run away with me.