you know that long-awaited thing when a character at some loaded point in the story finally has a breakdown and their pain is out for everyone around to see? it somehow seems very fitting (but at the same time so so heartbreaking) that Laios Touden in Dungeon Meshi [careful, major manga spoilers, even if mostly vague ones] never truly gets a moment like that.
not even in the chapter 67, when forced to do the absolute worst thing possible for him. a quite sentimental man, who easily cries over many little things that are dear to his heart, when faced with the absolute nightmare of a task just goes almost completely blank, doing everything almost mechanically, and in the end Chilchuck even had to hit him repeatedly for Laios to finally loosen his hold. it's very painful to see but it also makes sense for a guy who was so used to escaping this world in his mind since he was just a little kid.
nor does he really get to have a proper breakdown after the dungeon's collapse. and it's so sad to see him trying to hide from everyone, ashamed and afraid to meet them (and scared about the meaning of the curse, that everything they did could be for nothing but not even being able to say anything about it out loud on his own). it's also very sad that all those things that the demon used against him, all this pain and struggles he has hidden within his soul (but also the love he had for his friends!), it hasn't been seen by anyone else, including the members of his party. they all assumed the demon taking over was only about Laios' wish to become a monster and he didn't even try to explain himself afterwards, so resigned to everyone's judgement and condemnation. to think of it, even when he answered Senshi's question earlier about why he and Falin became adventurers, it wasn't really clear from his words how much he has suffered and in what terrible state Falin had found him.
it breaks my heart that he didn't get a chance to be truly seen but it's also, you know, quite real too. and at the same time the friendships he was left with at the end of the story give me hope that he can have a chance to truly open up within them, to release at least some of his struggles out and get his pain acknowledged. as if to balance things out, it also warms my heart that he was accepted and loved just for who he is, despite his friends not knowing all of these things about him.
