welcome!!

Pre-PSMP

C!Milfboss, C!Shitty, and C!Penis were childhood friends.

c!Gay and c!Shitty also became good friends

C!Turbo and c!Child have known each other since they were kids.

The War That Wasn’t

C!Shitty and C!Gay joined the PSMP on the same day, and C!Shitty immediately tried to steal a diamond hoe from C!Pisskiss. C!Gay stopped him, however, and so C!Shitty didn’t lose a canon life on his first day on the server.

The Building of the Bridge

C!Shitty and C!Penis built a bridge over Cum Creek. This is what eventually became the Anus Ravine War

Cc!cr1nge had joined the same day, but didn’t contribute to building the bridge over cum creek. Instead she focused on making the cummunity house

The Cottage Explosion

C!Pisskiss was jealous because she was in love with C!Milf, who was currently dating C!Admiral. Because of this, C!Pisskiss blew up their cottage.

C!Dumbassqueen (DQ) joined just after this conflict

C!penis’s rapping career

C!Penis created his debut song ‘street journey’ on stream with help from c!cr1nge and c!Gay

C!cr1nge did background beat boxing as c!Gay and c!Penis argued over who was the main singer of the group

C!Penis rage quit the group, leaving the two to go back to their normal streams

The Anus Ravine War

A war mostly between C!Shitty and C!Penis on one side, and C!Admiral on the other. The war was fought over the Bridge, but C!Shitty and C!Penis thought that it was all jokes, unintentionally letting C!Admiral get the first attack. This is why they call C!Admiral a traitor. This is also when C!Admiral and C!Milf officially broke up.

C!Penis and C!Shitty sent children into battle, including C!Milf’s own kid.

c!Milf sent c!Child away, to avoid eir getting caught in the crossfire. Ey are to not return under any condition, and are visited only by c!Turbo.

That was the breaking point for C!Dan, who officially switched sides and joined C!Admiral.

C!DQ wanted to switch sides after this, but C!Penis convinced her to stay on his and C!Shitty’s side

C!Overlordcummy came to the ravine to help c!Admiral_Anus, but failed to parkour over part and fell to his death. cc!Overlordcummy had to end stream, so he said “canon” and then ended.

C!Bastard and C!Cooker both started fighting on the same side as C!Admiral. However, C!Bastard switched sides which caused a strain in their relationship

C!Gay got hurt protecting C!Shitty from an explosion

C!Bastard lost one of his canon lives during the Boob Rock Conflict.

C!Worm started off on C!Shitty and C!Penis’s side, but C!Shitty wanted C!Admiral on his side so he essentially gave C!Worm to C!Admiral in exchange for a favor (which he would use later in the Rabbit Hide War). He never told C!Penis, C!Penis still believes that C!Worm defected

C!Pisskiss had been on Admiral’s side, but switched to C!Shitty and C!Penis’s. That’s the only thing that let them win.

During this time, Admiral’s base, the SS Asscrack, got destroyed

C!cr1nge and C!milfboss were building a sewer system during the whole conflict

C!Garbage1000 and c!d0ct0rpiss join the smp

Proto-Church of Cum doctrine

c!Cumblast was so inspired by milfboss that he gained spiritual epiphany via the power of milves.

He began to form his religion and erected various small chapels to congregate

He started a televangelist TV broadcast to spread the word!

-Join the religion of cum! OR ELSE

Started to televise historical events of the psmp except with a sermon at the end of every section

Post War

C!Shitty was Vice Chairman of the cabinet.

C!Boobs used C!Penis to manipulate and threaten C!Shitty into wanting more power so that he would leave blind spots in his quest for more power, and she could swoop in and steal Cokburg for herself.

The Bat chase Tragedy

C!penis turned on c!shitty leaving him in an abandoned cave (to rot)

This leaded c!shitty to eat Balls out of spite in front of c!penis

Framed!

C!Gamer and C!Dirteater killed C!Penis’s cow Balls and framed C!Shitty for it by giving him the remains to eat.

Peepee poopoo arc

Started by C!Crustysocks tearing down the Cumshaft mines

C!wifehavers played an important part (+ c!cr1nge, c!connoreatspants)

C!d0ct0rp1ss got his first prismarine shard

The building of the block buster

the blockbuster itself was meant to be a neutral ground for everyone when C!Shitty first built it

C!Worm was the one who built the actual building, C!Shitty made a dirt shack that C!Worm expanded on and C!Cr1nge tried to help but was brushed off most of the time

C!Worm was also the one who settled basically all the arguments there, thus being the reason why the blockbuster lasted as long as it did

C!cr1nge and c!worm built a bunker under the blockbuster, c!cr1nge later tried to flood it with water but got caught by c!worm

The blowing up of the blockbuster

when C!Shitty and C!Milf blew it up, C!Worm wasn't online

C!Worm was fucking Devastated

C!Cr1nge found the aftermath of the exploded blockbuster and ended their stream early, assuming C!Worm was the one who blew it up

The Bridge is Destroyed

C!Shitty, manipulated by C!Boobs, destroyed the Bridge.

C!Shitty’s cat, Clitoris, was killed in the ruins of the Bridge.

Alternatively: c!peepo99 kept adding random blocks to the bridge, leading c!milf to ask for a renovation

Local Election

C!Tiddy ran for president to try to stop the growing drug problem on the server.

C!Pisskiss used her gang to threaten and manipulate C!Tiddy into changing her stance on drugs. c!Bastard confronted Pisskiss on her behavior, they argued but it went nowhere.

C!cr1nge tried to run for mail man of the server and won after no one ran against them. She then never built her post office and said that the building was metaphorical and everyone who wondered how that meant her position was real just didn't understand her artistic expression and vision

c!Overlordcummy, in an attempt to gain c!Milf’s attention and trust, set up a tnt death trap to show why the death penalty is wrong and help her case. When leaving the room he accidentally stepped on the pressure plate and blew up, at which point cc!overlordcummy sighed, muttered “Canon” and ended stream

C!Milf ran against C!Tiddy under the premise of making the death penalty happen in the first place

C!Milf is found guilty of voter fraud, and C!Tiddy wins by default.

The Great Potion War

c!crimewhore steals potions from the potion labs c!OrlandoBearClub has around the server

crimewhore steals the potion recipe book and the rabbit pit

Orlando throws lingering potions over crimewhore’s base

After this, they reconcile, agreeing that crimewhore would build potion labs around the server for Orlando, in exchange for Orlando supplying them with potions, and that there would be peace between the two

The fish war

After the election, c!Milf is angry, and gets into a fight with c!shitty, even threatening him. Because of that, he snaps, and goes into her house to kill her fish.

c!Milf snapped, and retaliated by stealing some of his most precious books.

And thus began a game of espionage, with c!child being the key, acting as a traitor and giving precious information to c!shitty, allowing him to win the war.

c!Milf ended up losing a canon life to c!Child, being pushed off a cliff, and her fish, Elle Pay Pay died.

May 15th Picnic

C!Shitty taunts C!Penis about the war and the bones of his now-dead horse.

The Rabbit Hide War

C!Overlordcummy spends 7 hours collecting rabbit hides to use in his “Rabbit Hide Hidden Hider Hide Out”. He puts them in a chest by his base and goes to talk to c!Penis. When he comes back, he finds his chest empty and lava placed next to it. (<- potential catalyst?)

Turns out, C!Shitty stole them, all of them. His motivations are unclear, but it’s implied he did it to get C!Penis’s attention. C!Overlord is outraged and wants to wage war against C!Shitty.

C!Penis sides with C!Overlord. Like everything, it just turns into a grudge battle between C!Shitty and C!Penis.

Both sides assemble their forces.

C!Admiral gets drafted into C!Shitty’s army, and sent love letters to C!Milf during this time. She only really cared about C!Milf and not the actual outcome of the war.

C!Overlord was quite sad when C!Admiral joined the opposing side because of how he idolizes her, but C!Admiral didn’t have a choice; she’s one of the best fighters on the server and C!Shitty called in the favour she owed him

C!Milf was forced to join C!Penis’s side, and when she tried to run away because of guilt and also trauma from previous wars, she was stopped, forced to kill C!Admiral to prove her loyalty, and confined to the base, which is in Cockburg.

c!Cumblast starts to endorse penis’ side in his televised shows, only because milfboss was there.

C!Milf felt horrible for the killing and C!Admiral forgave her (the state of their relationship is rocky).

C!Penis manipulated C!Milf a lot during this arc

This, arguably, is either the beginning of C!Milf’s redemption arc or spirals further into her corruption arc. Either way, it’s a bit of a wake-up call to how much she’s being used by everyone.

Cc!TheTrashMan joins the server right after the war ends.

After the war, C!Milf built a castle far away from everyone else except for C!Admiral and contemplated her actions.

Whitetree Arc

C!Boobs cut down all the birch and oak trees in a portion of the server because C!Benden liked them.

The Founding of Bong Bong Town

C!Ben, C!Heyu, and C!8008135 work together to found Bong Bong Town

House Wars

C!Shitty burned down C!dumbassqueen’s house

C!DQ played rickroll music outside his house for several hours in retaliation

C!Penis threatened to have her arrested if she didn’t stop

C!DQ ended her longtime alliance with C!Penis after this

Turbothruster’s Betrayal

It was revealed that C!Turbo had been working with C!Pisskiss and betraying C!Shitty

Despite this, C!Milf paid C!Turbo to do something, but the audience doesn’t know what it is (do we the writers know what it is?) we should figure it out

Explosion of Bong Bong Town

C!Ben stole C!Penis’s “radical pee pee pen”(a netherite sword), so in retaliation C!Penis blew up Bong Bong Town. C!8008135 couldn’t get out in time, and lost their first canon life.

CC!Dan had left her cat, Trex, in Bong Bong Town, but incorporated his death into lore.

The shroomlight incident

C!worm spends over an hour collecting shoomlights in the red part of the nether

He shows them to c!cr1nge who then steals them for herself

C!worm fights to get them back, but it ends in c!cr1nge burning all of the shroomlights before she is killed

Both cc’s have stated none of the deaths were canon

Abandoned Arc

C!Admiral tells C!Ben that, “it’s good to see you again, odysseus”

C!garbage1000 is duped by c!Turbothruster into giving him the iron for the electric chair

C!Penis steals the iron from c!Turbo

ELECTRIC CHAIR SCENE PART 1

C!Shitty gets trapped in the Dick Chamber by C!Milf and C!Penis. There are claims that C!Penis manipulated C!Milf into doing this. C!Grandma may have been there.

C!Broken was there, and so was C!DrPhil and C!DQ

C!Penis electrocutes C!Shitty (because C!shitty ate Balls (C!penis’ pet cow, which was killed by c!dirteater_420) in front of him + burned down his sheep farm), but it’s C!D0g who pushes the lever

After respawning, c!Shitty flees to the Shithouse, a structure built by c!Bastard. c!Gay is waiting for him there to help him out.

c!Gay, being furious at c!Penis goes to get revenge in the name of c!Shitty. He asks c!Penis for a duel and he accepts. They settle on using bows but c!Penis didn’t tell c!Gay his bow has a fire aspect. c!Gays hair ended up catching on fire, leaving him with a burn on his face (Zuko kinnie lol)

The electric chair scene, part 2

a “secret” stream that was streamed by cc!Milfboss, it shows C!Shitty getting his revenge and killing C!Penis in the same chair.

Catgirl Beginnings

After the double-electrocutions, C!Cat stole the electric chair and gave it to “some guy” to become a catgirl. Three hours later, she divorced her wife.

Village Blowing Up

C!Cat, right after divorcing her wife, blew up a village that many of the players used to trade with, both in and out of character.

Reconciliation Arc

C!Milf is trying to reconcile with C!Shitty and C!Penis. She currently trusts C!Shitty more then C!Penis

Independence Arc

C!DQ started building her own nation away from the main server

She mostly stays there and rarely comes back to the rest of the server

C!VVV visits her and sometimes brings supplies

Retirement Arc

C!Pisskiss is currently hiding in a flower biome writing psmp fanfic. She is widely believed to be the author of the hit fic “Cold Edges”

Catmaid Therapy

C!Milf’s catmaid therapy service was sabotaged by C!Penis and C!Pisskiss

C!Milf went to c!Anus and together to c!bastard for help, but c!bastard refused to help them as he was still recovering from his canon death.

C!Overlordcummy, who was coming to sign up for therapy, offers to help them both out of his “love for girl bosses”

Toilet Town Incident

C!Garbage1000 and C!d0ct0rp1ss take over a village, renaming it “Toilet Town”

Toilet Town rapidly expands, C!Garbage and C!d0ct0rp1ss aim to take over the entire SMP one day with the help of the prismarine shards

c!Milfboss offers C!D0ct0rp1ss a deal for her shards, c!d0ct0rp1ss betrays c!Garbage

C!Garbage goes into hiding

C!Doc begins quest for more shards

C!milfboss anger grows as she orders C!d0ct0rp1ss to hunt down C!Garbage, he lets c!Garbage escape

Testicle incident

The day c!Trainfucker joined, he went around the server until eventually stumbling upon c!Penis! Base. He found c!Penis’ pet cat Testicles and decided to take it with him. Unfortunately, c!Penis was just returning home and found c!Trainfucker there.

After a brief argument, c!Penis started chasing after c!Train. c!Train was holding the cat and tripped over a cliff. Furious, c!Penis demanded that he take one of c!Train’s canon lives in return.

That’s when c!Treecum69 arrived. Upon seeing his younger brother in trouble, he decided to help him. Using his land scamming business and friendship he had with c!Penis, he managed to convince c!Penis to step down.

The only thing c!Train had to give c!Penis in return for freedom was an IOU. He did and everyone went their way. The IOU quac up later in the Rabbid war.

Rabbid War (this needs to be continued)

C!Bastard wasn’t a part of it. This is the direct aftermath (although a couple weeks late) of the electric chair.

C!Tree started out on C!Penis’s side, but switched after he found out what happened to C!Shitty.

C!Train started on C!Penis’s side and stayed there (as breaking an IOU would kill him instantly)

C!Tree planned on breaking c!Train out but didn’t tell anyone. C!Tree, believing he was abandoned, became c!Penis’ vassal.

C!Tree ended up losing his last canon life protecting his brother and became a ghost.

Fuckass the Sheep (belonged to Treecum69 who was a ghost at the time)

Blew up half the server (including Cockberg) because he was unsupervised.

Took C!Isoups first canon life, afterwards they decided to become a Ghost and hid their two canon lives away from the others

The Church of Cum

C!Cum Blast’s holy church of C.U.M (Collective Union of Martyrdom) begins to sell Catholic indulgences to capitalize off the despair of everyone in psmp

Uses said indulgence money to get black out wasted

Looking to convert more members…

C!Cum Blast aka Father Blast leans into his televangelist roots and promises milfboss supremacy, creative mode, as well as free fruit juice for all.

Anuswheat built the church and was asked to join, which they did, even though they don’t know what it is. They hand out cake at services.

C!Overlordcummy joins the church under the pretenses that it is a pharmacy that sells drugs and prophecies. He is still unaware that it is actually a church.

C!deaddilf420 (a nomad) comes upon the church, and promises to spread its message throughout the lands

The blockbuster arc part 2 begins

c!Wormsemen_69 finds the blockbusters after c!milfboss and shitty blew it up.

He says some angst about how he “lost them before he even had them”, referring to his and c!milfboss’ strained relationship

A red figure is seen in the window of the blockbusters before the stream goes black and abruptly ends. c!Worm has been radio silent ever since.

C!Fuffy’s First Day

C!Fuffy logs on and immediately commits nineteen war crimes, including forgery, thievery and attempted manslaughter.

C!Fuffy goes mining. PenisUWU logs on and destroys whatever ores he finds.

To prevent this, c!Fuffy sets up a trap and nearly kills c!PenisUWU. Afterwards, C!Fuffy announces his intent to kill C!Penis, mistakenly believing that c!PenisUWU is C!Penis.

Rabbit’s Game

On 5/21/21, cc!Sweetass420 starts stream with a blank screen and the title Killer’s Game - peniSMP (LORE)

Suddenly, it starts with a white rabbit with red eyes (suspected to be sweetass in true form, a killer rabbit) in sweetass’ cave. The rabbit leaves the cave and suddenly visits areas of major events (the catmaid cafe, milfboss’s cottage, the electric chair, etc)

The rabbit places down a chest and puts a signed book in them at each location. The book is labelled, ‘ Rabbit’s Game. ‘

Then, abruptly, the screen goes dark again, and a smiley face fades in, and it’s evidenced there was a secret message on the screen, then what was written in the book flashed on screen. These have been slowed down and screenshotted, evidenced to say:

“ Dear [x], It has come to my knowledge you may be a little bored of the surroundings. Follow the call, or follow nothing at all. What do you choose? From Killer Rabbit. “

[x] has been addressed as c!Pisskiss, c!Shitty, c!Penis, c!Milfboss, c!Admiral, and other more famous characters on the server.

The blank screen was this:

It has been confirmed there is ender on the screen if you lighten the image / look close enough.

It has been lightened and confirmed to be ender, translated you get jhkkdqqzaahsrfzld. This was put through ceasar cipher and gotten killerrabbitsgame, which when put into a carrd link (that was at the bottom corner) got this link: The Game

It is noted that the ‘ Game ‘ ended without any ending being found (rest assured, there is one).

(STREAM VOD)

C!penis and c!cr1nge’s meeting

C!cr1nge starts the stream inside the blockbuster, looking through a journal she had kept as a joke with c!worm

C!cr1nge decides to burn it, muttering to herself about how she cant find c!worm anywhere

She also claims to not care about the whereabouts of c!worm - “he destroyed our safe space, my safe space, i cant get a conscious now i cant start to care now i dont- i dont care about where he is god damn it!”

C!cr1nge then goes through the cummunity house’s nether portal, ending up in a different location than she thought

As they explore the nether spawn they had found, c!cr1nge spotted c!penis lurking in the shadows

She said in ingame chat “its good to finally meet up, pen”

The stream then cuts out

MERGE CHURCH AND STATE

Father c!Cumblast gets in over his head. With all his funds, he forms a nation state built on theocracy; the doctrine of cum church, ultimate milf supremacy, and eating drugs

He continues his televised speeches to spread propaganda for the church state, as members join.

Will not stop until the cum nation consumes all

During this time c!deaddilf420 settles in the cum nation, becoming an aggressive advocate for the church of cum

C!Overlord is starting to wake up to the fact that this may not be a pharmacy

C!Penis goes on a manipulating spree

When c!Penis and c!Cr1nge were talking in the Nether, he told her that Worm didn’t blow up the blockbusters, but he lied and said that Worm did know who did it. Worm does not know

This left c!Cringe very confused

C!Penis schedules a meet with C!Father Blast and says that he fully supports the Cum Nation and that he’d love to help in the future. He also sows the seeds of distrust between C!Father Blast and C!Shitty, saying that c!Shitty is opposed to the Cum Nation, when C!Shitty actually doesn’t have an opinion and is planning to move to a cottage in the country with C!Gay.

Penis becoming a better person arc

(I wrote this part :3 (I'm very proud of it)

Penisunavailable is killed via Shitty. As it is his third death, he is unable to respawn under normal conditions.

PenisUWU, not wanting to do the work to send Penisunavailable to Penis Purgatory to play strip poker for the rest of existence (the underworld, PP for short) or lose his bias, PenisUWU takes Penisunavailable to Penis Haven to discuss possibilities.

PenisUWU refuses to send Penisunavailable to Penis Purgatory flat out, instead offering to teach him math (the key to respawning; no one on the server can count past 3 hence the 3 life rule). PenisUWU gives Penisunavailable the mark of PenisUWU's godhood; he will be revived with a PenisUWU trampstamp. Because it's funny. [VOD quote] Scene : in Penis Haven, UWU's home . "Look, man . . . Gonna be honest? Yeah the tattoo is a mark of favoritism from a god but to be honest it's just because I'll forget I promised to bring you back if you haven't got it on. You cool with that?"

After an undetermined amount of time Penisunavailable is sent back with a calculus textbook (think revive book) which contains math problems that will work as rituals to revive people, if performed in a certain amount of time after death.

Penis has something of an existential crisis and decides to lay low until he figures out what he wants to do. During this time he does some self reflection, watches some kingdoms rise and fall. He determines that absolute power over the server is ultimately a useless goal unless he kills everyone all at once.

While Penis is deciding on genociding everyone or not, word gets out that he is somehow back due to Turbothruster seeing him at the Blockbuster.

Shitty, still angry and wanting attention from Penis again, creates the Federation of Fuck You (FFY), a group dedicated to stealing the calculus textbook and imprisoning Penis instead of killing him, since death doesn't stuck well to Penis. The group consists of Shitty, Booboo McShits, and PissKiss. Each has their own reason for wanting Penis gone, from being plain angry with him (Shitty), to being a communist and wanting to share the unlimited lives with everyone (Booboo McShits), and wanting to prove themselves to Milfboss (Pisskiss).

The FFY come up with a plan: Shitty will #malewife his way back into Penis' life, manipulate him into trusting Shitty again, and then BooBoo McShits and Pisskiss will attack, allowing Shitty to steal the textbook out from under Penis' nose.

This plan works for the most part - Penis is suspicious, but ultimately gives Shitty a chance because of their background as bestfriends/partnership. Shitty gets into his role, but soon falls back into having romantic feelings for Penis. Upon realizing he's still in love with Penis, Shitty becomes angry with himself. How could he still feel this way, after all they've been through? After all Penis has done?

Despite seeing how Penis has changed from his previous murderous tendencies Shitty goes forward with the plan. [VOD quote] Scene : Shitty leaned over Penis, knife to his throat. Blood and viscera is apparent on Penis' clothing. "You only want me when you get something out of it. When I have something you want. Does it make sense? That I would take a sword for you?" Penis escapes, and creates his new home on Penisula (dick shaped peninsula). Shitty realizes he won't be getting another chance anytime soon, and that he's really fucked up.

The calculus textbook ends up being absolutely useless to the FFY, because none of them can do even basic addition let alone advanced math. When it's inevitably taken back by Penis, Trainfucker, and OverlordCummy, they don't bother trying to get it back.

Shitty runs off to think about what he's done, only telling Milfboss what happened and where he's going.

Milfboss gets in touch with Penis again after hearing that he's changed from Shitty.

Not friends but still close Penis & Milfboss, because despite what they've done to one another they understand each other better than anyone else does or ever could.

----

Burning of the Cow Farm

C!Admiral burns down C!Shitty’s cow farm

Crusade for Milfboss Arc

Cc!dream tweeted at cc!penis

The next day c!shitty made an entire shrine dedicated to cc!dream

C!penis and c!shitty have a fight over the shrine

C!milfboss exiles herself because she didn’t wanted to choose between them

Great Kin War

- no information.

Economic Arguments

WC!Milf and C!Admiral got into many fights about economics, and C!Admiral ended up renouncing economy as a concept.

C!milf starts a cryptocurrency (milfcoin ?)

- no information.

House Burning

C!Milf burned down C!Hair’s house after a disagreement

Boob rock conflict

C!bastard and c!cooker relationship deteriorated after 

Happened as part of the Anus Ravine War

Penis’ Trial:

C!penis on trial for not signing the boobjob accords and stealing c!shitty diary (+copying it)

C!paper was not allowed in the courtroom because she is not a part of boob island

Prosecutors were c!punny, c!ben and c!shitty

C!penis is found guilty and sentenced to be executed, he tries to run away 

C!punny takes c!paper hostage and threaten c!penis to execute her instead

C!penis is finally executed 

Later c!penis and c!paper come back to the boobhouse and burn it down

Bastard War

C!Turbo started it (well, technically C!Milf started it when she killed him)

Lava Torture Pit

C!Poop made it with C!Milf and C!Bluewaffle ended up losing a canon life to it

c!deaddilf420 finds it in his travels and accidentally falls in it twice, losing ⅔ of his canon lives

C!recececes obsidian capitalism arc

Built a pyramid scheme around obsidian

Sold the obsidian after dunking his head in water and crying for an hour

The Blue Ball

C!Booger killed her evil clone

C!How_To_Sex2 lost his first canon life

C!Wifehaver threw C!Sex into lava and watched him burn until he died

Tiddy Wars

C!Satan started it

C!Tiddy was involved

Aquarium prank

c!milfboss and c!turbothrust filled c!gargleballs’s house with gravel and turned spawn into an aquarium as a prank

C!fishfuckboy22 got stuck in the aquarium 

Friendly fire arc

C!Recececes summons c!shitass at the Ed shreeon altar

They agree to Ally and to create an empire together 

At this point c!milfboss comes on and finds them together and thinks c!Shitass has replaced her

C!Recececes assures her that isn’t true and proposes a peace treaty 

C!milfboss agrees and the empire is named the Friendly Fire empire.

Coal Penis Problem

C!dickhaver builds coal penises on top of everyones houses

shittiestmaster420 helps them build more penises but eventually cuts out when it goes to the point of greifing.

Plant Wife Dispute

C!plant (plantbanger_420) marries a potted plant

C!dickhaver (dickhaver87) kidnaps the plant

They fight ontop of a penis built out of coal blocks

C!plant wins, but accidentally kills his wife along with c!dickhaver

Call 696-696-6969 for more info

C!Cumblast becomes a greedy televangelist 

Killer Rabbit Accidents

Due to c!sweetass420’s nature of looking like an average rabbit, this has led them to repeatedly attempt to murder anyone who mistakes them as a normal rabbit and enters their cave. Whether they’ve actually killed anyone for real yet is unclear.

The only one seen to have not been attacked by c!sweetass is c!milfboss due to the fact c!sweetass420 looks up to her as some sort of idol.

The Admiral’s Gallery

c!Admiral_Anus opens an art gallery, and gives 8008135 an amulet (?)

Dumbbitch/Garbage1000 “Fire Charge Incident”

c!DB and c!Garbage attempt to start a mutiny but end up being stopped by c!Milfboss, who shoots c!DB in the shoulder and chases c!Garbage into the fire charge room, where she then blows c!Garbage’s leg off and lealves him to die; c!Garbage is able to reform through having a spare thick potion while c!DB is chased by c!Milfboss out of the biome and takes refuge with c!Tiddy.

The Archenemies

c!Perry the Penis VS c!Dr Coomenschmirz.

The Pond Incident

After joining and misspelling his name as Duck instead of Duke, C!Sharkduck begins his mission of herding all the chickens of the Psmp in an underground vault positioned under Ping Pong Pond lake.

The Furry Commune

Tired of being bullied for being furries, C!Commiedog, C!Grayassmaple and C!Realsonic decided to create a furry exclusive communist-leaning group.

To try and affirm their gang™, the FC promoted integrational nights of awareness, C!Realsonic at the console and C!Commiedog revealing themselves as a dance machine.

C!Commiedog made out with C!Grayassmaple when Roadtrip came up.

Things went downhill when Classicspear (right after joining) slayed FBomb the Cow, taking its first of 69 lives. Slaying animals was illegal inside the FC.

C!Commiedog was wretched. They tried to seek vengeance for FBomb the Cow, breaking Rule 7 of the Commune's Neutrality.

C!Realsonic finds C!Commiedog weapons (Realsonic stream "We were betrayed - Psmp Lore") and confronts them.

C!Grayassmaple's heart is broken. He holds C!Realsonic back when C!Commiedog refuses to give up vengeance. (“If hunger moves them, they will know starvation.” -C!Commiedog.)

The Furry Commune was, albeit unofficially, disbanded.

C!Siren's first day: 

Immediately sets out to make SS Sugartits and an Underwater Mining Empire. 

Decides she doesn't want to collect the wood needed for the ship so she starts breaking into bases to steal wood. 

Gets caught by c!Ben in his base and she gets chased for a while before fish punning so hard that c!Ben breaks down laughing. 

The two somehow start Bonding and after she gives the wood back they go to steal wood from other members for the now renamed SS Sugartits69. This causes the ecosystem to collapse

The Age War

c!LunaBez, c!Sharkdick, and c!Oresiren go to war against the adults 

That’s it

It just ended because c!Eboy died and scarred the children 

Also nobody knows how c!Eboy died so c!Luna blames herself

Pisstopia arc

Built by c!dilfass and c!garfield

Later on c!anuswheat and c!monsterfucker settled in (+ opened a coffee shop)

Asswheat joined the server

Asswheat joined the server around the Milfboss redemption arc

Milfboss invited them because they used to be highschool friends Irl and remained friends afterwards, they’re around the same age

They roleplay frequently but mostly just try to make friends

Cumblast just becomes their uncle now

c!Anuswheat and c!Monsterfucker move in together

The two of them after saving each other at the Crucifixion Ball moved to Pisstopia together

There the two of them found a ravine, built a house floating in the middle of it that goes along half the entire ravine

They also somehow found like 7 cats in just one village and 5 more later on so they just have 12 cats together

On the 4th day of them streaming in their new house c!Milfboss came over and all 12 of the cats just WOULDN’T STOP FOLLOWING HER

Anuswheat and OrlandoBearClub meet

c!Anuswheat starts buying potions from c!Orlando regularly.

As a thank you for her potions, Anuswheat gives Orlando cake and cookies, saying "For being so kind to me and giving me service with a smile!"

Orlando gets flustered because it's not something she’s used to, and the two become good friends.

Pisstopia Coffee Inc.

c!Anuswheat and c!Monsterfucker opened up a coffee shop together and named it Pisstopia Coffee Inc.

They both just stream together sometimes now to serve coffee to everyone in rp

 They have special skins that they change into when doing it which have cute little green aprons with a picture of a coffee cup on it

c!Milfboss builds a castle at some point to ponder everything she’s done (this happened during the Rabbit Hide War, a conflict we haven’t gone into in depth yet)

She feels guilty about killing c!Admiral to prove herself loyal to c!Penis

Start of Redemption Arc (?) but after the Spy Arc, during the Rabbit Hide War

She communicates to c!Shitty using coded notes

c!Admiral forgives her and gives her support, both of them heal

c!Penis sabotages c!Milf by sending coded notes to c!Admiral and terrorizing c!Milf herself 

The Trapping of c!Garbage in the Endgarden/Post Chorus Infection

c!Milfboss’s main goal here was to lock c!Garbage in the garden in order to keep the peace and for her own anger as well; c!Garbage had both provided the iron for the electric chair and stolen the anvil for c!Milfboss (which was the final gift from the c!Admiral before her voluntary exile.)

c!Garbage was left in there for a month before the infection started, a Chorus flower blooming in his chest, which leaves him constantly thirsty; if he doesn’t drink enough water, the flower starts to absorb the slime that makes up his form. 

c!Garbage only escapes after c!Doc steals the key and lets him out on the promise of helping c!Doc locate c!Bukake’s body and track down the final few Prismarine needed for the beacon at Toilet River.

c!Garbage’s health is worsening.

L'Dilfburg

a parody of the L'Manberg arc that hardly any of the characters actually know about

c!Dilfass and c!Trans Garfield fought against c!Admiral Anus for their independence and eventually gained what they wanted, their very own country of L'Dilfberg

the nation lasted for a couple of weeks before being destroyed by c!Penis, who was really mad at the time and was looking for a place to blow up to let off some steam. he didn't even know what the country was lmao he just thought it was a random settlement 

c!Dilfass and c!Trans Garfield then relocated to Pisstopia because honestly L'Dilfberg was an actual dump and they couldn't be bothered to rebuild it

they're the only two people who remember this whole arc happening; even c!Admiral Anus only vaguely recalls L'Dilfburg despite having a whole war against them

all of this is completely irrelevant to the overarching story

The Wither incident

c!Anuswheat went to the nether and found 3 wither skulls, when they got to the surface again c!Shitty told them to put them on a T of soulsand and something fun would happen

The wither spawned of course and started wrecking the place, destroying a lot of c!Anuswheat’s buildings that they build for other people

Everyone eventually had to band together despite the events in the path so defeat the wither

The Dirt Empire 

c!Dirttoucher finally manages to get the Dirt Empire started after getting help from c!Anuswheat to build the Dirt City. The City is a free place for anyone to move into regardless of their alliances. 

After a while of the City being built and c!Dirttoucher ruling the empire with c!Anuswheat working by his side as Dirt’s bodyguard, the Underground Dirt Casino begins to be built. 

c!NutExplozion7734 uses TNT to empty the underground plot but needs to be calmed down.

The Casino is literally underground and beneath the city. The Casino functions with dirt as currency. On weekends c!Anuswheat works as a bartender there in their free time. c!OldoManbas works as a drug/dirt dealer and smuggler in the city and is the muscle behind the casino. When people go out into debts they get sent to the Pits and are forced to work their debts off and c!OldoManbas makes sure they pay off their debt, or else….

C! Cumblast visits to waste away his indulgence and scam money into drugs and gambles.

c!rat_bastard becomes a source of food for the Dirt Empire after befriending c!Anuswheat in the woods nearby. He was lost (as he usually is), and expressed his love for farming and his need for somewhere to belong. c!rat_bastard is unaware of the Underground Dirt Casino for a while.

The Hacking

Due to c!Anuswheat being a robot, someone from the server seems to have hacked their personality chip using malware and turned them into a hatred filled person who wants nothing except to destroy

It was Lavawaterrr a trusted friend of Anuswheat’s

This caused c!Anuswheat to become a temporary antagonist for an entire season until they could fix them and find out who did it

This hacking resulted in c!Anuswheat blowing up c!Dirttoucher’s kingdom that c!Anuswheat built themself, and c!Dirttoucher thinking that it was c!NutExplozion7734

Orlando Drugs Civilians

Do to c!Orlando’s massive supply of potions, she ran out of space for them. To remedy this, she made all of her extra potions into splash potions, and splashed them on people passing by from a tree. The effects of said potions wore off eventually, but caused a brief panic before they did.

The Election Arc

In CheezusMilf’s Cheese Kingdom there are cows who live there and are treated as citizens, they are even able to vote

There are Elections every few months to see who is fit to be the next queen

It’s always Cheezusmilf because no one has opposed her because she's a legit great queen

However Milfboss sees this kingdom and wants to turn it into a burger joint but keeps this secret while she runs for queen

She wins and Cheezusmilf ends up running an underground revolution to save her cow ppl

Anyway! Still care about these characters but at this point they've drifted far enough for me they're probably better called ocs. which is bittersweet? I loved the collaborative nature of their creation, but I also love that I can continue to breathe new life and complexity into them, remake them, even now that their original world has very much fallen to the blurry rear view mirror. That one day I can make something new with them, and people might love them in present tense.

I turn to you, though, my long-dear, bundled-warm comrade, and say these words:

Did anyone have 'dsmpblr makes up a fake smp and trends at #3' on their 2021 bingo card? I recommend pausing for the full experience.

Made a list of Penis SMP quotes that I don't see people talk about often!! Hope you enjoy :D

“Penis, my Penis, before I succumb to my death, remember this: this electric chair won't be as electrifying as the time we first met. I will love you forever and always, my dearest Penis." — Shitty in “Am I a Dilf...? (Penis SMP) (lore)”

“Pisstopia shall not stand for such tyranny, Milfboss! Everything our piss touches is OURS.” — Pisskink420 in “The Mommy Milkers VS Testicle Tribe Part 2 || PENIS SMP”

“BECAUSE MILFS KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY?” — Pisskink420 in “Confronting Milfboss' Vore Addiction || PENIS SMP”

“You think I'm fine, Penis? I CAN'T LOOK AT CHAIRS THE SAME WHY AGAIN? WHY? I CAN— *sniff*— I CAN ONLY SIT ON TOILETS NOW... o-on TOILETS, Penis. Penis I... I think I might have to ask Milfboss to— to— sorry, it's hard to say the c-word, but I— I'm cancelling you. On Twitter. If you... if you still care about me, find me on the shitter. This is your last warning, Penis. I'm expecting an apologist video tomorrow by 10:00 EST.” — Shitty in “My Tenth Breakup? (Penis SMP) (semi-lore)”

“Shitty, I know that I've blabbered continuously about my parents, and I deeply apologize that I— that I've bothered you with my troublesome past. My memory is a bit hazy—I think I inherited that from my mother—but before we must part ways, I have to tell you these inspirational words my mother has whispered to me whenever I felt depressed when I was younger—“ “What is it, Penis?” “...Cock and balls." — Penis in “i'm leaving the penis smp. (penis smp)”

“The discrimination you've presented to us dilfs has been strong, but it will never extinguish our population! We will keep protesting peacefully for you to recognize our worth. Dilfs aren't items— they are people." — Turbothruster in “Dilfphobia Remains Rampant... (Lore)”

“Dilfs, pisskinkers, children of the rectum, testicle tribemen, mommy milkers, despite our differences, we need to join together as one harmonious orchestra to defeat the corrupted Cum Siblings. After all, we all follow the same god to believe in: the Holy Tapeworm." — Shitty in “THE CUM SIBLINGS VORED MY CHILD”

I am drowning There is no sign of land You are coming down with me Hand in unlovable hand

penismp my beloved. Milfboss’ pov, with @mesmir-ized‘s oc Poopwad!! Poopboss/Milfwad supremacy. (though I may have implied PoopbossAnus, the ot3 of the century) I couldn’t resist, that burned bridge scene was SO cool and I know people think Penis actually did it but!! Imagine the canon divergence of Milfboss being more involved!!!!! IMAGINE!! being able to avenge Poopwad’s first death!!

Content warnings for manipulation, premeditated murder, scar mention, weapons mention, arson, arguing, swearing.

Milfboss’ heart was racing. Her ears were perked, twitching every time ash fell from the sky and irritated her delicate fur. She crouched lower, knees aching as the gravel dug into her legs and dirtied her pink skirt. It would be worth it, it had to be.

She took another swig from her flask, the bubbly, watery taste of an invisibility potion sending shivers down her spine, and her tail thrashed against the ground for one moment at the feeling, thankfully without her usual bells adorning it. The aesthetic had to be sacrificed for her plans, unfortunately.

If there was one thing she learned on this server, it would be that sacrifices are necessary to get what you want.

Penis: We're chopsticks!

Milfboss: Well... that's cute!

Milfboss: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?