This is Magic

Sometimes you’ve just got to think of your favorite character getting fucked against a wall to get through the work day.

*sees the way an artist draws mouths* Oh, so you’re like HORNY horny.

I Regret To Inform You That It Was I Who Was Horny For Mouths All Along

I DON’T want the real thing. I want an affordable reproduction I can wear places and make people ask “what’s up with the shrimp ring?” and I get to explain that nobody really knows. It was just a fun fad 1900 years ago.

trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine

How on earth would they be able to tell that a bear is trans. I’m not saying they can’t be but how would they communicate that.

:/

this is so fucking funny

we the jury find the defendant not guilty your honor

beef strokin off lmfao

Not what it’s called

what’s the point of having a wifi network and not naming it something like this

This is my joy.

TWEETED AT 4 IN THE AM

got my november trends mixed up so i accidentally nutted 50k times and didn't write a single word

Full offense but some of you would run upstairs when pursued by a murderer

Fuck man! Fuck man! Fuck man! Fuck man! Fuck man! Fuck man!