Promptly Yours,

When I am at home on weekends I really struggle. Particularly when I am working 6 days a week. That one day I don’t know what to do. Do I relax? Do I clean? Do work on projects? The idea of not fully dedicating myself to one or the other and not being able to choose cam often shut me down where I choose none and just lay there or feeling panicked and sad because I feel like I tried them all a bit and did nothing properly or chose the wrong one and now the weekend had been a waste. (I was one of those “she puts 100% into all her work” kids)

But when I am on a show I get into a FLOW and it’s such a good feeling. I will continue to re-arrange my props setting checklist until it’s in the perfect order for ease of ticking. Every cue embedded in my body, I always know I know I am where I need to be in that moment, and have so many variations in my brain should certain circumstances arise. I remember being back stage as a teen in a show of Les Mis my Grandad was in, the stage manager moving me around so I’d be out of the way just at all the right moments and I remember thinking “this is what I want to do” it felt so RIGHT.

Knowing the show keeps ticking over, it will end, and tomorrow you’ll get the chance to do it again. Maybe I’ll swing the door to perfectly time it with a sound cue (off stage for no ones benefit except my own) or I’ll work on getting a sequence tighter so I get a few seconds to do some stretchs. Sometimes it can feel like a fun game I am playing with myself. A fun puzzle. I am really in each moment, it’s familiar, yet when suddenly something interrupts or goes wrong I don’t freeze like I do when I am at home, I just whurr into action and just know what to do.

Don’t get me wrong SMing hasn’t been great for my mental health at times. I have had anxiety and burnout, and far too little sleep. But that’s a whole other post.

I would love to know how SMing feels for you. Does it keep you in the moment feeling calm and present?

Accurate

Accurate

SUPER accurate

Hi anon,

It’s been okay thus far. Although its funny you ask this on today of all day’s. I was in the bedroom I am staying in, applying for jobs, as one does. Then my father knocks on my door and holds up a horrendously, tightly coiled extension chord.

Before he could even say anything I just blurt “yuck”’

He goes: “Did you coil this?”

Me: “God no. I’m offended you even asked such a question.”

Him: “Don’t coil cables like this it destroys them.”

Me: “....do you realize where I have been the last few years, and what I have been doing in that time?”

Him: “...”

Me: “....”

Him: *walks away shaking head*

So....there’s that. I’m doing okay, my four legged friend is loving the extra attention he’s getting from my mother as she simply adores him and is spoiling him rotten. Their dog is getting jealous and is unsure of what to think of her new roommate (but they get along just fine 😄).

Lighting buddy is doing well too. He has a temp job, I saw him recently and he’s just as goofy as ever, trying to keep things light and is as full of just as much sass as always. 

Thanks for checking in, hope you all are well <3

You can even make it double sided! 

Though I have started to see some things that give me hope we can make things more sustainable.

- a Head of Props refusing against the designers wishes to use unsustainably forested timber and helium.

- a sound op being granted the request to split the contract with someone else so they each do 4 shows a week instead of one person doing 8.

- actors handing back the water bottle given to them on the first day of rehearsals telling me they’ll bring their own instead

- laminating less

- collecting items that cannot be recycled at the theatre but can be dropped off at specific places such as thin plastics and ink cartridges.

- having a sharpie at the water cooler so if someone doesn’t have a water bottle they can at least write their name on their cup and re-use it.

- having a head of sustainability who ensures flats and other elements are re-used effectively and overseas other ways to be more sustainable.

- the workshop crew starting a veggie bed out the back

- Admin staff and actors starting a carpooling team

- more bike parking and riding to work encouraged

- theatres with solar panels

If you have another theatre charity in mind and we raise enough money, please let me know! I know Audra McDonald and other Black theatre artists have started an organization, and I’d love to be able to donate to them as well.

To every person who donates $10+ to the Actors Fund (dm me a screenshot) or who Venmos me (dm for my @), I’ll mail them a present.

So please if you need anything let me know and I’ll do what I can

Admin: I like spreadsheets.

and then i turned off all the lights and layed in the dark and listened to the rain on the metal roof

the world is so big and so cold and i am so small

but that doesn’t mean i can’t love what i do

you have to find the things that make you feel a little bigger and a little warmer