It 100% is arrogance. Almost everyone does have a deep and rich inner life, you just can't access it on demand without forming bonds first.
Small talk and deep thought aren't incompatible in a person, and thinking they are is absolutely rushing to have an answer not to understand why you feel alienated but to feel right about it.
Refusing to engage with others on any other terms than your preferred end goal already unlocked is opting in for alienation.
In short, once you start valuing the hypothetical deep talk that shows to everyone that you "stretched your brain" over the people you could have it with, you find yourself having neither. You place yourself above others by default, and find it lonely at the top once you built it for yourself.
i dunno about you but āhow few people tolerate complexityā hit me in the nards.
like, youāre right. youāre right that small talk is fine (i love it) and that people often do really like having deep conversations, and that there is a lot of arrogance in the mindset that āeveryone else is superficial.ā but we are also a culture which does not demand complexity and thoroughness from the people having discourse in public. our journalists, our pundits, our politicians all are rewarded for having the most superficial takes. journalists rarely follow up, or get secondary sources, and a lie circumnavigates the world three times by the time the truth puts on its shoes. we live in an era where people ask chat gpt for advice, for christ sake.
we do not ātolerate complexityā means that we REWARD the people who present to us pictures of the world which we know are simpler than the truth demands. i donāt know if itās a problem of modernity, to tell the truth. i donāt know that itās getting worse. but i believe itās becoming more important.
I'm fascinated by the folks who are MAD about this. There's a lot of people acting *personally insulted*. Instantly labeling this statement as 'arrogant' proves the point. I'm also wondering about the source of this 'quote', I'd like more context.
Many people, even well meaning, intelligent people: "complexity is too much work, give me a binary answer. is it 'this or that?"
Hurry to the end of your sentence so we can sign off on this convo! I've already decided what my response will be- I have not heard you at all because I've (incorrectly) guessed what you will say.
I 'heard' XYZ. This is a fact now. 'didn't you know..!' "They say..."
As someone who frequently has NO SCRIPT- can confirm, people are not able to respond gracefully, because they are NOT engaged in a dialogue.
based on folks reactions to the text: try some discernment, nuance is nice.
If you want to 'talk about the weather' - I'm gonna talk about Climate Change. if that's not 'small talk' for YOU -- why is it MY problem?
