intelligence and eloquence

a good thread

ok this looks ultra mega based, are you kidding me? can you imagine the bullshit i could get up to with this bad boy? fuck yes i want ten

via @tophatandboots

#oh and he's singing all this to a former conquest who tracked DG down because he promised to marry her then ditched her #anyway it's a lot

What You’ve Suspected Is True: Billionaires Are Not Like Us

And this is really true of any futuristic apocalypse scenario. If you can terraform Mars to have a thick oxygen atmosphere, why not just do that to Earth? Even if you smash an ice comet into Earth and destroy basically everything, Earth will still be more habitable than Mars! It'll still have roughly the right atmospheric pressure, and magnetic field, and heat balance, and it'll still have whatever life the comet didn't kill... Same with a starshade to cool Venus. Same with excavating asteroids into city-stations. Same with abandoning Sol System entirely and heading to another star. If an ark-ship arrived in a new star system and found Earth-but-choked-by-climate-change, the crew would be ecstatic. They would never have thought to get that lucky. So why bother with the trip? Just stay and fix the damn Earth.

another one... david lynch you're a dead man

they are now trying to figure out who they can trust, bc someone is leaking their private discord convos, and they think one of them is still friends with the pro shipper or beatles guy or both and they're trying to figure it out. its kind of like a modern day sonic for real justice but like, real

I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17″) Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I don’t think that’s a good idea

FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES! 

and now I found the “realistic torture/execution devices for dolls” section. 

This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious. 

that’s not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I can’t really remember what I was searching for 

oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!

they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism

wait, a flower? do… do flowers make sounds? 

THE WRENCH! 

now that is a fucking slogan

one of my favorite things is that when they’re showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and they’re ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES. 

sex toy or vulcan starship? 

OH MEHR SPIELMÖGLICHKEITEN! 

this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, there’s other parents.

In the quiet night all you can hear is your rapid breathing

I’m not sure anyone of any gender really wants scissors near their genitals, so this may not be the best design

sometimes all I can say is “what”

is this vaporwave?

I don’t think that’s how that works

your strawberries will never be safe

finally, the first robot that can eat a flan! 

(Unlike all those terrible dildos that don’t work in the living room or kitchen)

finally the first sex toy designed specifically for wizards! 

the united states of america is the most repugnant country in the world